Tampa Bay Rays to donate Tropicana Field to Boston Red Sox

Tampa Bay Rays fans are excited to finally be getting a new stadium, but what will happen to Tropicana Field? In a gesture of charity and good-will, the Rays plan to donate their lightly used stadium to the Boston Red Sox.

"Not every team is fortunate enough to be able to build a new, modern MLB stadium," says MLB commissioner Rob Manfred, "The Boston Red Sox have been stuck playing in an inadequate facility for far too long. It's an embarrassment. Frankly, I wouldn't hold a little league tournament in such an undersized, ramshackle heap."

Logistical Considerations

Normally transferring a gigantic structure like a stadium over 1300 miles would be a logistical nightmare. Fortunately, since Tropicana Field is constructed entirely from sheet metal, canvas, and cables, it disassembles quickly and can be packed onto a series of flatbed trucks, and reassembled with little trouble. The hardest part of this process will be cleaning up the mess left at the former Fenway site.

A larger concern will be beefing up the structural support. In Tampa Bay, the stadium has never been at capacity more than a handful of times. It's difficult to say how well it will hold with a fan base that actually attends games.

Rays Up, a Culture of Giving

The Rays are committed to energizing our community through the magic of baseball. It comes as no surprise then that the team would be eager to help an organization such as the Red Sox.

Rays general manager Erik Neander, in a press release announcing the deal, "One of the guiding principles of the Rays is giving not just to our local community, but to Major League Baseball in general. The Rays have a long history of giving our most talented players to less skilled teams and are now excited to give our friends in the AL East, the Boston Red Sox, a full-size Major League caliber stadium to call home."

Team Reactions

John Farrell, "Well, Fenway, has history and all, but the Trop has always felt like home-away-from-home for us. We've already moved the guys from practicing aiming at the green monster to inflate their offensive numbers to aiming at the catwalks instead."

"Now, we will give up our 300 feet 'home runs' but we are all hoping that getting David Price back into a place he feels comfortable in will more than make up for it."

Evan Longoria from the Rays, "In a lot of ways It'll be sad seeing the stadium I've played my whole career in moved, but on the other hand, this is great franchise opportunity for Ducky's! Remember, every day is a different drink special at your neighborhood Ducky's restaurant. Here, have some Ducky's Dollars on the house .... "

A Time for Change

Once reassembled in Boston, the former Tropicana Field will be renamed to Curt Schilling Memorial Park in honor of one of Boston's most outstanding citizens and model players both on and off the field. Additionally, the Rays Tank in center field will be drained and converted into the Rage Tank where Boston players and fans can safely, and entertainingly, throw fits over minor transgressions. With the Sale trade, this was a must-have item for the like-new park.

A beige tuna can in the middle of Boston may at first seem out of place. However, after a few seasons of smog, urine, and frat-boy vomit and Curt Schilling Memorial Park will belong in Boston, just like a Red Sox fan at a Rays game.