White Sox Drop Game 2 to Astros, 9-4

P A I N

The Chicago White Sox suffered a demoralizing, 9-4 loss to the Houston Astros on Friday afternoon in Minute Maid Park. While the Sox seemed well-positioned to win coming into today’s action, the Universe had other plans. Not even Drake LaRoche could have saved the team from the many ailments that befell them.

You know what this game was like? It was like that nagging pain that you’ve had in your back for about six months. Sometimes, the pain is so excruciating that your only defense is to lay down and take as many Tylenols as you are allowed to have without dying. You think to yourself, “I definitely need to go to the doctor about this.”

Then, it gets better. You can get through your day without copious amounts of anti-inflammatories. You may not be at 100%, but it’s manageable. You decide you don’t need the doctor after all. In fact, your brother just called you and needs you to help move a piano to his house. “Sure,” you immediately agree. “No problem.”

Except it is a problem. It’s a big problem. The pain comes back in a major way, and you find yourself in the Emergency Room.

That’s what this game was like.

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How bad was it? For this recap, we’ll be breaking down this loss while referring to the Pain Scale that you find in most doctor’s offices.

No Pain: Luis Robert

Robert continues to have a very impressive postseason. Today, he went 3-for-4, including this single in the top of the fifth to tie the game:

Mild Pain: Lucas Giolito

Giolito had an amazing start to the game, whiffing the first three batters he faced. The rest of his outing was a battle. Gio gave it his all, but left the game after 4⅓ innings, 90 pitches, three hits, and four runs.

Moderate Pain: The White Sox’ 7-8-9 hitters

The bottom third of the White Sox lineup left today’s game with their collective tail tucked between their legs. Together, they went 2-for-11. César Hernández managed to walk once.

Severe Pain: MLB Network’s broadcast

The feed cut out for several minutes during a pivotal moment in the bottom of the fifth. The broadcasters bemoaned metrics, mispronounced Eloy Jiménez’s name as “Elroy HIMINez,” and even had to apologize on-air for a thinly-veiled, racist comment. 0/10. Would not recommend.

Very Severe Pain: Tony La Russa’s bullpen management and defensive substitutions

After Hernández pinch-hit for Adam Engel in the seventh inning, Leury García was moved into right field. That same inning, he misjudged a fly ball off the bat of Carlos Correa that resulted in two runs.

Despite having Michael Kopech, who is arguably the most dangerous weapon in the White Sox’ arsenal, waiting in the bullpen, La Russa decided instead to employ Aaron Bummer. Bummer gave up three hits, three runs, and any hope the White Sox had of a come-from-behind victory. Kopech remains preserved for ... 2022?

Worst Pain Possible: Being down 0-2 in the series against MLB’s most infuriating team

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Today’s scorecard highlights:

• Aw, man, remember the bottom of the first inning? That was cool.

• That’s a whole lot of strikeouts for the bottom third of the Sox lineup. Yikes.

• I stopped keeping score after the eighth inning. It was too much for my heart to take.

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This was a tough one, no doubt about it, but the White Sox aren’t done yet. They’ll face the Astros in Game 3 Sunday evening in Chicago, with a starter-to-be-named-later and a full crowd of eager, blacked-out fans. Win or lose, it should be fun.

Fun is winning.

Winning is fun.