A Rare Breed of Women: Surfing Grandmothers by Bernie Shelly | Part 1
“Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety.”
(William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra).
As improbable as hen’s teeth, ‘Ouma’ or ‘Gogo’ are not words that personify these unique women. Hailing from all the surf spots around South Africa, they have energy and attitude in abundance. Their ages range from 60 to 78 years old and between them they are the proud grandmothers of 20 adored grandchildren. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world and these biddies rule!
While they take immense pleasure in their grand-parenting role, these feisty fossils prefer a different sort of life from most grannies. They embrace the challenge of the ocean and show up to life.
Not without the usual obstacles that age brings, they have one thing in common: they all find pleasure in surfing. Their love for the lifestyle lifts their spirits every day as they grow old disgracefully.
There’s a price to pay for their excessive sun time and the thrills they enjoy, yet not one would forgo a day’s perfect surf. To them sun-kissed wrinkles are legacy road maps and the chronicles of a life well lived.
These grandmas might be of an earlier generation but they are quite savvy when it comes to some of the gadgets they use to aid their surf decisions. On Garmin and Apple watches they check accomplishments such as the number and length of their rides; they review the weather, wind and swell forecasts; they check out reports on social media and they scrutinise their favourite breaks on surf cams.
Their wardrobes hold not crocheted cardigans but a choice of wetsuits: from 5/4, some with rubber or neoprene hoodies, for cold oceans, to thin 2mm for the warmer waters. They choose from Long Janes with or without rubber jackets, to shorties, depending on conditions.
Notwithstanding the necessity of wetsuits, particularly in the waters of Cape Town, which can hit as low as nine degrees, they’re that bit further along the age line (and the lineup) so the sensuousness of water is more striking, possibly because they’re in less of a rush, possibly they’re more appreciative of the wonders of nature and realising their place in the world.
The golden grandees are a diverse group, all with multiple facets to their lives, all with ocean-kissed memories, all with watery treasures to uncover.
From Cape Town, weathered wahine, grandam Bernie:
I wake with the sun, and while I’d like to dawdle under the duvet, I must catch the tide at its best and I must beat the wind. I remember myself years ago, capable of taking on the world with a big smile and an attitude of infallibility. The smile is still there although the world has shrunk and fallibility shadows me. But it does not deter me from my passion for the ocean’s delights.
Now I surf within my limitations, which is why I can continue to surf as I approach my eighties. Unlike so many of my vintage who, if they are not dead already, kill their surf-love and give up. Why? Because they are no longer physically capable of doing what they used to do, and so, humiliated and defeated, they walk away from a life they once embraced. Now I log – ride traditional style longboards. And I gave up competitive surfing years ago – but I do have all my trophies to savour. It suits me perfectly and I love it. My boards are my besties. Preferring smaller waves than I did in my younger days is not a capitulation – I consider it a triumph.
Mother of four, grandmother of eight, (ages ranging from primary school to fourth year med school) retired psychology lecturer, sometimes writer (working on a novel about surfing women), past hockey, league squash player, still a hiker, gardener, animal lover, was a golden retriever breeder and now shelter dog rescuer, I’m, apart from all this, unashamedly a surf junkie.
Most of my grandkids love the ocean but only one surfs – in Australia. I’ve been called ‘a doyen of WP longboards; gutsy, passionate; has an intimate
connection with the ocean, the environment and with life; friendliest of people; inspiring, curious – and some bad stuff too: like ‘opinionated and argumentative’.
Twenty-one years ago I was a lone surfing grandmother, in keeping with the pioneering aspect of my cascading life. But while I remain the most sepia vintage in the water, I have contemporaries who have joined the glorious ranks. Here they are:
From Cape Town, Caroline: fun loving and versatile:
Caroline, at age 65, says: “Surfing helps frame my life attitude – the cold water, the waves, dealing with the elements, the wind, very addictive sport,” she says. This 65 year old started surfing at age 38 while on holiday in Plettenberg Bay, where she rented a board, rode a couple of foamies and was hooked. “I am drawn to a steep wave as there is nothing like the exhilaration of a good drop, and I keep going back for more.”
Caroline now surfs a stand-up paddle board – an eight foot lightweight carbon board and she catches more waves than she did on a surfboard. “I won’t be able to ride a surfboard anymore. You lose the ability to ‘pop up’.” Her athletic frame belies this problem, so she says: “I’m very thin; I need to eat more, even though, of course it’s healthy to be slim.” Her legs are strong, I note, so that offsets her lack of bulk. “On my sup I find the wind needs to be below nine knots or I get blown off the wave.” But strong wind is not too much of a problem because she also kite surfs and most often rides strapless, which requires skill, and is more exciting. “Having fun is my driving force and the ocean is my playground,” she says.
Semi retired after selling her futon manufacturing business, she spends two or three hours a day helping out with her twin granddaughters who will soon be two years old. “I take the twins to the sea often. I can’t wait for them to be old enough to wear a wetsuit.”
