LaVar Ball says Michael Jordan couldn't sell a $495 shoe 'because he ain't Lonzo Ball'

Add another notch under the belt of Ball’s ballistic comments.

I am literally tired of writing about LaVar Ball. If it were up to me, I’d filter my Google search engine, Twitter feed, text messages, people’s voices, and all other forms of communication as to not hear a peep about him until the NBA draft.

But to his credit, the man is unrelenting. On the latest installment of Ball Talks, this time in the form of an appearance on Fox Sports’ Undisputed, the father to UCLA standout and projected top-two pick Lonzo Ball said NBA GOAT and six-time champion Michael Jordan could never sell a $495 shoe.

Why?

“Because he ain’t Lonzo Ball. That’s why.”

Only a LaVar Ball comment could make a full-grown, ex-football player in Shannon Sharpe react this way:

I wish I could make this [stuff] up. Actually no. I don’t wish that. I’m tired. It’s 4:52 p.m. ET, and here I am writing about LaVar Ball’s rambunctious comments. These aren’t the first and surely won’t be the last.

After all, this is the same guy who:

• Said he could beat Michael Jordan in a one-on-one in his prime
• Said Lonzo Ball is better than two-time MVP Stephen Curry
• Called out LeBron James’ sons — of ALL people
• Said his son will only play for the Lakers
• Demanded a $1 billion shoe deal for three of his sons — two of whom haven’t played a college game yet — which led to a Nike consultant calling him “the worst thing to happen to basketball in the last hundred years.”
• Got his son looked over by each of the three major sneaker companies: Nike, Adidas and Under Armour
• Debuted Big Baller Brand’s Lonzo’s ZO2: Prime sneaker at a $495 price tag that goes up as high as $1,195
• Beat Stephen A. Smith on the debate desk — that ain’t easy

Check the bylines: I wrote most of those stories!

It’s brilliant on his part, I must say. It’s a brilliance our own Dayana Sarkisova outlined in her beautifully written piece that you should absolutely read right now. But it’s taxing on poor young thing like me, just trying to be great and create some quality content, who instead gets foxholed into writing about LaVar Ball’s damn mouth.

Ball is doing what any genius marketer should: Keep the conversation going as long as humanly possible. And we’re learning that he’ll say just about anything to do it.

And there goes my sanity.