SPURS BRUTALISED, AGAIN
There is just no way it gets better than that in a North London Derby. Arsenal demolished Spurs in their own house with 4 goals. That’s the second time this season we’ve smacked them up with that many goals. The aggregate sits at 8-2. Arsenal unleashed 20 shots, taking the total across two games to 37. Spurs managed 9. Not in one game, across two.
Arsenal are massive, North London is dark red, that color that tends to mean you’re dead if you’ve accidentally impaled yourself in the garden.
Agent Vinai’s big swing at Spurs was to bring in a nobody from Italy. Too cute by half. The sort of move that has your DVD team hailing you as a genius if it works out, but also the type of move that lives on in infamy because you relegated a team for the first time in 50 years, whilst also losing them key sponsors who are leaving because Spursy has gone from localised banter to freewheeling terminology used on the international political stage.
I don’t want to talk about how bad Spurs are, because the reality of their situation never matters in a North London Derby. But, let’s be clear, that was dreadful from them. Their squad reeks of banter-era mediocrity. None of them care. Xavi Simons was the great hope; he looked like a boy. Archie Gray, an inexplicably expensive signing, looked like he’d walked in from the academy. There’s just nowhere to look when you’re a Spurs fan, desperate for a sign of life.
But always remember when you’re doing a wellness check-in with your Spurs mates: They BEGGED their team to fail against City two years ago. There’s a line in football and that line is you NEVER beg for your team to lose. The reaction when that happened in the stadium was so bad, Ange yelled at the fans. It spoke to an unspeakably rotten culture that was so rancid, it had poisoned the fans.
That’s why what we did to them, in their sparkly NFL venue, will go down as a cruel-to-be-kind moment. Like watching your dad take the family hamster out the back when the tumor got too big. Don’t ask why he didn’t pay the £100 to the vet to take care of it, just be happy Jaws is in a better place now. Just as Jaws is in a better place, Spurs could be about to meet the diabolical fate of having to host teams like Lincoln City next season. Wonderful, right?
But you’re not here to revel in their misery (yes you are, you sick freaks). You’re here to bask in the sexy feelings of a MONSTER win.
The Game
I don’t want to put too much credit for this win on Arteta. Oliver Glasner said a few weeks ago that there are certain games that don’t require tactics; players just know what the job is. This was one of those games. Mikel said before the game players had to deal with the noise, because taking bullets was part of the job. Feeling sorry for yourself because nobodies like me are calling you cowards is loser behavior, and these boys are not losers.
The reaction was spectacular. You knew from minute one the type of Arsenal that had shown up. Spurs were boxed in. They had nowhere to go. Did PGMOL try and break up our rhythm? Yes. The lino having equipment issues was a peak banter moment from an org not good with details; the fact it happened twice FELT CONSPIRATORIAL. Like Chemtrails. Why are they there? Did Howard Webb do those too?
But they couldn’t shake Arsenal off the mission at hand. I knew it was going to be a good day early on when Gyokeres broke on the right, cut inside Dragusin, and clipped a shot just wide. That was Sporting Lisbon Viktor, and he maintained that all day long.
Our first goal was a touch fortunate. Saka was trying to drive into the box on the right, it looked like he’d been blocked by Pape Matar Sarr, but Saka freed it, then cut back to Eze. His first touch was loose and pinged up, but he watched it down and struck it down low where Vicario could not reach it. A very classy finish. The celebration covering his mouth was so, so funny.
“Just keep it safe boys, just keep it…” to “DEAR GOD DECLAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING” happened within the space of two minutes. Kolo Muani, a player who hadn’t scored a Premier League goal in 1000 minutes before that, ate up the indecision, cut across Saliba, then squeezed a shot inside Gabriel and under Raya. Rank. Especially as I’d spent a lot of last season reminding my friend Dylan that Muani was a horrible Jan suggestion last year.
What a fucking disaster. Our best player had just dropped a major fuck up in the NLD, giving Spurs their first touch in the box, and a goal. Did we all start feeling sorry for ourselves? We did. We’re on quite the run of getting punished to the max for any error. This was another example. SHOCKING.
But, do future champions cry or DEFY? They defy. You like that line?
As jarring as the goal was, Spurs were still awful. Hincapie dropped a stunning 50-yard pass into Saka; Vicario dropped a masterful block, annoying, but it showed the squad that we were going to continue getting openings.
The second half opened to a Xavi Simons strike that was well saved by Raya. It was a moment where you had a double-take, wondering if something majestical was about to happen to Spurs and they were going to find a way to down us. Then the ball went down the other end. Timber played a pass that looked destined for an Eze run, but it went behind him; Van de Ven followed the creator, leaving Big Vik alone on the edge of the box. He touched the ball in front of him and just ripped a low right-footed shot that curled past Vicario. WHAT A MOMENT.
Our luckiest escape came on 52 minutes. Conor Gallagher found himself at our corner flag, he clipped a speculative cross at the front post that was deflected by Trossard, Muani shoved Gabriel, controlled the ball, and blasted under Raya. The ref blew up for a foul, and Darren England of all people backed the decision. I might just not be used to those things going our way, but Gabriel looked VERY weak in that moment; he didn’t need to go down, it was a crazy risk to take.
