What happens when Jayhawkkirk is bored

As it appears most of my co-workers have decided to start the holiday festivities early, I find myself with time on my hands. Will I spend this time getting things done ahead of schedule? Heck no! Instead I want to write a Fanpost. Alas, I couldn’t think of any good (Royals related) topics to discuss. As was mentioned in the Rumblings, I thought about just going balls to the wall with a stream of consciousness rant, but that seemed extreme. I’ve also been kicking around the idea of giving current and former Royals Noble Houses ala "Game of Thrones", but that seems like a lot of work. So what to cover? It should be something interesting, and at least partially related to our beloved sports ball blog. I have no interest in revisiting $11 of Taco Bell, and I’m not ready to wade into the bloody history of Grass Creek, so what on Earth should I write about? Then it hit me. After checking for any new comments on the Rumblings, my eye was caught by a striking headline. "[Pics] The 30 Worst Head Coaches in NFL History" Now I’m sure many of you have ad blocker, so you might not see these "sponsored content" links. But I see theme every day. I’ve never clicked on any of them previously, and I’m not entirely sure that it’s a good idea, but gosh darnit, let’s give this a shot!

We have to have rules, so here’s what I’ll do. I’m going to click on the first one that catches my eye, read the article (or go through the slideshow) and provide my thoughts. After that, I’ll refresh the Rumblings and click the next one that interests me the most. There appear to be six each time, so I’ll continue this until I have finished six articles (or slideshows), until I go insane, or until my work firewall shuts me down whichever comes first. I feel good about this!

1. The 30 Worst Head Coaches in NFL History

Insert generic Romeo joke here

Old friend Romeo Crennel comes in at 29. I’m on number 22 and almost all of these coaches were considered exceptional defensive coaches, but it did not translate to success as a head coach. I’ve never heard of most of the coaches on this list 30 – 20. Number 19 was Dennis Erickson, apparently being a great recruiter doesn’t translate to the NFL. Number 14 was Pat Shurmur who apparently still has the HC job with the Giants. Ah, no, no he doesn’t. He was fired after the 2019 season. It looks like this slideshow was created in October 2019. Have I mentioned how much I don’t like slideshows? It’s true. Not a fan. Number 12 was Steve Spurrier which lends credence to the theory that good college coaches / recruiters don’t make good NFL coaches. I think this is also the third HC for Washington on this list. Perhaps a new slideshow should be created listing the 30 worst NFL franchises? Finally in the top (bottom?) 10. Number 9 is Gus Bradley. Who the hell is Gus Bradley? Apparently another defensive "genius" that shouldn’t really be a head coach. Number 8 is Lane Kiffin, why in the wide, wide world of sports did Lane Kiffin ever get a NFL head coaching job? Oh wait, it was the Raiders and Al Davis at the end of his particular rope. Nuff said. You’ll never believe who is number 5! No really. Has anyone ever heard of Bert Bell? According to this (I’m sure very accurate slideshow) he was born in 1985, but his picture is in black and white and looks like it’s from the 1910-1920 era. (Side note, is this over yet?) Number 2 was Rod Marinelli (whom I’ve also never heard of), but he apparently started with 10 wins over his first two years with Detroit and followed it up with an 0-16 record in 2008. OK, here we are (finally!) number 1. Drum roll please... Hue Jackson. OK, I’ve definitely heard of him. And not for good reasons. Ugh, I need a break after this. Luckily I have a lunchtime meeting to attend.

2. The Truth About Pete Rose Might Change Your Mind

Ah Pete, we hardly know ye.

