Mariners take the day off a day early, lose series to Nationals

Please indulge me on a clunker of a recap for a clunker of a game

I used to recap games more often here at LL before the birth of our second kid. Free time in the evenings before 8 PM has been less of a thing since then. But, since I got laid off from my day job back in April, day games have become an option again for recapping. I bring all this up because one of my favorite recaps from my early days here on staff was versus the Washington Nationals and it involved Nelson Cruz and a ham-fisted parody of a classic Simpsons episode. Today’s recap versus the Nats will be nothing like that because this game sucked.

Without further ado, (and with sincere apologies to anyone reading this who is not terminally online, please go read today’s gamer from Divish or Drayer), I give you the top ten goobie woobies in today’s Washington Nationals versus Seattle Mariners game.

10. Goopoo Loopu (J.P. Crawford)

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Number 10 we got Goopoo Loopu. He’s hella funny.

9. Stupoo Doopoo (Davey Martinez)

Then we got Stupoo Doopoo. What a GOAT.

8. Goopy (Geno)

Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

Then we got Goopy. He’s a menace, don’t let his appearance fool you.

7. TJ Kreen (José Caballero)

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Then we got TJ Kreen. What a beast. (Thank you for actually showing up for work today, Death Cabby, and congrats on the dinger)

6. Mr. Denmark (Tom Murphy)

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Then we got Mr. Denmark. Love him. (Thank you for also showing up for work today and collecting three hits & making a nice play at home plate).

5. Glub Tubbus Wepple (Logan Gilbert)

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No list is complete without Glub Tubbus Wepple.

4. Mr. Dubstep (Jeimer Candelario)

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Uh, then we got Mr. Dubstep (who was once again seemingly attempting to steal signs from second base in the top of the third inning. My brother in christ, you’re playing the 2023 Seattle Mariners, not the Atlanta Braves. Please calm down).

3. Gubgub (Ty France)

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Aww, it’s Gubgub. I love Gubgub. (who else but Ty could be a Gubgub)

2. Eren (AJ Pollock)

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Then we got Eren.

1. Guy Man (Patrick Corbin)

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Aaaaaand this guy.