The third goal was Eze in a good moment. He created a transition moment, getting in front of Bissouma, the tackle fell to Gyokeres who did enough to make sure the ball moved back to Eze, his one-touch pass set Saka free, his shot was blocked by Vicario, but the spillage fell to Eze who took one touch, then swept his strike into an empty net with his right foot.
The final OH F*CK moment was Declan again. He controlled a long ball into our area with a cut-back, but he overran the ball, allowing Solanke to start a move that let Djed Spence find a Richarlison backheel that went through the legs of Raya… but the Spaniard channeled his inner David Seaman and somehow clawed the ball wide for Mosquera to clear. Save of the season from the best keeper on the planet. He atoned for his error against Wolves. Magnificent.
The final goal was Martinelli (sub), to Madueke (sub), to Odegaard (sub), to Gyokeres, who broke into the area and let off a far-corner rocket for the ages to kill Spurs in the 93rd minute.
Game over. Spurs were dead. Arsenal went Men In Black style on the memories of the last three weeks and looked into the red dot. We were now title contenders who could step up in the big moments and make it count.
Player Standouts
Every Arsenal player was a winner from the day, but Eze was the one who really shone for me, because a creator is what we’ve lacked and Martin has been very unreliable. Arteta sucked up his pride, gave up on the Saka experiment, and put minutes on a big-game player with it all to prove. He said after the game.
‘Eze was upset, even with me because I didn’t play him from the beginning (Wolves). I start to understand how we’re going to get the best out of him now.’
And my word, did Arteta get the best out of him. He was the Eze of old, calm, confident, and swaggery with his one-touch movement… and he gave us difference-making bang-BANG. Now he’s shown us in his last two starts he’s ready to deliver, let’s fucking see it consistently.
Big Vik was, without doubt, a sensation. He doubled his usual output when it came to touches, notching an incredible 44. Was it all perfect? No. But I’ll let you have that he bullied that Spurs backline. He created for himself, and he did what we bought him for… scored two brilliant goals. That was flat-track bullying. It was nasty stuff. Now he’s the player with the 5th highest goal count in the league and the highest goal contributions in 2026. What do we need? More. Do it against a top 10 side, like Chelsea, this weekend. Be this guy every week. This was a moment to build on, it was a legendary moment he’ll always be part of if we can win the league, but it could also keep him first choice next season if this is the real Gyokeres. I have an open mind, which is progress for me, so let’s take it one step at a time.
Saka won’t grab the headlines because he didn’t have a goal or an assist, but he was monstrous. Involved deeply in all aspects of the game. Hungry, well balanced, fighting for every moment to keep Arsenal in this god forsaken ugly title run that’ll be the death of us all. He’s in form, he’s not contributing how we expected, but make no mistake, he’s still our starboy.
Declan Rice was getting pelters after his two fat errors, but I’m not having it. This is a man who is playing with pain, fatigue, and whatever else you can imagine. He is a warrior, he never wimps out of a game, he is carrying us to the promised land. He was a duel monster, he kept the team going for the whole game, we are lucky to have him. Mistakes happen; he is forgiven because he is the best midfielder in the world. He has 7 days off now; hope Arteta dials down the training asks.
Another player who gets a pass on errors is David Raya. I saw the nerds picking on him after the Wolves game because his long kicks were erratic and he made a mistake. That happens at the level of risk he’s playing at, but if you were worried he wasn’t the best in the world, you were slapped when he dropped that world-class save. Concede that, and we’re probably collapsing again. He played a big role in keeping that game all Arsenal.
Looking Ahead
The real winner here is our confidence. The belief that we are the best team in the world right now. That we can get 8 wins and 2 draws from these last 10 games of the season. Before that annihilation of Spurs, it was questionable.
Away fans are giving the players the fear fuel in the stands:
“Second again, ole, ole.”
Fans all around the country are reminding Arsenal players that history will not be kind if they capitulate to a record 4th second-place finish in a row. The stain of being also-rans at a record level is a noxious elixir they don’t want to be near, and against Spurs on Sunday, they showed they’re not going to take that sort of record without a massive fight.
The good news is we have Odegaard fit, Calafiori fit, and it’s very likely we’ll see Kai on Sunday with Max Dowman following closely after. A whole group of players ready to bake into a squad fizzing with confidence. That’s a good place to be. A VERY good place. Even better? We have a free week. No cup games to deal with. Crazy that we call that a break these days, but that’s where we are. Just got to pray Mikel, who looked humbled after the game, uses that time to give players some rest… vs letting his coaches run riot with training. This week off isn’t just about fresh legs, it’s also about fresh minds. Pep says he’ll let his players have cocktails, Arteta just need to take the foot off the gas. No one is getting any fitter, not one is getting any smarter, it’s time for him to ease off and let the players have a little respite.
There’s a long way to go. But it’s now just Arsenal vs City. We have hard games, but so do City. This season will go down to the wire regardless of what happens at the Etihad. As Arsenal fans, all we can do is buckle in, support the team, and pray the footballing gods shine on us.
Ok, that’s me done. Have a great day, check in on your Spurs mates, and when they tell you they are down bad, make it worse.