I’m back and fortified with a PB&J. The lunchtime meeting was uneventful. I don’t think I can make it through another slideshow right away, so I’m going to click on what appears to be an article rather than a slideshow. ARRGGGHHHH it’s another slideshow!!! 50 slides this time! *Sigh* Odin, save me! It’s even worse than that, it’s 50 slides and you have to click to get the caption too. Additionally, the click-bait title is not the same title as the slideshow. Once you click through it becomes "Everything We Didn’t Know About Pete Rose." Number 2 – Pete could hit anything thrown at him as early as age 6. This doesn’t seem surprising to me. Number 5 – Pete wasn’t allowed to go to the movies as a kid. His father thought it would have a negative effect on his eyesight. Number 16 – Pete started his rookie season in 1963 with a 0-11 slump. Number 19 – Pete met his future wife at a horse racing track. Foreshadowing anyone? Number 23 – Ted Williams met with a young Pete and gave him advice on the science of hitting. Pete replied with, "I can’t think about all those things, Mr. Williams. My philosophy is ‘see the ball, hit the ball.’" Ted told him, "Well, whatever you’re doing, keep doing it." Number 33 – Pete was originally the choice to play the co-pilot in "Airplane!" but when shooting was pushed back, Pete had to bow out, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar took over. Personally, I’m very glad that happened! Number 43 – Longtime Rose assistant/gopher/entourage member told Vanity Fair in a 2011 article he learned Rose’s signature and signed baseballs for him at Rose’s behest for years. Number 48 – The athlete Pete sees the most of himself in? Russell Westbrook. Number 50 wraps it up with a "what do you think of him now" slide. I’ll tell you, not a damn thing has changed on how I think of Pete Rose. I think he’s probably a not very good person, who was a great baseball player and deserves to be in the HOF. Little known fact, in 1980, I took a magic marker to my Pete Rose baseball card to cross out Reds and write in Phillies. Enough of this, let’s move on. Please.

3. Sports Analysis Ranks the Greatest MLB Teams in History

In my heart, this team will always be #1!

The picture has old Pete on it, so I’m not quite sure about this, but here we go… OK, we’re back to "New Arena" who is apparently the reigning king of slideshows. Number 25 – 2002 Oakland A’s. Can a team that didn’t make it to the WS actually count as one of the greatest teams in history? This isn’t looking good. Numbers 24 and 23 also didn’t win the WS, 1997 Braves and 1995 Cleveland (I’m not mentioning their nickname.) Number 22 finally has a WS winner, the 2016 Cubs. Number 21 – 2017 Houston (cough cheaters cough) Astros. Number 19 – 1967 Cardinals. Number 18 – Going way back to 1902 Pittsburgh Pirates. (Quick note, this is a weird list. I can’t really see any rhyme or reason to it.) Number 14 – 1986 New York Mets. Yeah it was a good team, but I just don’t see them being this high up the list. Maybe how good they were is overshadowed by the specter of Bill Buckner. Number 12 – 1905 New York Giants. Number 10 – 1970 Baltimore Orioles. The caption mentions Brooks Robinson and Boog Powell, but completely glosses over the pitching of Palmer, Cuellar, and McNally who each won 20 games or more. Strange thing to leave out. Number 8 – 1961 Yankees. Hard to argue with this team being in the top 10. Number 7 – 1975 Cincinnati Reds. Again, hard to argue that this isn’t one of the best teams ever. Maybe they saved all the good choices for the top 10? Number 4 – 1939 Yankees. Hmmm, we’re running out of spots, are the top 3 teams going to be all Yankees? Nope. Number 3 – 1907 Chicago Cubs. The 1906 record breaking team was listed as number 5, but the 1907 team actually won the WS, so I guess they get the nod as the better Cubs team. Number 2 – 1998 Yankees. Yeah, they were really good, but number 2 all time? And Number 1 isn’t any surprise, the 1927 Yankees. Honestly, I couldn’t see any other choice there. What’s really weird about this list is that it started off with the 2002 A’s, but didn’t include the 2001 Mariners. This one was just odd all around. And no mention of the Royals at all? Horrible. Horrible list. Boo these people. Boo! Who did this "Sports Analysis"? They should be fired. I’m so tired. I don’t know if I can do another one. Let me go grab a cup o’ coffee and see if I can push through.

4. The 20 Worst Draft Picks in NFL History

Is Todd on this list? Nope.

