White Sox news goes national!
International, even, right? The pope, he’s a big deal?
The White Sox have gotten big coverage lately, and for a change not all of it is bad.
The main news, of course, is that Pope Leo XIV is a lifelong Sox fan, no matter what scurrilous claims the other team in town and its know-nothing supporters may claim. That may have even been to the benefit of the White Sox even before the conclave, given two rain-shortened victories that probably would not have lasted to regulation that were a sure sign from above.
Now, it’s definitely a help. No sooner did photos emerge of His Holiness at the 2005 World Series than the Sox heeded what every fan knew needed to be done and brought up Tim Elko. As miracles go, that’s a minor one, but an excellent sign of things to come.
Still, once the pope gets broken in to the job, finding his away around his new digs and all, he has some serious work to do on behalf of his favorite team. We’re talking infallibility stuff.
Like many a non-Catholic, I’d always supposed infallibility was something that came with the promotion, but I looked it up, and the situation is a little more complicated. A pope can’t, for instance, be at lunch and infallibly make the right choice of dessert. And unfortunately, if asked how he thinks a certain game will go, he can’t infallibly predict an outcome and make followers of the betting persuasion rich. And he can’t infallibly call for a particular batting order.
Instead, infallibility is limited to when a pope speaks ex cathedra on matters of faith and morals — so only when he’s pontificating, as it were. Still, there are certainly ways a diehard fan would get around that.
Let’s say once he’s settled in, Leo XIV is making an official decree about being kind and generous and good stewards of the Earth and such. At the end, while still officially proclaiming, he adds, “Pro deos immortales, vende turmam, vende turmam, vende turmam!” Since in ancient (but not necessarily church) Latin a “v” is pronounced as a “w” that just sounds like he’s saying a prayer for a girl named Wendy Tur’s mom, but actually he’s saying (thank you, translate.com — my three years of high school Latin were a very, very long time ago), “For heaven’s sake, sell the team, sell the team, sell the team!!”
Now, you may think, “That could apply to many teams in many sports all over the world,” which is true enough. But it would take a special case of divine intervention if, under all those vestments, His Holiness just happened to be wearing a Mark Buehrle jersey. Job done.
That’s probably not something the pope could leap into right off, what with other duties and all, so we fellow Sox fans need to be slightly patient. But not too patient, which brings us to:
IT TURNS OUT ESPN EMPLOYS A BLITHERING IDIOT
ESPN often produces a list of MLB teams, rating them in one way or another, sometimes with suggestions for how they might improve. One such list in the past week gave advice on what each team needs now.
For the first 28, it was the usual stuff — pitchers who need to get their changeups under control, hitters who need to be more selective and such — but at No. 29 (yes, the White Sox are now clear up to No. 29 on most lists — thank you, Rockies!) the author, whose name I forget, said the need was “Fan patience.” Those words were followed by an ad, so I thought that was it, which would have been fine, but instead the item continued.
Now, fan patience might be a reasonable suggestion if the follow-up was, “it’s bad karma to eagerly anticipate the death of an old man, no matter what kind of godawful, grasping, manipulative jerk he is, so fans need to let nature take its course, even if it means last place for decades more.”
The phrase would also make sense if the writer were to say that the White Sox have a real problem they better do something about, and fast, because fan patience is rapidly wearing out. But n-o-o-o-o-o, this bozo (apologies to the original Bozo) joined the Jerry Reinsdorf sycophants in blaming fans for not being indulgent enough. Yeesh.
The writer claims to be a Chicagoan, and yet talks about how this is just the second year of a rebuild and shouldn’t be hurried. What total b.s..
Has he completely forgotten the seven years in the wilderness from 2013-19, including the original, alleged rebuild? Did he not notice that the only two winning seasons and playoff appearance in more than a decade came in the 60-game season of 2020 when damned near everybody made the playoffs (especially teams in the then incredibly weak Central divisions, which only played each other and then proceeded to go 2-14 in the playoffs) and 2021 when the NL Central somehow wasa again the interleague competition — thus the White Sox played almost two-thirds of their games against teams with losing records (104, if you’re keeping count), and again exited the playoffs in rapid-fire fashion?
He wants more patience? Really? Maybe it would be good is ESPN had less patience with him.
Not that all national writers should be attacked. There are good ones, like:
AN IDEA WHOSE TIME HAS DEFINITELY COME
Jim Bowden, ex-GM and now a writer for The Athletic, wrote recently on trades he’d like to see made now — emphasis on the now. One of those trades would involve the White Sox, but the important part is the now bit.
As do many thousands of fans, Bowden questioned why deals of any importance seem to always wait until the last day or two before the trade deadline; such procrastinating often makes no sense at all, except maybe from the point of view of the commissioner’s office as it tries to hype midsummer interest in the game even for followers of lousy teams, such as, well, you know. Sure, there are teams that won’t know until late July whether they want to buy or sell or just stand pat. But with almost half making the playoffs and others having a good chance at them, there are lots of buyers. And there are teams, such as one you may be familiar with, that know they’re hopelessly out of it and ready to sell.
Certainly, waiting makes no sense for buyers. If they need a position fixed, having four months of improvement is twice as good as having two.
As for sellers, they may think there may be more potential buyers later, as injuries set in, but it’s just as possible there will be fewer teams interested in trade — and if your expected trade bait are some of the players who get injured, you’re toast. Which brings us to the potential White Sox trade Bowden proposes.
That swap would have Luis Robert Jr., the only decent bait the Sox have to put on the hook, going to the Rangers for their No. 12 prospect according to MLB, Kohl Drake, and their No. 9, Dylan Dreiling. Drake is a southpaw starter who is moving rapidly through the ranks and is doing very well, including a 2.42 ERA in Double-A this year. Dreiling is an outfielder who has struggled since turning pro last year, but does walk a lot. Both gets scores of 45 overall from the scouts, which would put them high on Sox lists.
But the point isn’t any specific trade. It’s getting the job done now. Could Robert hit better as the season goes on, upping his value? Maybe, but he’s prone to injury and he’s a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve, so is apt to get run down physically, mentally and emotionally as another terrible Sox season proceeds.
It’s such a good idea, you’d think there’s no chance the ignorant White Sox would actually do such a thing, but then Bob Nightengale of USA Today, who functions as Jerry Reinsdorf’s personal typist, wrote that the Sox want to trade Robert by Memorial Day.
That would be terrific, both for the team and for Luis, who deserves a chance to play for a winner, which would probably raise his spirits no end.
Maybe the pope could suggest it.