6 pettiest moments from college football Week 1: Miami pitches Florida recruits, Lane Kiffin bottles up Brian Kelly

Leave it to Gainesville, Florida — the birthplace of Tom Petty — to become the center of all college football pettiness during Week 1.

If only that was good news for the Gators.

Florida entered the season with cautious optimism in Year 3 of head coach Billy Napier’s regime and after a barely competitive loss to Miami, a number of fans are ready to cut ties.

That’s only on the field, though. Off of it, things got so much more embarrassing at The Swamp that we really could’ve chosen any number of examples to lead off Week 1’s pettiest moments.

Sit back and enjoy the drama.

Miami ruins Florida’s white out, then celebrates with the Gators’ recruits

It wasn’t enough that Miami began the week by trolling Florida’s decision to call for a white out at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium to open the season — though it was the obvious troll.

It wasn’t even enough that Florida’s DJ Douglas found himself sitting in the hedges as Miami players did the Gator chomp in his direction after failing to defend a touchdown.

What puts this game into the college football Pettiness Hall of Fame is that after the Hurricanes won, they celebrated on the field with all the recruits Florida invited to the game — something that was only possible because Florida inexplicably had its recruits seated between the Miami fan section and Miami’s tunnel.

Which is how you end up with what is — by far — the pettiest moment of the week: Hurricanes players telling Florida recruits to come to The U.

Florida Gators staffers were doing the most after the game yesterday. ushering Miami players away from recruits pic.twitter.com/BII3rRPfwL

— Footballville (@Footballville) September 1, 2024

Pour one out for the Florida staffers who had to usher the visiting players away from their recruits, but truly, the Gators would never have been in this position if they had sat them anywhere else. Or if Florida had won the game, but let’s go with the more realistic option.

The Pac-12 Network trolls the Big Ten from beyond the grave

Ostensibly, UCLA, USC, Washington and Oregon bolted to the Big Ten for the larger payday that comes with the conference’s media rights deal. That effectively left the Pac-12 for dead as every other school except Oregon State and Washington State found a life raft off the sinking ship. This isn’t to re-litigate realignment except to say when the Pac-12 Network officially signed off in June, it was fair to assume that was the last anyone would hear from them.

Once again, there’s still a Pac-12 after it goes dark.

Now the same lucrative Big Ten media deals that attracted the west coast schools in the first place are preventing some of their fans from watching. As the Comcast-Big Ten Network dispute drags on, the Pac-12 Network couldn’t help but rub salt in the wound with a perfect display of petty.

https://t.co/EGGR8e2MHy pic.twitter.com/1ZcPDQ13OG

— Pac-12 Network (@Pac12Network) August 30, 2024

Lane Kiffin gives Brian Kelly a Coke and a smile

It doesn’t take much for Ole Miss and Lane Kiffin to troll LSU fans, which really makes it all the more fun.

The perfect opportunity presented itself on Saturday and Tigers coach Brian Kelly really set himself up for it. First, by playfully mocking Kiffin’s (mostly correct) rant over how unhealthy Coca-Cola is, and then by losing LSU’s season-opener for a third consecutive year.

Kelly didn’t have to start a late-August press conference by praising Coke products, but once he did it opened the door for Kiffin to troll him right back on Saturday.

Lane Kiffin’s press conference: “Does anybody drink Coke? You realize 130% of your sugar for the entire day is in this one bottle?”

Brian Kelly’s press conference: “Hold my Smartwater…” pic.twitter.com/3mPxJhAIic

— The Bengal Tiger (@BengalTigerOn3) August 21, 2024

Maybe you just need a @CokeZero and a @CoachBrianKelly #LoveCoke https://t.co/mOVbDcAd3c

— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) September 3, 2024

USC wins the “fistfight” against LSU

Need more proof that elite athletes will take any and everything as bulletin board material? LSU tackle Will Campbell made as innocuous statement possible, calling attention to the team’s focus before the season-opening game against USC in Las Vegas.

“We know what we’re there for,” Campbell said. “It’s not to go to Caesars Palace. It’s to get in a fistfight.”

USC defensive tackle Bear Alexander took that personally, for some reason, and he couldn’t wait to throw it right back in Campbell’s face once the Trojans completed the 27-20 upset.

“What a first fight” – Bear Alexander @uscfb pic.twitter.com/25UBuvtKMe

— Las Vegas (@Vegas) September 2, 2024

Arkansas’ Ja’Quinden Jackson makes new friends in the end zone

Arkansas probably didn’t make a ton of friends at Arkansas-Pine Bluff after the Razorbacks’ 70-0 victory, but tailback Ja’Quinden Jackson might be the lone exception.

After gliding down the field untouched for a 46-yard touchdown, Jackson made sure to wave to the Golden Lions cheerleaders in the end zone.

That is how you petty.

He waved to the cheerleaders after scoring the TD pic.twitter.com/JDIPgSX8Ed

— SEC Network (@SECNetwork) August 30, 2024

Brett McMurphy shades Pete Thamel’s report

Oh, you thought only teams and fans get in on this fun? Oh no, no, no. A couple national reporters joined the Week 1 pettiness, too.

Florida State was ripped apart in Weeks 0 and 1 by Georgia Tech and Boston College, respectfully, to the tune of a 52-34 combined score.

During the BC loss, Action Network’s Brett McMurphy took the time  to retweet a feature by ESPN’s Pete Thamel pointing out how good FSU’s defensive line looked before the season.

Yep. That’s pure pettiness there.

Bring on Week 2.