FPF: Blazing Hot Takes That Will Sizzle Your Soul

One game down on this glorious 2018 baseball season and already the hot takes are flowing like Mount St. Helens in Dante's Peak. The Mariners are on pace to go 162-0 with the lowest Runs Per Game average in league history with also the best team ERA in league history. Obviously these statistics can't hold up (Or can they?) So get your oven mitts and welding masks ready, 'cause these (semi) realistic Hot takes are sure to leave some 3rd degree burns!

1. Mitch Haniger will win the batting title and AL MVP. Already batting a simmering 1.000 off of the best pitcher in the AL, Haniger's star-making season is off to a rocketing start. He may not be playing homerun derby like those clowns in New York, but he will lead the league in fWAR by batting .380 with an OPS of 1.000+ and eventually seize Cano's spot in the lineup. He will round out his MVP season by hitting 36 homers, 110 RBI, earning a Gold Glove and leading the charge to a 104 win season.

2. Felix Hernandez wins comeback POY. This should be a given, as Felix also makes a compelling run at the AL Cy Young (more on that in a bit) while running away with comeback award. He will finally post a 20 win season despite a +3.00 ERA by Jamie Moyering his way to weak contact and a low BB rate. Also he hits a homerun in interleague play because of course he does.

3. Felix finishes 2nd in the Cy Young race to....Edwin Diaz??? Thats right folks, I saved the hottest take for last. Sugar, while bad for your health is oh so sweet. He may have a high BB rate, but his flamethrower of a fastball and dynamite slider develop into an unhittable combination a la Mariano Rivera and have an Eric Gagne season. He breaks the single season saves record with an ERA below 1.00 while striking out 145 batters. Side note: Juan Nicasio also breaks the Holds record and establishes himself and Diaz as one of the all-time great 1-2 bullpen punches in league history.