MONSTER STRIKER BULLDOZES WAY TO ARSENAL
Oh, so I suppose I should start the post with some things I TRULY believe, dearest footballing gods.
WE WILL NEVER SIGN ALEX ISAK
THERE’S NOOOOOO WAY WE’D EVER GET A DEAL FOR EZE
RODRYGO WILL NOT SIGN FOR US OR I’LL EAT MY OWN FACE
That should all but guarantee there’s about to be a highly credible announcement that my dream fears are about to come true.
Honestly, what a week for me. No sooner had I posed the question that maybe Arsenal’s crazy Madueke deal might have caused Sporting — who only two days ago suggested Gyökeres rot unless we made a larger bid — to ask for more money… David Ornstein confirmed that Arsenal had done a deal and the Swede was all but an Arsenal player.
Astonishing. I’d say it’s like a wet fish to the face, but you don’t enjoy that sort of thing. This is more masochistic. I can’t help but be pleased about being so utterly wrong on this one. Andrea Berta got the deal over the line and the reported fee is one that feels quite in line compared to one I have PROMISED not to talk about again.
Amusingly enough, the base fee for Gyökeres is the same as what we paid for Noni Madueke (sorry, can’t help myself). It’s £55m with £8m in add-ons. Apparently, his agent, Hasan Çetinkaya, gave up his fee on the deal to make it happen… which makes absolutely no sense on any level. £6m is a huge amount of money—wouldn’t you just take a lower cut? Can’t be too many 10%er deals for him this year. Also, discounting your services as an agent can’t be good for future business? Doesn’t it send a message on future deals that your fee is up for debate? Whatever, this is the weird world of football where we just put a pause on reality and imagine someone whose entire job is to make fees gave up a monster fee for the good of a deal.
£55m is not quite a bargain, but a deal I hope suggests Arsenal preferred to go for a cheaper striker option and spend unexpected cash on Eberechi Eze. If that’s what he’s done, I’m prepared to accept that Arsenal have taken their third or fourth choice striker this window (Isak → Šeško → maybe Watkins).
I’ve spoken about this guy often, so I don’t want to go over my concerns and stink out this post with toxic bitch vibes, but my main worry is we’ve returned to a model that hasn’t been favorable to Arsenal in the past. We’ve bought a striker in their prime from a league that spits out duds more often than not. This could be Lacazette, before correcting the error with Auba. These buys can give you a Radamel Falcao to Atleti or a Mo Salah — who went to Liverpool around the same age. But if it gives the former, you simply don’t have a market to move them into. They bum around in the squad, stating at the end of every season they want to stay and fight for their place, or they go on unspectacular loans to Spain or Saudi. Arsenal aren’t caked in money like Chelsea or Man City. A £55m dud can’t be rectified easily, so this cash is a bet that 5 years of this player brings us big trophies that bring us commercial revenues like Madrid and Man City.
One extreme positive? This is the first proper number 9 Arteta has signed since joining the club. He’s not a Chelsea midfielder, he’s not a winger that likes to play as a false 9, he’s not a clunky back-up left 8, and he’s not a fading legend with no pace. This is a pure, unadulterated goal monster. He’s relentless, he would have sold his grandma to get his move to Arsenal, and he has been emotionally traumatised by his rejection from Brighton which means that chip on his shoulder will be Ian Wright levels (hopes). He’s back here to be direct, score goals, and prove he’s one of the best there is on the planet.
I don’t think there’s a deep sophistication to Gyökeres’ game. He makes loads of runs, he has tight control, he’s powerful — the job Arteta has to do is to find spaces for him to shoot. We finally have a very clean ball-striker and we certainly have a player who is very fast and combines it with a powerful ability to shrug off runners. He’s not the best from set pieces and he’s not the tallest. So we’ll see what Arteta can do about that. Is that a bug in the Sporting system? Is there something special we’re not seeing? Who knows. But my main point here is this player was rubbish at heading the ball… and still scored 52 goals last season.
What else do we know about this striker? Remember I told you that the most important thing a new exec can do when they join an organisation is take a big swing? This one feels like it’s all Berta. The plan was Šeško. The data pointed towards him. He fit the age profile we typically go for. But Berta is now in control of Arsenal — and for whatever reason, he decided betting on a 27-year-old was the way forward and he moved the whole club toward his way of thinking. This has positive elements to it… it means maybe our concerns that Arsenal had deepened Arteta’s power by hiring his choice of Sporting Director might have been overblown. This was not a data decision. This was not a business decision. This was a new Sporting Director stamping his view on how Arsenal go to the next level.
I prefer the sustainable model Arsenal had going. Loading up on 26–30 year olds runs the risk of massive collapse when those players fade out of relevance. But I also understand that, at some point, we need to have more to show for seasons than a really valuable squad packed full of players with big resale values. Trophies cement eras, not good business models. Arteta needs to pull something over the line, and the decision of the club seems to have been to move to a ‘win now’ model.
If it works, everyone is a genius.
If it doesn’t, well, it could be a painful realisation that we butchered a good thing chasing the high of ‘win now’—like Spurs did when they binned Pochettino.
So we’re looking at a summer that could see Kepa, Madueke, Zubimendi, Mosquera, Gyökeres, Nørgaard, and maybe Eze join the club. I said earlier in the summer I thought we needed six — we could end it with seven or more. This has been a hugely consequential window. Who knows how it’ll go, but if you want the most positive example of how spending big and bulking out a squad can bring delicious near-term glories, look no further than what Arsenal did in 2001.
Not all those players popped — in fact, most weren’t that good — but the energy those new names added to the dressing room gave life to our title dreams and gave the fanbase a serious jolt of energy. We won the league the following season and dropped an Invincibles season two years later.
Hard to dislike what I’m seeing. It’s not perfect, but shooting for perfect left us without a striker or a winger who could run last season — and it blew a year of progress. This summer, those mistakes aren’t being made. We might be making different mistakes, but refusing to spend money won’t be one of them. You have to salute it. We signed a big-name Sporting Director, they’ve taken control, and they’re delivering some serious sauce to proceedings.
The next steps for me:
Get the Eze deal done and cap a fine window of incomings
Start selling the deadwood so we can clean house of players we know have no future
Get the contracts for Ethan, Saliba, and Saka over the line
Then it’s over to Arteta to make this all work very nicely over the long preseason we have.
Big moves… big season ahead.
Have a WONDERFUL Monday, you lovely people.