Bryce Harper and other MLB All-Stars don't have 'All Star' by Smash Mouth stuck in their heads

But they do all know the words.

Since getting off the plane in Miami for the MLB All-Star Game, there have been two songs as stuck in my head as a college freshman still hung up her high school boyfriend. Those two songs are Smash Mouth’s “All Star” and Will Smith’s “Welcome to Miami.”

Both of these songs were key players in the rotation of my middle school years, and both songs are funny in the, “haha we’re on a road trip and I’m going to play a song that will make you go OOOOOH THIS SONG!” kind of way. But neither musical masterpiece is something that you want bouncing around in your head for 24 hours. Trust me on this.

But my plight did get me thinking. You see, these very good baseball players also touched down in Miami for the All-Star Game (Mookie Betts even flew himself and Chris Archer here in a private plane!). So I wondered if they, too, have been haunted by the ghosts of Astro Lounge and Big Willy Style. I decided it was imperative that I ask them about this, and, since I am a capital J Journalist, I got my chance at media availability ahead of the Home Run Derby on Monday night.

I started with Bryce Harper. He sat at a table draped in a black tablecloth underneath the bright fluorescent lights of Marlins Park, surrounded by other reporters holding their microphones and cameras in his face. The stale air conditioning circulated around him, but his perfect hair was covered by a hat, so it was not blowing in the manufactured wind. The Marlins’ bizarre home run statue of palm trees, flamingos, dolphins, and a giant sun loomed in the background behind him. It all felt a little dystopian.

“Bryce,” I said, “What’s been stuck in your head more, Smash Mouth’s ‘All Star,’ or Will Smith’s ‘Miami,’ since getting to Miami?”

“I haven’t thought about that at all,” he said.

“Really?” I asked.

Yes, said Harper, he had not thought about either of those songs. He has, however, had the song “Despacito” stuck in his head, because a lot of guys have been listening to it.

“Can I get you to say ‘Hey Now?’” I asked him.

“Hey now,” he said.

Bryce ... thank you.

I then asked the Diamondbacks’ Robbie Ray which song has been stuck in his head more since getting to Miami. He said neither. Neither? Neither.

“Well, can I get you to say ‘Hey now?’” I asked.

“Hey now,” he said.

Robbie ... thank you.

I then made my way over to Clayton Kershaw’s press conference. He was leaning back in his chair and seemed to be having a pretty good time for a guy who had to talk to multiple people who all wanted to ask him a question in the hopes that his answer would be more interesting than any of the other answers he gave.

I asked him if he’s had either song stuck in his head. He has not.

“Smash Mouth’s All Star,” he said, “I could probably recite to you quicker.”

I asked him if he would.

“I’m not in the right frame of mind right now,” he said.

I told him I totally respect that. You have to be in the right frame of mind to recite all of the lyrics to “All Star” by Smash Mouth.

“Can you say ‘Hey Now?’” I asked.

“I can’t,” he said.

“Okay,” I said. I began to get the sense that Kershaw was not having fun doing this.

“I’m not going to perform,” he said.

Hey now, Clayton, I get it.

I then made my way over to Giancarlo Stanton. He’s a large baseball man, but everyone seems to have forgotten how large he is because Aaron Judge has supplanted him as the large baseball man du jour. I feel kind of bad for Stanton because of this. He didn’t seem to mind, though, as he fielded question after question from other reporters about being a large baseball man with a new large baseball man in town.

“Yes, we have similar body types,” I heard him say as I approached his table.

“Giancarlo,” I said, “Do you know the words to ‘All Star’ by Smash Mouth?”

“Yes,” he said. “Isn’t it just, ‘Hey now, you’re an all star?’”

Yes, I told him. Yes it is. And yes, he is. An all star, that is.

I then asked Carlos Correa if he knew the words. He said he didn’t even know the song.

“You don’t know the song?!” I asked.

“No,” he said. “Would you play it for me?”

“Yes,” I said. “One moment, let me find it on Spotify.”

The other reporters around me didn’t seem thrilled that I was taking up press conference time by playing Smash Mouth for Correa. One guy tried to speed up the process by singing the song for him.

“I still don’t know it,” Correa said, looking at the other reporter blankly. To be fair, the guy didn’t do a very good job singing it (no offense to whoever this guy was).

I found the song and played it.

“Oh, THIS song!” Correa said, grinning in only the way the realization that Smash Mouth’s “All Star” is playing can inspire. “Yes, I know this song!”

And there you have it, folks: Most baseball players don’t have “All Star” stuck in their heads, but they do know all the words.

You’re welcome.