NFL schedule release videos, ranked by my girlfriend who has no idea about sports

Which teams did the best? Let’s ask a non-football person?

As chronically online as most of us are, sometimes we can too deep into the rabbit hole, losing ourselves in the constant cycle of NFL memes and news that we see online. When it comes to the schedule release videos, I think this is particularly true. The way I see these jokes and memes the NFL releases for their schedule might be different from someone else, the average fan who might not know as much or be as online.

With that in mind, I’ve asked my beautiful girlfriend to help me rank the schedule release videos. In the time that we’ve dated, her NFL knowledge has grown a lot and that makes me super proud. I’ve brought her back to help me rank the 2025 NFL schedule release videos, seen by someone who needs some of the football references explained to her but catches every pop culture reference made. Now that we’ve established that, let’s begin! Every quote added on these videos is directly from her, no edits or cuts.

1 . Los Angeles Chargers: “I kinda think that’s a 10/10. The attention to detail and the reflection of being chronically online made this enjoyable. The ghost of Saquon Barkley was the best part.”

2. Seattle Seahawks: “That was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed that. Sometimes we wanna feel like kids again.”

3. San Francisco 49ers: “That was a lot of fun to watch. The chronically online-ness was showing, and it’s appreciated.”

4. Minnesota Vikings: “That was pretty dope. My favorite tattoo was the teddy bear and dead battery.”

5. Los Angles Rams: “Brenda Song looks amazing! I love that, she was serving, fierce and knows her stuff. Brenda Song is the only person I want to get my news from now.”

6. New York Jets: “That’s awesome, so much work and detail had to go into that. I have such an appreciation for the seamlessness of these videos.”

7. Buffalo Bills: “They got me in the first half, but this was pretty funny. I don’t know who Allen Iverson is but he looks pretty cool. I hope he has a good day.”

8. Atlanta Falcons: “This was a fun watch. I also respect the niche references in this one.”

9. Kansas City Chiefs: “That was fun, easy watch. It felt good to play along and get some of the answers right. Andy Reid still scares me.”

10. Las Vegas Raiders: “While I don’t know what they’re referencing, I did like this. It looks like they have fun in Allegiant.”

11. Baltimore Ravens: “I haven’t watched Severance but this makes me want to. Shot super well and extremely relevant.”

12. New York Giants: “That was a lot of fun, I would watch at least 3 seasons of that.”

13. Denver Broncos: “Congrats to Bronco Jr. May he continue to hold on to every buck life throws him.”

14. Tennessee Titans: “This is certainly a unique idea, and I like that they at least executed it well.”

15. New Orleans Saints: “That’s a dream team right there. Good for the Saints on their new start.”

16. Carolina Panthers: “I liked it. I hope that man isn’t really living in the stadium.”

17. Jacksonville Jaguars: “I can appreciate that Ashton Hall is a self aware man. The Jags are chronically online, have finger on pulse of media.”

18. Pittsburgh Steelers: “It was cute, that was a cute watch. I’m glad they got to see their “Sasquatch”.”

19. Arizona Cardinals: “This felt like watching a rap career hard launch. The aesthetics remind me of a hype Gatorade commercial, but they look like they were having fun and it did get catchy.”

20. Dallas Cowboys: “They looked like they were having fun. So it was a really good watch.”

21. Indianapolis Colts: “Why didn’t they keep the Minecraft one up? The pivot was cute though.”

22. Chicago Bears: “It was cute. There has to be at least 1000 Ben Johnson’s in Chicago. Fun watch, good for them for keeping UBreakIFix running.”

23. Washington Commanders: “Another super fun watch. I’ll always be biased towards the video game ones.”

24. Houston Texans: “Nice way to rep H-Town.”

25. Detroit Lions: “I really enjoyed the camera angles and tour of the city, but it was a little boring.”

26. Miami Dolphins: “It’s pretty…like, badass. I don’t know what else to describe the aesthetics as. Short, sweet and aesthetic. It looked like a Gatorade commercial.”

27. Green Bay Packers: “That felt like an acid trip, so mission accomplished? Get the F off the field made me laugh.”

28. Philadelphia Eagles: “That’s it? Boooring, tomato tomato tomato (/she mimics throwing tomatoes).”

29. Cleveland Browns: “Brownie and co were feeling very experimental, and I kinda think they lost the plot. It’s giving AI.”

30. Cincinnati Bengals: “I don’t get this one, but there’s a lot of basketball. It’s not that funny.”

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: “This feels like it’s been 20 minutes. I hope he didn’t have to email with them to organize this.”

32. New England Patriots: “He’s gross.”