She says she’s lucky being a grandmom: “First you rear children while establishing a career, trying to put food on the table, getting them to school
on time, whereas being a nanna is pure enjoyment – you can leave responsibility to the parents. I just play with them, running up and down, jumping on the bed…” I say they are lucky kids to have a grandmother who can still play with them. Right now, though, she is incapacitated after
an op on her knee for a torn meniscus – that’s the price she pays for her fun.
When asked about the effect of the sun on her skin, Caroline replied: “I put instant protection waterproof sunscreen on before I even leave the house. Especially with kiting you don’t feel the wind-sun combination burning you. But we’re partially protected in Cape Town because we wear wetsuits. I do try for sunscreen that doesn’t harm nature.”
I ask, as she’s older than the ‘typical’ surfer, if she has friends in the surf? “A buddy is essential: firstly so you can share the stoke from a great wave session and secondly if you get into trouble out there it’s good to have help close by. I once sliced my foot open on a fin and was pouring blood. My buddy helped wrap the foot and get me to an ER for stitches.” But she says with a grin, that surfer friends don’t come if you invite them for lunch if the surf is cooking.
Until recently Caroline used to surf her SUP in the morning and kite in the afternoon but she says because of the reality of age she now finds one session a day enough.“Living in Tableview where the south east wind blows in Summer I get to be out there often.”
From Durban, Joanie the everyday addict:
Joanie is 68; she began surfing at 54 years old. Starting to surf at
54! She showed it can be done. When her boyfriend was learning to surf,
she borrowed his extra board. “The first time I stood up [on the board] I
thought it was the biggest rush ever. Couldn’t get enough.” She tried a
longboard but prefers an eight foot minimal. She had done
some windsurfing before, but the sport “died in Durban,” she said.
She is a known charger so I asked her what the secret to her youthfulness and energy and stoke is: “I have always been a bit over-energetic and I battle to sit still. Surfing is the perfect fit. I seem unable to
sleep in (to everyones irritation) and I get up at 4.30 am. I surf at dawn at either North Beach, Dairy or New Pier, unless it’s very rough large surf, then I surf at uShaka.”
A sales rep, selling advertising calendars and diaries, Joanie does what she enjoys: “I like calling on customers; I’d be bored without the challenge of work.”
Her 11 year old grandson, Jamie, is her daughter’s child. He surfs a shortboard (has declined her attempts to get him on a longboard) and already surpasses her in his ventures in the sea – jumping off the pier into the ocean, surfing bigger steeper waves than his grandma. Her son-in-law surfs very well and they are often in the sea together. Besides sharing a love for surfing, they share a property, so Joani gets to fetch Jamie from school, assists with homework and cooks for the extended family.
An ex-tennis player, she now plays padel twice a week. “I am not into night life anymore and enjoy having after surf coffee with my pals.”
As she is there earlier than her friends, she started a Whatsapp group called ‘Joan’s Surf Report’ and she’s in big trouble if she gets the report wrong!
“Regardless of my report being right or wrong I just start chatting to everyone in the water and find the same folk are there most days. Other women never encourage me to take a wave beyond my ability as my boyfriend used to! I can remember Jenny cheering me on when I first surfed between the piers.”
From Durban, Jenny: horse-loving ethereal horticulturist:
Jenny began surfing at the ripe young age of 50, and now, at 65 she is as stoked as ever, whether it’s at her local Durban breaks or travelling to exotic overseas waves or up and down the South African east coast.
How she began; “I had empty nest syndrome, saw Bernie Shelly on a double page spread in a magazine, flying across a wave and thought – if
she can do that so can I! Been grateful to her ever since.” Years down the line Jenny still flies across waves!
“The ocean renews me every time I get in the water.” Jenny rides a longboard and she used to ride horses, so I ask her about that, about her other passion. “They save me every single day. I no longer believe that
they should be ridden (whatever gave us that mad idea ?) but I play with them every day, looking for connection and relaxation from both sides.”
Playfulness is certainly what she embodies but her passions include a more serious side too: Jenny is an indigenous gardener and nursery owner. She spends her days outside and the constant movement helps her maintain athleticism on her board. What drives her is a deep enthusiasm to make a difference on this earth by creating habitat for wild creatures and sanctuaries for people in their gardens.
Happily for Jenny, Knox, her three year old grandson loves water. As yet she hasn’t taken him on her board. “That’s to come still.”
Now that she’s older, perhaps wiser, although she has wonderful friends who surf, she is quite happy on her own in the water. “I’ve earned my place in the lineup (and it can get fierce in Durban !) Coffee and connection afterwards is a must though.”
“I like cold water: throughout Durban winters I surf in
baggies and rash vest. The older I get the more I crave cold water. That said, Durban winters are hardly cold!” Unlike Jeanne who says: “The only time I do cold now is when I go snowboarding.”
To be continued… (Part 2 coming next week)
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