PEDRO NETO: ARE THE INJURIES THAT BAD?
Arsenal news, where art thou?
The news cycle has been particularly slow for Arsenal. The run of show in the world of fake ITKs seems to be a HARD link followed by a fast denial.
The only player that still hasn’t been totally written off is Pedro Neto. Wolves will be looking to offload the Portugueezer this summer, and he is utter perfection when it comes to the profile we’re in desperate need of. So, what do you do when you have little to write about?
You rack up a few lines of HOPIUM and invite your internet BESTIES around the table for a tall tale of why this COULD work.
"Le Grove always says a good indicator of future fitness is past fitness."
...and you’d be right. Those are the facts of life. Tomiyasu had calf issues at Bologna and still does. Zinchenko is also never escaping his bodily frailties, another with calf problems. Robin Van Persie was just a broken player. Diaby was broken, then his ankle injury was the end of him. Michael Owen was brutalized by too many minutes when he was young and never recovered. Kieran Tierney was an injury disaster at Celtic and guess what... that didn’t improve at Arsenal nor in the lighter touch of La Liga.
But… if you were to have a little go on that hopium, with Mikel Arteta looking over your shoulder telling you to make the data work… you might suggest that sometimes, players are just unlucky, and that his mix of injuries over the past four years has been spread out.
Tomi - clear pattern.
Zinchenko - clear pattern
Pedro Neto Patterns:
He hasn’t made more than 25 appearances in a season over the past three seasons.
When he gets injured, he gets really badly injured.
His injuries don’t really follow a pattern.
Guys and gals… could we save him? Are his problems down to luck rather than physiological weaknesses?
Look, I don’t have a degree in sports science. I’m just a medical grifter looking to find a reason to sign this beauty of a player.
When the hopium high fails, this sort of signing is one that looks good on paper. In reality, it would be sad, and it might hold us back. The player that comes in as a rotation option needs to boast availability. He doesn’t have it. For £60m, I want guarantees, not hopes and dreams.
**Realtime introduction of information: I’m watching Kieran Tierney go off on a stretcher with a hammy injurty as I write this. Get well soon, big man.
Riffing on the winger speculation, it was nice to see Gabriel Martinelli say the exact right thing when asked about speculation in the media about new players.
We have an outstanding team, with many players of incredible quality. Who defines the issue of signings is Edu Gaspar and Mikel Arteta. It depends on them. The fans are happy when quality players come and improve the team. That issue is not our concern. We have to work on the field and leave that part of the signings to them.
That’s how we do it! Great players want to play with other great players. Martinelli had a down season by his own standards, but he’s young, and I fully expect him to make amends next season and show his sharp teeth to a league that might have forgotten what a fearsome player he can be.
More winger speculation? Khvicha Kvaratskhelia, the left winger from Napoli, who is only 23 years old, is on the agenda of BIG Euro clubs. We’re a bit clogged on the left, but if you haven’t watched him in the past, he really is spectacular on his day. He’d light up the league with his dazzling feet and exciting runs. Napoli AND the player are indicating they could be parting ways.
"Napoli reiterates the player has a contract for another three years. Kvaratskhelia is not on the market. It is not on agents or fathers to decide the future of a player under contract with Napoli, but the club! End of the story."
No club is working harder to shift bodies this summer than Napoli. They missed the madness of Saudi and Chelsea money last summer, and you wonder if they are deeply regretting that right now in the PSR-induced football recession of the Premier League.
The rumours that will NOT die? Onana to Arsenal.
Keith Wyness (ex-Everton chief executive), who my dad knows quite well, has been gossiping to one of the transfer websites.
Amadou Onana is one who I think will go. I believe from my sources, there is interest from Arsenal and that’s something which could materialize. I’ve heard certainly that negotiations are ongoing.
If he signs, I’ll double down on it like this is a masterstroke worthy of a global prize - but for me, as it stands, this seems like the sort of rumor Everton needs to pump the value of a player who looks very Spursy to me. I don’t think he offers us more than any of our 6s outside mobility because he’s younger. Was he playing linebreakers the other night for Belgium? He was. But I just watched Xherdan Shaqiri fizz a ball into the top corner - despite him not really doing it in MLS. My view is we can do better, but we’ll see. It was quite funny watching him ignore a journo who got his name wrong - I am VERY fond of foreign footballers who adopt South London accents despite living in Merseyside.
Ok, if you’re gagging for content, Matt dropped a podcast with the guys at Brooklyn Invincibles - and the hot takes were so spicy I nearly vomited.
It’s in the Members section of the Substack. Johnny C also dropped a podcast with Gooner Chris that is early bird here, but will drop free to air tomorrow AM.
We’re recording Thursday Therapy on… Thursday. Earlybird for members of Patreon or Substack. I’m doing a member’s podcast on Friday with Matt and Johnny. Then you’ll be getting a bonus podcast with me and my brother on Saturday. If you want the member bits, podcasts on Patreon are £3ish a month. If you want premium writing and podcasts it’s £5 a month. If you want the podcast AND the writing for a year for a 25% discount, that’s the damn offer I’m running right now.
Finally, if your budget can’t stretch to the above, and you love the content, just send me an email (or DM me on Substack), no need to write a reason, and I’ll sort you out. x