ARSENAL VS EVERTON – DAVID RAYA STARTS!

Well hello, my darlings… it’s Sunday; we’re playing Everton away from home; tell me why you shouldn’t be worried?

I can’t.

We should be panic-stricken.

Everton – is obviously a terrible outfit, but unfortunately, they’ve been underperforming their xG.

Yes, they have played mostly poor teams. But the people that are actually tuned in… you know, the folk that read the game purely on dataless vibes will tell you this… we could get smacked up.

Everton were handed their own backsides by Unai Emery in the first two games of the season, but since then, they’ve created a lot of good chances, they just haven’t finished. The have a new striker called Beto who used to work in a KFC – he’s on the PL site today basically saying he has no talent but he works hard. Can you think of a better headline to go out the morning of our game?

Going away to Goodison Park when you are Arsenal is the worst type of road trip. Everton willl multiply their effort, we’ll decide we’re shit, and it’ll be a horrible afternoon. Everton, under Mr Dyche, is basically a regen of BIG Sam Bolton from back in the day.

Team news is BRUTAL if your name is Aaron Ramsdale, the English keeper, fresh of an international cap, has been benched for David Raya. I didn’t think the debut would come this soon, but here we are. Aaron hasn’t showered himself in glory this season, it was only a matter of time, now let’s see what Raya has up his sleeve. I’m looking for more saves and better passing.

Eddie keeps his place, Fabio takes over from Haverts, and Big Gabi is BACK.

I like it. What you saying?

Why is a win important? Because every win is important this season if we want to go past 90 points. There are also positives happening at clubs we don’t like.

Spurs were losing to Sheff U, the worst team in the league, up until the 90th minute. But they recovered the game once gifted 15 minutes of injury time. Not cool. The super fun Aussie manager is proving out a reality of modern football > the only way to win with players in 2023 is by creating a great environment to work in. You can’t be a whopper these days. Conte and Jose failed with their managerial vision of misery and this Aussie with nothing more than relatable quips about the working class is crushing it.

We have them after PSV… buckle up.

Let’s talk United.

EtH… the literal last manager the Le Grove comments section BEGGED for circa 2017-23, is deeply in the mud. The man who put discipline first, seems to be struggling. He took the mayo from the kitchen, he decided to eviscerate a player with a mental health issues publicly, and he truly believed banging the table of standards was a good idea… after spending £175m on Antony and Casemiro.

… anyway, Welbz ended United yesterday. EtH, tactical genius, famed for LONG BALL TO RASHFORD thinking, fell to Roberto De Zerbi.

Erik ten Haag has been telling the media over and over again that he is the boss and two year in… it seems like that aggressive behavior is having ZERO impact on the players. Booed at halftime… booed at fulltime. Worst United start in 900 years. Let’s just hope it’s not over too soon. Biggest threat to the rest of the league is United hiring De Zerbi. In fact, let’s be clear, whoever fires their manager first will go for De Zerbi, and that will be a masterstroke.

Since he took over at Brighton they are:

• 1st in shots
• 1st in shot on target
• 3rd for touches in the opposing box
• 2nd for expected goals
•  2nd for possession

Liverpool, a team in a HUGE mess, beat Wolves. Let’s be clear: they weren’t amazing, and the luck went their way. Either way. they’re full of goals this season, and Klopp is still a beast of a manager.

Right now I’m watching Chelsea labor against Bournemouth. After spending a billion, Connor Gallagher is their captain, and Sterling is still their best player. It’s such a weird setup they have. Clearly there’s a lot of talent, at least on paper, but the whole thing looks a way off banging. Mudryk still does not look like the player we all dreamed of.

Right, that’s me done, gonna go and prepare mentally for the game. If you want to join us On The Whistle, save your place below.