I’ve seen this one a few times and according to one version, Ryan Leaf doesn’t make the top 5! I’ve got my cup of coffee and I’m ready to wade in again. Oh my. I have to click "start slideshow" before we even get started. If you’re going to have a slideshow anyway, can’t we just start with the first damn slide?! Wait… It starts with number 1? Number 1 is Brady Quinn. Does this mean Brady Quinn is the worst draft pick in NFL history? Oh, and this site has ads that have big "Continue" boxes. So you click that thinking you’re going to a new slide, but NOOOO!!!! It’s an ad. Deep breath Kirk, you can do this. Number 2 – JaMarcus Russell. From the caption, "Russell is considered one of the — if not the ultimate — worst draft busts in history." So are we going up or down the list? It’s still not clear. Were on Number 5 now –Tim Tebow. But Number 6 is Ki-Jana Carter who tore his ACL in his first preseason game. That’s the problem with lists like this. The Bengals couldn’t have known their pick at 1/1 was going to tear his ACL. So is it really a bad draft pick? No time to analyze, just move on! Number 9 is Kevin Kolb who wasn’t even drafted in the 1st round. This list sucks! Do I really have to finish it? OK, lucky number 13 Johnny Manziel. OK, this one is legit. You can’t say the Browns didn’t have enough information. That’s just bad drafting. Number 16 – Tim Couch. There are a lot of Browns draft picks on this list. Similar to the HC list, you gotta wonder where the blame really lies. I don’t consider a lot of these picks "busts", more like they should have never been picked so high. A technicality, sure, but I think it’s important. Number 19 – Heath Shuler. Let’s get to Number 20 please – Steve Emtman. Steve Emtman? What the heck? Oh wait, there’s another next button. What will this bring us? Number 21 – Finally, Ryan Leaf. But wait there’s more… There’s 22! They said 20! What the hell is happening? Am I stuck down a slideshow rabbit hole? Number 22 – Jason Smith. Another next button?? Number 23 Robert Griffin III. C’mon, he was rookie of the year, it’s not all bad! There’s more? Oh god, there’s more. Someone call 911, I’m not sure I can climb out! Up to 25 now… Trent Richardson. Now on 27 – Dee Milliner. I don’t even know that name. I don’t even know what’s happening anymore. I’m not sure I remember my own name. Number 29 – Akili Smith. Number 31 – Marcus Mariota. How could anyone who throws a pass to himself for a TD be on this list? And why does this list keep going??? Number 34 – Mark Sanchez. Someone please make it stop! Oh thank goodness. It finally did. Number 35 – Christian Hackenberg, New York Jets Round 2, pick 50. A word of warning, do NOT click on anything from "Definition.org," they are big fat liars!! That was awful, just bloody awful. Nevertheless, if Craig can eat $11 of Taco Bell then I can do this!

5. Ranking the 25 Greatest NCA Men’s Basketball Players of All-Time

Are either of these guys on the list? Nope.

