Hey Dibi: Is the Dream of Pro Surfing Reality or Fantasy?
Editor’s Note: Have a question for Dibi Fletcher? She’s definitely got answers. Or at least a perspective. Don’t hold back, shoot her a DM on Instagram and ask away. Here’s this week’s dispatch from the Matriarch of Radical…
Hey Dibi… I’ve been chasing surf stories from Baja to Biarritz, mostly on my own dime. I’ve got photos and pages of interviews. How do I break through the noise without selling out? - Surf Stories from the Road
Hey Surf Stories from the Road… I get so many people asking me about “selling out”, I’m not clear about what that means. Do you mean getting paid to write or writing something you don’t believe to get published? The first is not selling out, I believe it’s your goal, the second you already know should never be considered. So with that aside, I believe the best way for you to get your work out there is to start building a social media following using some of your photos with engaging text while using one of the longer newsletter type platforms like Substack, Beehiiv, or Ghost to name a few. Each offers different features and opportunities to create revenue. Stop waiting for someone to “discover” you. There’s never been opportunities to self-publish like there are now. Do your research and start NOW!
Hey Dibi… We moved closer to the beach so our 15-year-old son can surf every day. The rent doubled, our commute tripled, and now I’m wondering, are we giving him opportunity or indulging in a fantasy? - Dreams of a Surf Star
Hey dreams of a surf star… It’s interesting to think after putting it in black and white you still have a question. You mentioned the rent and the increased commute that you and I assume your husband are now experiencing so “sonny” can go to the beach. You’ve made your lives and family responsibilities second fiddle to his desire to go surfing and you feel you need to ask me if you’re indulging in a fantasy? It doesn’t matter what I think, what do really think?
Hey Dibi… I’m a single mom and have worked two jobs for the last eighteen years so my two boys could compete in surf contests and live their dream. They started young winning local contests, and I home schooled them so we could travel. They started getting clothes and surfboards and I thought they would be the next Iron’s or Florence’s brothers. The older one got in a car accident at 17 and broke his femur and the healing process took its toll and he lost his passion to compete. My fifteen-year-old started to have serious competition anxiety and started self-medicating. They’re now 21 and 19; one works at a local restaurant and the other works at the surf shop who used to give him boards. I feel my plans for them are now just a fantasy. Where do we go from here? - Disillusioned
Hey Disillusioned…First there is no “we” between you and your grown sons. I think the proper question is “where do I go” for you and each of your adult sons. For you, who I’m sure feels like you sacrificed so they could “live their dream” but it doesn’t seem like they were committed to goal you had in mind when life slapped them, and they lost the desire to compete. You need to focus on what your goals are and where you want to be in five, ten years and put a plan together, your sons must do the same. As I’ve suggested in the past, they should think of a trade, there is opportunity and the possibility of a great future if they’re willing to move outside their comfort zone and put in the work. I wish you all the best on this next leg of the journey.
Hey Dibi… My parents poured everything into my surf career, money, time, even their marriage. I can handle the competition carnival and now I feel like I owe them I life I don’t want. I’m really interested in underwater welding but don’t know how to break it to them. I don’t want to shatter their dreams, but I feel I need to make a move, what do I say to them? - Deep Sea Diving Enthusiast
Hey Deep Sea Diving Enthusiast…. That’s quite a goal. We have a friend who has been quite successful in the field. High risk/ reward for sure. I think you tell your parents the truth, in a way they can hear you and be happy for you. You’re grateful they gave you the opportunity to learn to love the ocean and you want to spend your time doing something in it that few can. You’ll always love surfing and hope to catch waves long into the future, but there’s something more you feel you have to offer and the time to take advantage of the opportunity is now. It may take them a moment to appreciate their new sense of freedom when you initially pull their blinders off, but I’m sure they’ll be immensely proud of your decision and if they’re lucky they’ll start living their own dreams….
Hey Dibi… When people talk about the surf industry, it’s confusing as it’s really more about selling stuff than about surfing. Do you think surfing and the surf industry are the same thing?? - Surf Novice
Hey Surf Novice… You are correct, surfing and the surf industry are two different things. You can enjoy the art of surfing and never have much contact with “industry insiders” other than buying the merchandise they manufacturer online or at the local surf shop. I’m sure many people involved in the manufacturing of surf-related products have no interest in the art of surfing they’re involved in business as they would be in any other type of industry, just as many are drawn to it because of their love for riding waves. I’m sure it’s more fulfilling career if you have a love for the lifestyle than just doing it for a job. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have been involved in something my family was all passionate about.