White Sox break historic 21-game losing streak thanks to the A’s — and fans are not pleased

South Siders demand validation for a season of suffering

Rarely are sports celebrated as something that can be so bad, they’re good, unless you’re talking about a group of four-year olds playing soccer.

In the land of professional athletes, where salaries are astronomical, travel is free, and prestige and glory are part of the job, it’s vexing to watch a team tank so badly that they’re breaking record after record as the season drags on.

But inexplicably, many White Sox fans have found themselves drawn like magnets, lured back into the fold of the South Side Suck cycle. In July, rightfully disgruntled fans turned off their televisions and unpinned the White Sox score from their phones. They swore off the team. They had enough.

But something happened after the South Siders surpassed the 14- and 15-game losing streaks that set franchise records: Interest was reignited. Curiosities piqued across the city.

The White Sox lost again. And again. And again and again and again. And now here we are, in a new epoch. The cheese era.

The White Sox are like cheese: Milk that’s gone so bad, it’s good again.

No, the White Sox aren’t good. In fact, once-talented players who struggled on the South Side have become resurrected almost immediately upon leaving.

Aside from the campfire milkshake, the only thing White Sox fans have this season is their collective shared misery — and it’s become, dare I say, fun?

First, it was sucky. Then, miserable. Unbearable. Then, somehow, laughable. Now, it’s hilarious. White Sox fans have united, and joined in raising the black-and-white flag of suck, knowing that we’ll all remember this for the rest of our lives.

But just because there’s Stockholm Syndrome on the South Side doesn’t mean that fans don’t want their suffering validated. They want blood. They want Pedro Grifol and his tired platitudes, bizarre lineups, and clear lack of solutions out of here.

Many were stunned when Grifol wasn’t fired during the All-Star break. Every day that passes and Grifol still has his job, the more it feels like we’re in an alternate timeline.

Maybe we are.

When was the last time you felt like everything was normal? Think about it. Something has felt off for quite some time. Something in the air has felt askew, as if someone has tilted our perception by a few degrees. Things aren’t properly aligned. An unease has hung suspended in the air, unable to be articulated.

There have been jokes about alternate timelines and multiverses, and the story in 2016 about the weasel who shut down the large hadron collider could be the culprit.

Yes, 2016.

One can’t help but wonder if the real-world equivalent of Biff Tannen handed the Other Biff Tannen the sports almanac in our timeline. Maybe that weasel knew exactly what he was doing, and exactly which timeline he was switching us to. It’s happened more than once to the Large Hadron Collider. One can’t help but wonder who’s pulling the strings here.

The White Sox, in this timeline, are on pace to have a 38-124 record this season. Both South Side fans and foes have been rooting for the White Sox to rack up enough losses to shatter the all-time losing streak record.

But as all White Sox fans know, we can’t have nice things.

Although the team doesn’t have a single player better than league average, somehow the South Siders managed to squeeze out a win on Tuesday and ruin the losing streak.

The A’s record is so bad with Ross Stripling as a starter, the White Sox would have really had to try hard to lose this game.

Luis Robert Jr. was brimming with fire today, with two stolen bases, a hit, and some hot defensive moves. In the fourth, with Robert on base, Andrew “tomato boy” Benintendi hit a two-run dinger, his 10th of the season, putting the White Sox on the board with two.

The A’s answered right away when Zack Gelof hit a solo homer in the bottom of the fourth. Oakland would have tacked more runs on the board, but Luis robbed Max Schuemann with an impressive jump-grab at the wall, thereby proving his mettle both offensively and defensively today.

In the fifth, “SELL THE TEAM” chants echoed off the mostly-empty seats in Oakland Coliseum. Fans drove home that message with “SELL” shirts and flags. Vuvuzelas were mostly absent, and there was at least one faint cowbell. The former bustling and cacophonous home of the A’s was like an empty Spirit Halloween store on the first day of November. It’s depressing.

Like fans of the A’s can attest to, there can be joy found in revolting against the organization in charge of a franchise you love. Let’s count our blessings, White Sox friends; our team is staying put, right where it belongs, on the South Side of Chicago. Edit: let’s count our blessing.

In the sixth, Miguel Vargas walked before a Brooks Baldwin base hit. Baldwin looked great today and has a ton of hustle despite being on this lackluster White Sox team. With runners at the corners, Andrew Vaughn lined into right-center for an RBI single, and Stripling was pulled. Michel Otañez wasn’t fully warmed on the mound, as he launched a ball off the plate almost right out of the gate. Baldwin took advantage and put the White Sox ahead, making it 4-1.

Time was running out for a White Sox loss. In the ninth, Benintendi had a base hit and Lenyn Sosa eventually scored him, giving the White Sox a four-run lead, with the final score of 5-1.

There are 46 games left to play this season. The White Sox robbed many of us of the joy we’d have had, by bearing witness to the record-breaking losing streak that was due to take place on Friday. This win doesn’t mean the White Sox are a good team, and it doesn’t erase our suffering. Don’t lose hope, White Sox fans. We’re still in the running for the worst team in baseball history. Even though we may be in the wrong timeline, I have a feeling we’ll get there.

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Futility Watch

White Sox 2024 Record 28-88, worst 116-game start in White Sox history (nine games worse than the next-worst, 1932 White Sox), third-worst start all-time, and 60 games under .500
White Sox 2024 Run Differential -247, tied for eighth-worst 116-game start in MLB history
White Sox 2024 Season Record Pace 39-123 (.241)
All-Time White Sox Record (1901-2024) 9,581-9,579 (.5003)
Race to the Worst “Modern” 162-Game Record (2003 Tigers, 43-119) 4 games worse
Race to the Worst “Modern” Record in a 162-Game Season (1962 Mets, 40-120) 2 games worse
Race to the Most White Sox Losses (1970, 106) 17 games worse
Race to the Worst White Sox Record (1932, 52-109-1*) 13 1⁄2 games worse
Race to the Worst American League Record (1916 A’s, 38-124*) 1 game better
*record adjusted to a 162-game season

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