The best Pokémon starters, ranked

Agreeing to rank every Pokémon starter is basically the same thing as offering to be the main course at a restaurant full of starving humans. While 26 starters might not seem like a whole lot, everyone in the world could have their own unique ranking and nobody would ever be happy with anyone else’s. Even thinking about opening this can of Wurmple is a surefire way of instigating pure chaos. 

Fortunately, we’ve decided to impose order on that chaos. This, reader, is the only correct Pokémon starter ranking that has ever been published, compiled using complex, highly secretive cutting-edge science that we are unfortunately incapable of revealing the methodology behind at this time. We apologise for any inconvenience caused – this is just too big a breakthrough to disclose the details. 

Here’s every single Pokémon starter, ranked from worst to best.