FPF, March 30 - Zunino, Ichiro, Oh No
- Mike Zunino would have played this game if he was playing for any other manager in M's history. Can you imagine Lou's response to an Opening Day catcher talking about a twinge 4 hours before Opening Night? Eric Wedge's mustache would have darted around poor Mike's head like an enraged vampyr bat until Zunino got the gear on. Bob Melvin would have just looked disappointed and Z would have felt bad enough to go out anyway. Mike Hargrove would have sat in silence when Mike asked to leave, continuing to be silent, staring back and perfectly still, until Mike finally relented and/or it started to snow. Corollary: This event is the first in-season evidence of Dr. Martin And Her Magic Fitbit starting to have a positive impact.
- Ichiro is not being marketed cleverly enough by this team. They have a golden opportunity here to do something unique in baseball: turn his inevitable DL trip into a farewell barnstorming tour through the minor leagues. Can you imagine the hype of being able to see Ichiro Suzuki, Everett AquaSock? Rehab the calf for 30 days and dredge him through every level of the minor leagues. The youngsters in the org get to ooh and ahh and get his advice at each level. He can help set attendance records at 4 or 5 stadiums. Merchandising. The whole thing. And if his trip in the lowest minors indicates he may not be able to hit anymore, due to calf or eyesight or bat speed or too many Griffey tickles or whatever, park him in Tacoma and convert him to a long reliever. He said he wanted to switch to pitching when he no longer could hit. He said he wanted to pitch to Ohtani once this season. Read the damn tea leaves, M's.
- Anyone who roots for this team to succeed is rooting for me to straight up die. I am very proud to have been there for the largest regular season crowd in Safeco history. That goes in the old memory hole along with being one of the earliest Maple Grove folk, being at the first Supreme Court, being at Night Court (yes I know), being there for Ichiro Beats Mariano, and so on. However, judging from how physically and emotionally spent I am the day after, a playoff game at home would literally kill me. I have joked about this before but now I am certain. Logically, therefore, anyone who wants to see the Mariners in a postseason game at any point in the next 25 to 50 years has it in for me.