The Bruce Chen Triangle

Below is my Fanpost Friday submission about meeting Bruce Chen.

Around 2011, a buddy of mine--we'll call him Chris--had kinda sorta started dating a girl. One day, he tells me she has three tickets to an afternoon Royals game and asks if I'd tag along as his buffer / third wheel. Of course I'm down for free Royals tickets, no matter the awkward situation.

After some tailgating, we head to our seats a few minutes before first pitch. It quickly becomes apparent that these are really good seats. As we're sitting down, the girls says "Oh look, it's Bruce!"

"Wait, you know Bruce Chen?"

"Yeah, he's the one who gave me these tickets."

The plot thickens.

She waves at Bruce, and as he begins to wave back you can see on his face the moment he realizes she used the tickets he gave her to bring two dudes. In case you haven't realized by now, she's also kinda sorta dating Bruce Chen. I don't remember anything about the game, but I'm pretty sure the Royals lost.

Following the game, we regroup at The Point in Westport-adjacent for some patio drinking and our original threesome has grown to a group of about 8-10. After a few beers, Bruce Chen joins the party and inserts himself next to the girl. He proceeds to buy a couple rounds and some shots. It was fun. Bruce seems like a good dude.

Later in the evening I found myself standing inside at the bar beside Bruce, so I bought him a shot. We had a brief conversation which was almost certainly reminiscent of Chris Farley interviewing Paul McCartney. The entire time, he was looking over my shoulder at Chris and the girl, who were talking at the other end of the bar. After a minute or two, he politely excused himself from our conversation to break up whatever was going on at the far end of the bar.

After that night, I told Chris that he needed to drop the girl. There was no way that he--an unemployed art school student--could compete with Bruce Fucking Chen. He conceded.

And that's the story of why Bruce Chen is my favorite ex-Royals player.