View From The Dolan: Safe For Another Season

Ben’s take on a creditable 0-0 draw with Birmingham City that pushed Reading up to the 50-point mark.

It felt like a big game, this one. I guess on paper it probably wasn’t, but the tinpot version of me fell for the whole “we’re on Sky against the league leaders” narrative and I was looking forward to a lunchtime kick-off against the expensively assembled champions in waiting.

I always feel that faux panic with games that aren’t 3pm kick-offs, as if my world has flipped on some imaginary axis. In reality, it only shifts things forwards by two and a half hours but it feels like a rush to get everything done before the game kicks off. To be fair, I was ravenous for this edition of League One soccer ball, so left earlier than planned as I literally couldn’t wait to get there.

I noticed, upon approaching the ground, that there was an abundance of police. As is now tradition, I joked with the car park steward that it seemed like we were playing bloody Real Madrid or something. Well, the roar he gave in response to my wittiness would have given any lion a run for its money, let me tell you. Maybe I should do football-related stand-up.

Due to the early hour, I made my way to the table in the hotel that serves hot breakfast items (mainly baps) and coffee, buying both a coffee (black) and a bap (sausage). No sooner had I sat down at the furthest table away from humans in the upstairs bar of the hotel than I was accosted by the head of STAR and her daughter.

Autographs signed, I invited them to sit down and join me in the pre-match ambience. To be fair, it was a pre-arranged meeting and one I was glad of. Sarah Turner does a decent job under tricky circumstances and it was good to catch up.

After that, it was time to guzzle some football action, like a seagull greedily savaging a bag of discarded fried potatoes. The seated bowl wasn’t full, but it was fuller than previous games, and that was good as it meant more money in the coffers and not into Dai Yongge’s pocket - a fact we exclusively revealed many months ago on our pod.

We did OK in the first half. Both teams tended to cancel each other out fairly well, which led to some fairly consistent back and forth. Defensively we were very good, without Joel Pereira being tested much. There was a composure and confidence to our play that led to some fluid movements across the pitch and allowed us to cope well with they were trying to do.

I felt the atmosphere was, once again, fairly muted. Birmingham City had brought down around 3,000, but you wouldn’t know it if you were outside the stadium listening in.

All in all, a decent first half that gave me the belief we might walk away with at least a point. A half-time pint of best (lager) was drunk heartily and it was back up the old apples and pears to watch the second half.

Side note: apples and pears is fictional language for stairs. The official term for the dialect is “Cockney”, a phonetic-based speech which was invented by disgruntled factory workers in the early 19th century to confuse and annoy their masters. In this case, apples and pears refers to stairs.

The next 45 built on the previous one with more defensively monstrous antics, but with added midfield strength and poise. I felt, as in previous games, that we could have been more composed up top and the addition of Kelvin Ehibhatiomhan to the starting line-up had changed the complexion slightly.

Jayden Wareham came on and got some shots off, and in reality, we could have actually nicked the game. Some might have said that would have been harsh on Brum, but those people are idiots and don’t know anything about the game itself to be honest.

Am I disappointed with a draw? No. Could we have won the game? Yes. But we’ve reached 50 points and are safe for another season in League One. It’s a great achievement given all that’s gone on and, if we finish in the top 10, it will have been a good season. If you don’t agree I will literally fight you in the street with the same anger of a fat tabby cat that has been left unfed for half an hour.

It remains to be seen what happens for the remainder of the season, both on and off the pitch, but this result will have cheered our fans I’m sure and gives us renewed confidence for our trip to Wigan Athletic next week.

Until next time.