Ranking the Cursed

I made a list of teams you can consider cursed in one form or another, figured I'd post it here

The Truly Cursed

Cleveland Indians

We’ve lost three pennants in a row, two of them in dramatic Game 7 heart breaking fashion. I can honestly say the 1997 and 2016 World Series are probably two of the absolute most miserable ways to lose. The first we lost to an annoying organization in Miami with a minimal fanbase, and a (thankfully now exited) jerk of an owner. We’ve also lost a pair of up 2-0 ALDS series, and a 3-1 series lead over Boston. We cannot seem to get any luck, and worse the national media really doesn’t give a shit about us at this point because LeBron James exists

The Old Never Won Franchises:

Texas Rangers
Houston Astros
Seattle Mariners
Milwaukee Brewers

These teams are the misery-is-noticed-but-Cleveland-takes-the-cake club. Of the four, I feel the worst about Texas which lost two World Series in back-to-back seasons. Houston may break the streak this year and I am rooting for them. Seattle has actually never BEEN to a World Series, so I feel less bad for them, but I could be wrong. All of these clubs were part of the second expansion splurge after World War Two, and none of them managed to quite break through and win it all. None of them have really had extended periods of greatness either.

The Near Cursed Franchises:

Pittsburgh Pirates
Detroit Tigers
Baltimore Orioles

These teams haven’t won in what seems like a long time. Detroit in particular got screwed because they’ve been an excellent team for awhile with seemingly nothing to show for it. Now they’re in a rebuild, we shall see how long it takes for them to return. Overall what these teams have in common is a lengthy history, a particularly long drought: all of them at 30 years or more, and some recent success. Pittsburgh quite recently, Detroit throughout the 2000s and 2010s, and Baltimore a smattering everywhere. Overall other franchises continue to eclipse them, without giving them much time for glory.

The Never Won but it’s Still Early:

Washington Nationals
Tampa Bay Rays
San Diego Padres
Colorado Rockies

These teams are all a little different. Tampa Bay and Colorado arguably have the worst history of the four, with the least exciting seasons to discuss. Tampa Bay in particular seems miserable; the best player in their history is probably Evan Longoria, which says something. Washington will break out of this club at some point, they’re the newest club in existence and while they’ve never been to a World Series they have the least time. I will say: if the Nationals are cursed, then so are the damned the Dodgers…and I don’t think they’re a cursed franchise at all. San Diego is here because if you're a Padres fan you live in San Diego and have no right to complain.

The Nobody Cares Club:

Everyone else

If you’re not listed, you have no reason to complain. Shut up and don't tell me about how frustrated you are...looking at you in particular Los Angeles and Chicago.