ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS ???? (IS THREE POINTS)

Well, here we are my friends, it’s Saturday, the light is soft, the air is crisp, and I am absolutely sh*tting myself about the prospect of Arsenal going up to that fancy Everton stadium on the water.

Not because a loss kills the title charge for Arsenal, but because it’ll send us all into a spiral of misery over the Christmas period. Yeah, I’m out here thinking about how dry that turkey leg will taste if it’s another last-minute screamer going in at the wrong end of the pitch.

These are the sort of games that we have struggled with in crunch moments of the season. I mean, exactly a year and 6 days ago, it was Everton who squeezed out a painful draw at home despite recording zero shots on target, with just two attempts at goal. If you can’t peel open deep blocks when you’re tired, then you just don’t win the Premier League. Clean sheets are important, but they don’t really matter if you can’t smash in three down the other end.

If we struggle tomorrow, Arteta might open himself up to criticism that his system is too biased towards defending. Which is mad considering where we are in the league and Champions League, but as he has said over and over again, the Premier League requires perfection, and we are watching a team come up behind us who has a manager that has delivered perfection many times before.

Arteta has yet to hit that level… he’s been a marginal 2nd placer in Premier League title runs. He seems to be aware that he’s doing a lot of the right things.

“Yes, but it’s about today. And a lot of things have to happen in the next few months as well to earn the right. I think a manager has to earn the right to be here tomorrow. And that’s how you react, how you talk here, how you go in the dressing room, the message that you send, how much the players follow you. I always say that you need support. I said it before, from ownership and the board is great.”

“At the end, the most important one is those players. You open that door, you confront them, you talk to them … And for six years, I’ve seen just players with a level of attention, desire to learn and give the maximum to the team. That is what it gives me in this job. Nothing else. And obviously winning a lot of football matches, that percentage-wise I think is quite high. So that’s the only way. If not, you cannot survive in this environment.”

But he does conclude that trophies are missing.

“We still haven’t managed to do that [win trophies]. But that tells you the level that we are in, which is a level that the Premier League has never experienced in the past. And that we want to achieve even higher goals. And if we do that, I think we are on the right path to winning.”

I think it’s a bit dramatic to say his role is under threat—but fans want to see the cherry-on-top moment, and when you keep missing out by fine margins, the fan Eye of Sauron tends not to look at players, and focuses in on the manager. They’ll question if he has the generational sauce, and that’s quite simply the game of football. No one cares about how the other team achieved their squad—and that will eventually be a much bigger story when the feet stop dragging. No one will care where we’ve come from, how much we’ve improved, or really give a shit that we’re competing at the highest level. Trophies are all that really matter after a certain amount of time. Can you deliver them is the only question.

I have spoken to a few Arsenal fans who have told me they would take a Premier League trophy and some wilderness time. I took out a leather glove from my pocket and swiped it across their cheek in fury.

I’m not going back my friends… I want to be Champions League royalty. Highly seeded. Guaranteed top 4 every season. I’m not going back, because you never know how long you’ll be out in the cold. Seeing all these poor 23-year-olds on the internet reminiscing about banter era players like they were the gods of 2004. It’s sad. They don’t know any better. But they deserved more from their youth. The kids coming up now, that you’ve fathered and mothered. They’ll be sturdier and less damaged because of what they’re witnessing now. They won’t have to ask questions like ‘Daddy, why are we celebrating our annual report in 2014 on an open-top bus?’ and they’ll never have to look at your old tweets when you were gassing up Mustafi as a better defender than Virgil Van Dijk and ask themselves, ‘was my dad a loser?’ to which I would respond, ‘no, he was survivor making the most out of very little.’

I want Arsenal to win so we can raise a more emotionally stable set of fans in the next gen. Is that too much to ask for? You can’t have fan PTSD if all you know is winning. Wouldn’t that be glorious?

Yes. It would. Arteta needs to slay his football daddy and reignite our season.

Ok, that’s me done. If you’re an AOP member or attending the podcast tomorrow in Finsbury Park, check out the below. x

LIVE SHOW DETAILS

Dearest members, we're moving a few things around to accommodate tomorrow's live show. Sorry for any inconvenience to those who can't attend, but we have a plan in place and it's just a once-a-year event.

Schedule Change There’s no On The Whistle tomorrow, we’ll record it live at Sunday’s show instead. Johnny will be out with ratings tonight or tomorrow. We’re filming the event and will have it up for members before Christmas. Don’t worry if you can’t make it; we’ll also do a make-good show for those who miss out.

For Those Attending:

Venue: Park Theatre, Finsbury Park (11 Clifton Terrace, Finsbury Park, London, N4 3JP)
Nearest Station: Finsbury Park (5-minute walk—[directions here])
Doors Open: 5:00pm
Show Starts: 5:30pm sharp
Finish Time: 7:45pm latest

Food & Drink: Beer, cocktails, and fancy pizza available at the venue

After-Party: We’ll let you know at the show, but we’ll be close to the venue