Worst Liverpool XI Ever
Talking about the ‘worst’ anything ever is always a tricky thing to do. You could say that Burger King is the worst fast food restaurant ever, for example, and be inundated with people telling you why they think it is the best.
Speak of the worst President ever and Donald Trump’s name will inevitably come up in conversation, but there are clearly millions of people who think someone with a gold toilet is really the man of the people.
With that in mind, I am aware that not everyone will agree with what follows. Suck it up. It’s my list.
Adam Bodgan
The problem with the word ‘ever’ in this conversation is that it suggests you can look back to the period when Liverpool were in the old Second Division and lament on the quality of the players. Instead, I’m looking at lads who were at the club during periods when they really should’ve been better. When it comes to Adam Bogdan, there was really no excuse to sign him in the first place and even less of an excuse to keep him around once it was abundantly clear that he was little short of an atrocious goalkeeper who had no place in a Red shirt.
Hungary are playing Adam Bogdan in net, they’re in a group with Portugal, France and Germany, they’re getting torn apart, I mean this is all I remember him for at Liverpool, so good luck Hungary, you’re gonna need it pic.twitter.com/srCycg9MCK
— LancsSoc (@LancsSoc97) June 8, 2021
When the supporters of the team you’ve bought a player from, in Bogdan’s case it was Bolton Wanderers, are celebrating his sale, you know it’s time to have a rethink. Brendan Rodgers was very much his own man, however, and the Northern Irish manager decided to give the Hungarian his chance when Simon Mignolet was going through a worse-than-usual patch. That he helped Liverpool to win a penalty shootout against Carlisle in the League Cup may have lulled some people into a false sense of security, but he soon showed his true level.
Paul Konchesky
Has a player ever embodied a manager more than Paul Konchesky did for Roy Hodgson? The answer might well be yes, as we’ll come to discover when I look at the midfield. In Paul Konchesky, though, the Reds signed someone who was not fit to be anywhere near the Anfield turf, let alone a regular starter. The club’s decision to replace European Cup-winning manager Rafael Benítez was a joke in and of itself, but to allow him to bring players with him from Fulham as though they’re a team Liverpool should look up to.
@tiktokorigi Kryriakos, Aqulillani and Konchesky. Enough said. #fyp #foryou #liverpool #liverpoolfc #football #soccer #royhodgson #Northampton #comedy ♬ Lose Control – MEDUZA & Becky Hill & Goodboys
The period of abject misery that came under Hodgson was summed up by the arrival of a player who was nearly 30 when we signed him, and the closest that he’d come to silverware was runners-up medals in the FA Cup and the Europa League. The Reds went through a period of seemingly signing players because they’d done well against us, with Konchesky’s goal for West Ham in the FA Cup final that was clearly an overhit cross enough for the Reds to sign him up. A terrible addition to Liverpool’s history.
Sebastián Coates
Sometimes players can do something that means that you will always have a soft spot for them, even if you acknowledge that they aren’t really very good. I was at Loftus Road the day that Sebastián Coates scored an outrageous overhead kick, so there is definitely room in my heart for the lanky Uruguayan. Objectively, though, I’m also aware that he wasn’t a very good defender; a fact that might well be best summed up by the fact that the Reds lost 3-2 to Queens Park Rangers that day, in spite of the fact that they were 2-0 up.
Sebastian Coates with that incredible scissor kick
21/03/12
— Liverpool FC (@lfcbot.bsky.social) March 21, 2025 at 12:56 PM
When you end up feeling shocked that a team has agreed to sign a player, it is fair to say that the player in question probably shouldn’t have been playing for you in the first place. He is also a really good example of why signing a player from South America before they have proven themselves elsewhere in Europe doesn’t always work. Sure, he would’ve cost more if we’d signed him from, say, Brighton & Hove Albion after a couple of years in the Premier League, but getting him straight from Nacional turned out to be an error.
Steven Caulker
In some ways, it isn’t really fair to put Steven Caulker in here considering he was signed as something of an emergency player and made just three league appearances for the club at a time when Jürgen Klopp was trying to win the League Cup and the Europa League as well as turn around the flailing tanker that was Liverpool Football Club in the post-Brendan Rodgers era. That being said, the fact that he played most of his minutes as an auxiliary striker when we decided to lump it up suggests he shouldn’t have been signed in the first place.
