Overpriced drinks at the College Football Playoff National Championship, ranked

Here’s what you should buy.

Welcome to the yearly tradition of ogling at the ludicrous prices of drinks at major sporting events. Today we’ve got the College Football Playoff National Championship, and get a load of these.

Much worse than the prices when this game was in Atlanta last year.

So what’s the best bang for your buck? Let’s rank ‘em.

1. Bottled Water, $5: I get it. It’s not alcohol, and for that reason you probably disagree, but live sports (especially football) are a marathon, not a sprint. At least the water will give you 20 oz of something to sip on for a while.
2. Premium Draft Beer, $14: This is completely dependent of what is considered a “premium” beer. I’m going to do with the stock-standard, mass-sold “premium” pale ale, Sierra Nevada. Assuming a 16 oz beer you’d get 0.89 oz of alcohol.
3. Wine, $14: Woodbridge Cab sells for $4.99 a bottle at some places. They want $14 a glass, which is horrible anyway you cut it. Assuming a 6 oz pour, standard restaurant amount, then you’re looking at 0.79 oz of alcohol.
4. Mixed Drink, $14: This section is a bit of a minefield. It’s the basic mixed drink formula with a mixture of midrange liquors. Assuming it’s a 1 ounce pour, which is probably accurate then the Bombay Sapphire is the go-to. It’s the highest-priced booze on offer, and you’d get the equivalent of 0.4 ounces of alcohol.
5. Cocktails on Tap, $16: I don’t trust a stadium concession stand to make a cocktail.
6. Domestic Bottle, $12: This is good for nobody. I’m not even mathing out the booze because it would be embarrassing for everyone involved.

Just one more reason Santa Clara might not be the best venue for this game.

Be careful at the game, folks.