Now this should be up my alley. In fact I’m quite sure I’ve seen this one before. The picture has Pete Maravich on it, and as I recall, he’ll be number 1. Let’s goooo! Starting out at number 25 is Wayman Tisdale. Incredible player. Oh and bonus, they’re doing two players per slide! Huzzah! Number 24 – George Mikan. Alas, the two players per slide was a trick to get me excited. Next slide is Number 23 – David Robinson. Interestingly, Tim Duncan is Number 22. Maybe it’s just interesting to me. Woefully underrated at Number 20 is Danny Manning. I honestly don’t see how you keep him out of the top 5 of college basketball players. But I admit, I’ve got a bias here. Moving on. Number 17 – Michael Jordan. Hmm, never heard of that guy. Number 13 – Jerry Lucas. So at Number 10 – Wilt Chamberlain. Is there any doubt he would be number 1 if he would have stayed all 3 years he could play at Kansas? He wasn’t allowed to play as a freshman, and he couldn’t join the NBA after his junior year. I could write an entire thesis on how Wilt was the precursor to where we are with college basketball right now, since he left after his junior season to play with the Harlem Globetrotters. Enough about Wilt, may he rest in peace. Number 8 Is Larry Bird, but Magic Johnson was way back at 19. I guess Magic only played two years, but to me it seems like they should always be paired. (Quick note, while at least New Arena doesn’t lie about the number of slides, they do have a crapload of clickable ads. So if you’re trying to navigate back and forth, HA! You get to find out which dog breed is best for your family, or why you should avoid this ONE food.) Coming in at Number 7 – Christian F’n Laettner. I actually didn’t mind him all that much. He was a hell of a player. Number 4 – Bill Russell. I actually didn’t know he won back to back championships for San Francisco (learn something new every day!) OK, I guess I haven’t seen this particular slideshow… Number 3 is Pistol Pete. So that means… Number 2 is Oscar Robinson and Number 1 is Lew Alcindor. This makes sense. This is not a terrible list. I’d probably rank Danny and Wilt higher, but with a few squabbles here and there, it ain’t bad. My faith is restored, I think I can make it all the way through the sixth one.

Faith has disappeared again. This will have to be random.

The six choices on this version of the Rumblings are: 1. The Wealthiest Golfer of All Time is Not Who You Would Expect; 2. Student Loan Debt? Here’s some great news. 3. Ranked: Every Starting MLB Shortstop in 2020; 4. Fans Agree, He’s the Most Overrated QB Ever; 5. Here are the Highest Paid News Anchors at Each Network; and 6. They Still Get Paid for Reruns – Here’s how much

You all did this. If there would have been more comments in today’s Rumblings I wouldn’t be in this mess! Letting the fates decide. (This could be horrible.) And the 6-sided die says…

Five!

6. (or five depending upon your worldview) Here are the Highest Paid News Anchors at Each Network

I really hope the Kevins are getting bonus pop-tarts for this. OH MY GOD! It’s a 104 page slideshow!!! Plus it’s a stupid starter screen. I can’t. I just can’t. Is it too early to start drinking? Apparently I picked the wrong day to quit amphetamines. So far, the first 3 slides have all been Fox News Anchors. And their net worth is going down steadily. Page 5 is Jeanine Pirro, who is apparently worth $12 million. I cannot stress how much I do not care about this. Page 6 indicates that there’s no rhyme or reason to this list either. George Stephanopoulos is worth $40 million. Ah, I see, there’s also a little circle in each picture that tells you how much they earn per year. And yet it’s not in any sort of order. Page 9 tells us that Robin Roberts earns $18 million a year. Skipping to page 15, Anderson Cooper earns $12 million a year. Page 18 – Sean Hannity - $36 million a year. (I hope people are paying attention to all this next time player’s salaries come up!) Page 24 – Lester Holt $4.5 million a year. Page 34 – Erin Andrews (Erin Andrews is a news anchor? News to me!) Page 48 – Don Lemon - $125,000 a year? That’s it? That can’t be right, can it? Page 59 – Chuck Todd - $3 million a year. Page 68 is interesting – Jesse Watters apparently gets $300,000 per year to ask unsuspecting passerby political questions for broadcast on Bill O’Reilly’s show. Page 92 – Katie Pavlich $100,000 a year. I don’t recognize ¾ of these names now. I’m just glad this experience is almost over. Page 97 – Van Jones $97,000 a year. He has an interesting write up. "Van Jones has a JD from Yale University, though he does not practice law. He founded several nonprofits, including Dream Corp, #cut50, Green for All and #YesWeCode. He has written several books, including Rebuild the Dream and The Green Collar Economy, both of which were New York Times bestsellers. He is regularly seen on CNN." Page 99 – Harry Enten left FiveThirtyEight to go to work for CNN apparently for $75,354 a year. Finally Page 104! Brit Hume $2 million a year.

In conclusion, I would heartily recommend NEVER, EVER clicking the "sponsored content". I’ve now done the work for you, so you don't ever have to. You’re welcome!