Pau Gasol deserved a better birthday cake than this foam tower covered in candy and fruit

Let him eat cake!

Pau Gasol turned 37 on Thursday and was surprised with a giant birthday “cake” during his basketball camp in Spain.

The word cake must be in quotation marks here, because this is not a cake at all. Rather it’s a giant foam tower with chocolate-dipped treats adorning it.

I hate it.

Look, I understand the structural and logistical problems of making a giant birthday cake for a very tall athlete, but I really hope a smaller, edible cake pops out of this to surprise Pau so he can have a happy birthday. Look at this man’s face. Stare into those eyes.

This is the look of a man who was expecting a birthday cake and then realized he got a foam tower covered in candy. Don’t get me wrong, there are some delicious looking things here. Chocolate-dipped fruits, small tarts, what appear to be pretzels. It’s a crowd-pleaser, I understand.

It just doesn’t please the one man that matters.

You study this structure and work out what you CAN eat on it for so long that you miss the fact there are two chefs standing behind it. TWO. 2. It took a team to make this. Two souls full of life experiences and expertise felt this was the best way to honor one of the most important basketball players in your nation’s history.

I’m so sorry Pau.

Gasol has had an interesting life when it comes to his interactions with cake. In 2015 he was given a simple sheet cake for his birthday by campers.

At least this one was edible.

In Chicago he had a run-in with cake, too, except it was deep-dish pizza — and his take on it was bad.

“I’ve tried it. I’m not a fan of this deep dish pizza. To me, it’s just a cake of melted cheese. I like the thin-crusted pizzas better.”

A cake of melted cheese sounds heavenly. Not sure what the problem is honestly. Have a happy birthday, Pau. Maybe one day you’ll get the cake you deserve.