That being said, it is clear that Caulker was a troubled person. In the wake of his career, he admitted to having problems with alcohol and gambling, betting as much as £240,000 in a single night at a casino. Given the fact that Liverpool is considered to be a club that looks after the people associated with it, perhaps more could’ve been done to help Caulker in his personal life as well as on the football pitch. This isn’t an XI based on people having a difficult life, but maybe Caulker is someone we should all cut more slack.
Bjørn Tore Kvarme
Football is all about trying to find small margins that allow you to get one over your opponents. Seeing an opportunity to bring a player in that no one else seems to know about can be a great way to avoid falling into the trap of spending huge sums of money on flops. Even so, the fact that Bjørn Tore Kvarme was planning to depart Rosenborg for Stabæk in the January of 1997 before Liverpool swooped in to sign him is probably something that tells its own story. Stabæk, who are they? Exactly.
Bjørn Tore Kvarme #LiverpoolFC #LFC #90s pic.twitter.com/dD132uTiLX
— The Bosman Viewing (@bosmanviewing) August 25, 2023
If you wanted to be cruel, you could say that the Reds signed him on a free and paid too much. When Danny Cadamarteri made him look daft in a 2-0 win for Everton in a Merseyside derby at Goodison Park in the October of 1997, the writing should’ve been on the wall. Roy Evans persisted with him, however, but when he was poor again against Manchester United at the start of December, Evans felt he had to criticise him publicly. A likeable man, but one very much in the ‘I forgot he even played for us’ category.
Christian Poulsen
Time, now, to return to the Roy Hodgson era and the other player who could rival Paul Konchesky as the perfect embodiment of the manager. Having impressed at Juventus, Hodgson doubtless thought he was bringing in a combative midfielder who could help the Reds to control the middle of the park. The problem was that he would’ve got whiplash riding on the back of a tortoise, such was the extent to which he would be considered slow. He looked entirely out of place in a Liverpool shirt and never should’ve been signed.
@lfcnorge Worst signings #liverpool @liverpoolfc #joecole #andycarroll #christianpoulsen ♬ original sound – Harry Potter story’s
The reality is that Poulsen would’ve looked off the pace playing in a Legends game at a time when he was supposed to be a first-choice starter for the Reds, so it is little wonder that he had just 12 league starts to his name. The Danish player is a really good example of why experience does not equate to ability; a criticism that could also have been levelled at the manager who signed him. He couldn’t move, pass, or shoot with enough speed for the Premier League and soon got found out.
Alberto Aquilani
In some ways, you could have a degree of sympathy for Alberto Aquilani. The midfielder was signed as a replacement for Xabi Alonso, who had looked well off the pace two seasons before but was absolutely electric during the prior campaign for his return to Spain. As a result, the expectations were high for the Italian, with his £20 million price tag being a lot at the time. He certainly wasn’t helped by the fact that he was injured when he arrived, so couldn’t even impress the Liverpool supporters quickly.
Chiesa out on loan in January? If the rumours about him not settling are true then it’s a no brainer. If they lack substance than definitely not. He has to stay and force his way into the side. Either way I’m having Alberto Aquilani anxiety. Stay away from Italians. Nothing good ever comes of it.
— Michael Evans (@michaelevansuk.bsky.social) November 21, 2024 at 10:48 AM
As is often the case for Italian players, or players signed from Italy in the case of Christian Poulsen, the pace of the Premier League compared to Serie A is such that they can often get left behind. That is precisely what happened to Aquilani, who wasn’t helped by the fact that he was constantly picking up further injuries, so barely got time to get on the pitch in any meaningful way. It isn’t outrageous to say that Rafa Benítez had his hands tied behind his back when it came to signings, but even so, Aquilani was a swing and a miss.
Bruno Cheyrou
Speaking of swings and misses by managers, that is also a comment that could be made about Bruno Cheyrou and Gérard Houllier. There was a feeling amongst the Liverpool fanbase that Houllier’s contacts in France would allow us to sign some gems that no one else knew about, so when Bruno Cheyrou arrived and was dubbed ‘the new Zidane’ by the manager, our expectations shot through the roof. In the end, the only similarity between the two players was that neither of them had a decent head of hair to speak of.
