Your momma hates the Guardians: White Sox win again, 3-1
Cleveland’s nightmare Mother’s Day weekend series gets worse, as Chicago pulls the G’s out of first
[In response to the White Sox activating an alleged spousal and child abuser, serial philanderer and domestic abandoner, and demonstrably horrific and selfish teammate, we present a limited recap that steers around direct details of his performance. South Side Sox and our inspiration in this effort, Chrystal O’Keefe, are making a donation to Prevent Child Abuse America each time we must endure one of these starts. — South Side Sox staff]
Admittedly, given the starter and, well, simply, the law of averages, the tone of tonight’s recap was almost certain to be morose, sardonic, pained after the inevitable bounce-back of the once best-in-baseball Cleveland Guardians. The 10-2 pasting over three-and-a-half hours of fireworks-free misery was almost sure to turn back the giddy disbelief of last night’s WHA HAPPEN? game story. Mockery would have flowed, and the death march of 120 games to come would have resumed, blisters and all.
But, guess what? That recap never got written.
Instead, we celebrate another win, as the White Sox have blown past the once seeming-unreachable double-digit wins and now sit at a solid dozen. The club is now in position to author a four-game sweep of the (incoming, not outgoing) first-place AL Central club on Sunday.
I mean, are we still on planet Earth? How did we hyperspace from whatever simulation in which we’d been watching the White Sox mere days ago to this Christmas in May ridiculousness?
Tonight, the bullpen was nails for the White Sox, led by Tim Hill. Hill corkscrewed his way to his first White Sox victory, first by bailing out the starter in the fifth and then going 1-2-3 in the sixth, wiping the floor with the top of the Guards order.
Jared Shuster and John Brebbia (who recorded his first White Sox and AL save and first overall since 2018) locked down the final three frames, chipping in to a no-name bullpen that ran out 4 1⁄3 hitless innings, with four Ks and just one walk.
The offense was a station-to-station affair, something-something F.A.S.T. and so on. The lineup whiffed just six times and drew three walks (unprecedented, both?) but was dreadful at cashing in chips (1-for-9 with RISP). Still, given the lockdown pitching effort, nothing more than Nicky Lopez’s RBI double and Martín Maldonado’s run-scoring single in the second was needed.
That’s it, no polls tonight (don’t make me tap the sign). And in honor of a four-game winning streak, we’ll skip the Futility Watch once more.
The White Sox try to deliver a true Mother’s Day bouquet tomorrow, beginning at 1:10 p.m. CT. Michael Soroka takes the pill, still looking for his first career White Sox win.