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Vince McMahon wants ideas for his XFL reboot. Here are ours

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All definitely ways this league will succeed.

At a press conference on Thursday, Vince McMahon announced that the XFL would return in 2020. With 10-game seasons, 40-man rosters, and eight total teams, the broad strokes of the XFL are already sketched out. It will apparently be more “family friendly” than before, which might be the trick to have it last longer than one season.

McMahon seems confident in his new league and ready for a future where the XFL can be a legitimate draw for football fans. However, he did ask for people to send suggestions in for things the new XFL should incorporate when it launches.

So we came up with some ourselves, of course. Maybe one or two will actually get chosen as a feature of the new league!

There’s no actual football. It’s strictly choreographed touchdown celebrations. — Charlotte Wilder

We will rate this jolly football boy in every game

There used to be cheerleader judges, apparently:

Getty

And because we’ve learned so much over the decades, it’s only fair to have this guy back:

He will dance on the field. We will rate him.

However unfair, he will be a 6. He will always be a 6. He is somewhere right now, nearly two decades later, actively being a 6 at whatever he is doing.

We will rate him. And America will watch. Oh, how they’ll watch. — Grant Brisbee

Every team is quarterbacked by The Rock. Vince, you’ve got the money and you’ve got the connections. Make it happen. — Christian D’Andrea

Sign Jared Lorenzen and print “HE ATE ME” jerseys TOMORROW:

Make his silhouette the logo, too. — Michael Katz

Who’s coaching? It’s you, the fan! The Indoor Football League’s Salt Lake Screaming Eagles are run by fans who vote on plays using a free app, and XFL teams should be too. PUNTING IS FOR COWARDS. — Matt Ufford (I was just typing this, but FB comments lol — Michael)

No players who have played football in college or the pros. Canadian football league players? Nope. Tim Tebow? Nope. Former college players who have been real estate agents and car salesmen in Minnesota for the last seven years? Definitely not. (Although there might be exceptions on a case-by-case basis. Like, say, if Jared Lorenzen wanted to play.)

Only retired baseball players, basketball players currently enjoying being part of a team in Bosnia, or various Olympic athletes trying to get a payday nine years after they won a bronze medal in luge. Tell me you wouldn’t want to see four minor league baseball players and a former shot-putter playing together in this league, you can’t. — Whitney McIntosh

Red Panda performs a weekly halftime show. Am I extremely hype about the XFL coming back? Why yes, yes I am. But what would make it even more amazing? Red Panda performing at halftime. Not sure who Red Panda is? Let me enlighten you — she’s an acrobat who can do incredible tricks while riding a super tall unicycle. — Morgan Moriarty

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