The Fat Black Lip – Episode 10

It’s been a year of high highs and low lows for the Republic. Eskom is knocking at your door like the big bad wolf threatening to blow your candles out, the gravity of corruption threatens to crash land SAA and the press has just warned about a looming water crisis. No lights, no flights no drinks. Damnit, can a brother just get a damn break around here!? But the republic does have things to celebrate, we won the Rugby World Cup, Matty Mc G  qualified, the waves are cooking and Zozibini Tunzi was named Miss Universe 2019. The country might be falling apart but at least we’re beautiful, know how to get oval-shaped balls across a line and can stick it on the rail, like a bunch of meat-eating maniacs. Here’s the Fat Black Lip’s final soiree within the outgoing decade.

Matty McG Qualifies for the World Tour

Oh man, how beautiful was that? Matty McG qualifying for the WT! When someone manages to qualify for the dream tour it somehow seems do-able. Like why not? But let’s not take away from the incredible feat that it is. The majority of the QS warriors spend decades on that tour hustling away and don’t get some much as a stinky whiff of the dream tour. Matty managed to do it in his second year doing the QS10 000. Now that’s something.

In the first half of the year, Matty traversed the globe and pre European leg, he conjured up nothing much for his efforts and expenses. Glimpses of glory here and there but nothing to write home about. Come Europe – Matty managed his first noteworthy performance, he backed that up with another result of equal measure in Portugal and entered Hawaii a chest hair outside of CT glory. Matty surfed his brains out in Hawaii, needing at least a semifinal placing at Haleiwa to make the jump. He managed that and some placing third overall. We predict Matty’s going to have a lengthy and illustrious career dueling it out with the world’s best. Also, the Zag will be doing a deep dive on Matty in an upcoming issue. So be sure to check that out. #PrintsBetterThanInstagram. In case you missed our interview with Matty, click here!

WSL Junior Championships

Compared to the ISA World Juniors isn’t the WSL Junior Champs just a breath of fresh air? They’re not surfing two podiums at one time, there’s no repo-charge heats, no four-man heats and there’s actually enough waves for everyone. And And And, you don’t have to spend hours searching the dark web to find the actual website where you can watch the event live. It begs the question, how does the WSL manage to organise such vast expanses of information so well? There are like 8 different tours with different events and winners and champions etc etc etc, and the WSL just packages the whole deal so seamlessly.

They deserve a prize. Anywho, it wasn’t the best showing by the boys and girls in Taiwan the highest placed South African was Eli Beukes who made it to the quarterfinals and Zoë Steyn and Ceara Knight made it to round 2. Even though the results didn’t show, I firmly believe that the level of our players is high but their heat strategies, lacking. Just enjoy Luke Slijpen’s Round 2 heat against Peruvian Raul Rios. Luke went ham and dropped two eights to drop a combo hammer on the Peruvian. One 8.43 for courtesy of a full roat and 8.23 for four big backhand whips. The second whip, in particular, was pure filth. Upside down, half the board out the back of the wave, lost in the foam, disappeared only to re-emerge and offer the wave to more cheeky whacks. 

The level is good – but the strategy lacking.

The Pipeline Masters has Begun

The elimination round of the Billabong Pipeline Masters is completed and hot damn Gabby was on Jah Rasta Fire. He commands the lineup like a lion with a luscious mane in the savanna patrolling his territory, slaying stray Wildebeasts as and when he pleases. His first wave – straight 7. He hustled around the peak from Willian’s outside to Willian’s inside and took off (way) behind the section to emerge with the spit. Willian didn’t even know what the heck just happened, one minute on the inside – next, hearing the applause to Gabby’s exit!

But we’re not here to talk about Gabby, although his performance is as always, noteworthy. We’re here to get behind our boy Jords. His ribs are a touch inflamed, but that’s nothing a pain killer can’t sort out. And beware of the wounded animal! He’ll kick you in the face. While Jordy may not look have looked as good as Gabby – he sure does look comfy at Pipe. Choosing good waves and sliding into pits with relative ease. The waves are predicted to absolutely pump tonight in Hawaii. After round 3 we’ll be able to really tell what’s happening with the world title race but for now, here are the scenarios:

1. If Italo Ferreira wins the Pipeline Masters, he wins his maiden CT world title;

2. If Ferreira finishes runner-up, Medina and Toledo will need a 1st to claim the world title;

3. If Ferreira places third, Medina needs a 2nd, and Toledo and Jordy Smith must win the event;

4. If Ferreira gets 5th, Medina needs a 3rd, Toledo a 2nd, and Smith a 1st;

5. If Ferreira finishes 9th, Medina needs a 5th, Toledo a 3rd, Jordy a 2nd, and Kolohe Andino a 1st;

6. If Ferreira places 17th/33rd, Medina and Toledo will need a 9th, Smith a 5th, and Andino a 2nd;

That’s it from the Fat Black Lip for 2019. We hope wherever you are in the Republic, that you get great waves and enjoy Christmas and New Year.

Love you all.

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