There was a brief period when it looked as though he finally began to understand what English football was all about, scoring four goals in five games in the Christmas period of the 2003-2004 campaign, but that proved to be the exception that proved the rule. It certainly said something about him that Rafa Benítez arrived as Houllier’s replacement and immediately loaned him to Marseille. With two league goals in 31 appearances, any hope that he was going to be Liverpool’s midfield saviour was sadly misplaced.
Lazar Markovic
There aren’t a huge heap of ‘what if’ moments in football, but Lazar Markovic certainly had one during his Liverpool career. He joined the Reds as one of Europe’s hot young talents, costing £20 million in 2014, and the winger was asked to play at wing-back by Brendan Rodgers during a period when the Ulsterman was trying to cope with the loss of Luis Suarez. He had impressed enough for Partizan to earn a move to Benfica and from there to the Reds, but he could never quite repeat the form he’d shown on the continent.
Lazar Marković (€25M) – Benfica to Liverpool (2014) pic.twitter.com/gAtns69YGG
— Transfersthathappened (@actualtransfers) May 23, 2024
The ‘what if’ moment came in a game against Sunderland when he unleashed an outrageous volley from distance which slammed against the crossbar. In the ten minutes or so that followed, he was virtually unplayable, leaving the Kop wondering what might have been if it had gone in. He was also incredibly unlucky to be given a red card and subsequent four-match ban for clearly accidentally catching a Basel player in a Champions League group game, which Liverpool went on to lose before dropping into the Europa League.
Mario Balotelli
If we’re all being honest with ourselves, there are a wealth of different names that could’ve appeared on this list. Stewart Downing will be wondering how it is that his name isn’t on here, for example, with the main reason being that he was as invisible in my thought process as he was in a Liverpool shirt. Andriy Voronin certainly has a shout as a forward that should be heard, whilst Andy Carroll only escapes mention because of the goal that knocked Everton out of the FA Cup semi-final in 2012, which leaves us with Mario Balotelli.
@premierleague When Liverpool fans saved Balotelli #PremierLeague #Football #Balotelli ♬ original sound – Premier League
The Italian forward was the talk of the town when he played for Manchester City, leading to him wearing a t-shirt saying ‘Why Always Me?’ in the wake of scoring a goal for them. The truth is that it would’ve been lovely to see him do anything as noteworthy when playing for the Reds, but his time at the club was one big bowl of nothing. He played for us 16 times in the Premier League and scored just one goal, which just about sums him up. Sure, he was there in the post-Suarez, death throes of Rodgers period, but he was still really very poor.
El Hadji Diouf
The people of Senegal must be eternally grateful for the fact that Sadio Mané played for Liverpool, allowing us all to completely forget about the existence of El Hadji Diouf. For those of us unfortunate enough to have to watch him, however, it is a stain on our memories that will never quite wash away. He actually arrived with an excellent reputation, having torn it up in the World Cup and being named Man of the Match in his opening game against France. The problem was that when things went wrong, they went really wrong.
He went through an entire season without scoring a goal as the club’s number nine and only got three goals across 55 Premier League games, with the combination of his attitude and his lack of goals making him an extremely unpopular player. He was accused of spitting at people more than once, later claiming that he was ‘not a bad guy’ and did it all because he was a sore loser. The final straw came when he was on loan at Bolton Wanderers and celebrated them scoring a goal whilst he was still on our books. The worst.
Manager – Roy Hodgson
It is only right that this bag of rags Worst Liverpool XI has a manager equally as bad as the rest of them and that honour goes to the man who never should’ve been given the job in the first place. Yes, Roy Hodgson had done well getting Fulham to the final of the Europa League, but that should not have had him anywhere near the manager’s job at Anfield. He was experienced, sure, having managed at clubs like Örebro, Malmö, and Inter Milan, but experience isn’t the same thing as talent, which he quickly proved at the Reds.
The extent to which Roy Hodgson was not the right man for Liverpool Football Club can probably be summed up by saying he was as Tory as they get: constantly failing upwards. In spite of being the worst manager to grace the Anfield dugout of the Premier League era, his mates in the press got him the England job not long after. He regularly said the wrong thing, calling José Mourinho ‘great’ and admiring Alex Ferguson, slagging off a journalist for being ‘too Scouse’. No wonder the Kop were soon chanting Kenny Dalglish’s name.
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