MERINO CLOSE, WHO GETS BENCHED?
Leeeeeeet’s get into this FINE Monday morning with a quick blitz of the ol’ Arsenal news!
The biggest game of the weekend was Chelsea vs. City.
Questions I had:
- Was it a good strategy for Chelsea to take their squad total to 42 this summer?
- Was it good for the dressing room to have Raheem Sterling drop a press release about his disgust at being left out of the squad before the game?
- Was it a brilliant idea to give the vice-captaincy to a kid who dropped a bit of songful racismo when he was away with his homeboy?
- Was it sensible to sack an experienced manager who was getting a tune out of the players and replace him with a manager Leicester fans hated… because he looked like Pep G?
- Would Pep’s team drop the ball because he said he wasn’t motivated to win the Premier League this season?
Well - you can answer those questions yourselves… but it goes without saying, Chelsea still look absolutely ghaaarbaaargge.
Cucurella trying to constrain Haaland for the first goal was a joke…
Watching a very sluggish Kovacic waltz past Caicedo AND Enzo and smash it past the limp wrists of Robert Sanchez was painful viewing…
Chelsea, for all their transfer bluster, still looks like a bad version of Crystal Palace.
Here’s the thing: Chelsea have a lot of good players. But the ownership group is to football what Donald Trump is to campaign politics… absolute chaos.
I don’t think Enzo is a great hire, but honestly, put Pep in that situation and he’s failing. He has too many players, too much drama, and far too many people pulling the club every which way. The only possible strategy I can make of their summer is that they are stockpiling players because they know a nasty transfer ban or points deduction is incoming (based on Roman misdeeds or PSR breaches). The idea being that if you bring in 42 players, you’ll be able to make a top 4 squad out of 24 of them (maybe).
On a personal, human level, my upset is that some very good players could have had very different career trajectories if they’d said yes to clubs that cared about their careers…
Arsenal thought Mudryk was an explosively exciting talent they could take to the very top. Arteta pulled out the red carpet to acquire him, but in the end, he was bullied into a move to Chelsea. Now he sits benched behind 19 wingers. Caicedo might not have been our first choice, but he was going to strike to get a move to Arsenal before he took a short-term deal with Brighton, then he sold his soul to Chelsea. He looked utterly lost against City. You don’t get those development years back - you can’t be young again.
Who speaks of Emi Buendia? Houssem Aouar? Dusan Vlahovic? Fresneda? Omari Hutchinson? No one. They made bad choices, and they are going to pay for that with average careers. It still amuses me that Graham Potter didn’t want Mudryk; he was begging for… Leo Trossard.
Back to the game: Man City did Man City things. They are at a high level already. They won without Rodri. It was a third-gear win. Almost boring. It’s going to be a slog to catch them this season - but we’re up to it.
Arsenal will sign Mikel Merino this week, and that will likely end the Declan Rice as a left-sided 8 debate for a little while. Merino is mobile, aggressive, brilliant in the air, technically secure, and ready to give the last 4 years of his career to Arsenal. I watched back the Arsenal game yesterday, and whilst I do believe Thomas was good for the first half… he was pretty terrible after 55 minutes. His legs have clearly gone, he’s not as secure as he used to be, and I expect he’ll be the Mo Elneny of this season unless he can secure an unlikely move to Saudi.
Some folk on the internet have critiqued me for going knee-jerk on Thomas - are you kidding? Thomas at his peak is one of the best #6 players in world football.
The problem with him is two-fold:
He’s been injured since day one and never demonstrated any sort of durability
He’s been in rapid physical decline in 2024. It’s clear his legs are gone and that is sapping his confidence and his ability to do what Thomas does best in midfield. He’s no long trustworthy. Watching him give the ball is how it felt watching Auba miss 6-yard open goals or seeing Ronald mutter to himself ‘I am the best’ before blasting 50 yards over the bar in an empty Saudi stadium over the weekend.
Let’s also be blunt about the value Partey has offered us since joining 46 months ago.
Weekly salary: £200,000
Time at Arsenal: 46 months (approximately 3.83 years)
Total earnings: £200,000/week * 52 weeks/year * 3.83 years
Total earnings: £200,000 * 52 * 3.83 = £39,832,000
Now, divide by the number of appearances:
Cost per appearance = £39,832,000 / 116 appearances ≈ £343,379.31
However you cut it, his signing has not been a success, it’s been a hindrance. Compare him to Rodri, who has been at City about 61 months, with a minutes-per-month average 40% higher than Thomas. Imagine if we’d landed 13,900 minutes from Thomas vs the 6933 he’s given? We’d have been in the Champions League earlier and we’d already have at least one Premier League title. No point in having superstars if they aren’t on the pitch.
So in short, don’t pretend me calling out Thomas is a crime, and don’t threaten that it’ll come back to bite me. It won’t. He’s done, has been for a while.
This weekend against Villa, we can’t afford a passenger like Partey because Villa will kill him. My expectation here is that he will drop to the bench, Declan will play #6, Kai will drop into LCM, Gabi Jesus will play as the 9, and we might even see Trossard get a start after a bland Martinelli start to the season. Escape Villa with a point or more and we’re cooking… but we have to beware, Emery has a hex on me; the white witch he was dating put her powers against my joy, and if we lose, it’s all on me. For that, I am sorry.
How about those freaks on YouTube saying they prefer Emery over Arteta? What is wrong with people?
This week will be very interesting on the exits front - Brentford and Palace both looked like they could do with an Eddie up front. It’s clear to certain managers that their teams aren’t where they need to be. We have a pace machine winger, a U21 record-breaking striker, a top 4 keeper, and an international left-sided centre back - I expect the interest to heat up.
I’m also expecting more players to bang the table for moves now it’s clear they’re surplus. Raheem Sterling went public yesterday, so no doubt he’ll be looking for a loan, no obligation to buy. Madrid, Bayern, Barca, and PSG all have talent begging for minutes. There really could be some bargains to be had in the next 12 or so days.
Okay, that’s me done - see you in the comments. Check out Johnny’s ratings if you so please.
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