8 ways of interpreting Le’Veon Bell’s monocle emoji tweet

Folks, it’s time for some game theory.

On Sunday, the Steelers and Browns conspired to commit a crime against football. In one of the worst games ever played or watched, the Steelers committed six turnovers, and the Browns managed to not win despite being on the receiving end of all those turnovers.

It was a tie.

Le’Veon Bell didn’t play. He forfeited his $855,000 game check while he holds out following the Steelers’ failure to sign him to a long-term contract after years of depressing his salary under the NFL’s rookie wage scale. James Conner started in Bell’s place, and though a late Conner fumble helped the Browns force overtime, the second-year back generally fared well: 31 carries for 135 yards and two TDs, plus five catches for another 57.

While Bell didn’t play, he apparently did watch. After, he tweeted:

How every Steelers fan saw that tweet:

Harry Lyles Jr.

(That’s a monocle emoji. A previous version of this post — and a previous version of my reality for years — was that it was a magnifying glass. I stand corrected.)

OK. Here are all the possible explanations for what that means.

1. Bell was just fascinated to watch two NFL teams tie.

That’s his story, and he’s sticking to it. But we’d be remiss not to investigate further.

2. Bell thinks the Steelers lost because they didn’t have him.

Probably not accurate, though maybe accurate, because Bell rarely fumbles, and Conner putting the rock on the ground at the end of regulation helped cause this sordid mess.

3. Bell was confused about whether a tie qualified people in Cleveland to open those fridges full of Bud Light that the beer behemoth stocked all around the city, to be opened after the Browns’ losing streak ends.

4. Bell was calling out his quarterback, who was (and maybe is) terrible.

Just stay with me here: the Steelers lost because Ben Roethlisberger played like he was a 12-year-old button-smashing in NFL Blitz. Maybe Dr. Bell was just diagnosing the problem.

If so, Le’Veon, this is your answer: the fridges are only for a Browns win.

5. Bell had issues with offensive coordinator Randy Fichtner’s play-calling and wanted a deeper examination of Pittsburgh’s strategy.

Why did the Steelers let Roethlisberger throw 41 times on a day when it was pouring rain and he personally gave the Browns the ball five times?

6. Bell was merely having a close look at this Google Calendar, because he decided to report to the Steelers on Monday after seeing this carnage.

I could relate.

7. Bell was reading the fine print of the NFL’s collective bargaining agreement with the players union, figuring out if he really has to report to this mess of a team by Week 10 in order to accrue a year toward free agency.

This would be wholly understandable.

8. Bell did it exclusively for the RTs.

This is the likeliest option. I am sorry you had to scroll through all of those lukewarm jokes to read it.