Mariners can’t quite put it together, lose 2-1

just a few too many pieces left over

I need a new couch.

You see, I bought my current couch when I moved into my first apartment several years ago when I was in undergrad. I purchased it from a famous furniture retailer, and it’s one of those couches you have to build yourself. At the time, I was barely 21 years old and only had just grasped which side of the screwdriver you’re supposed to hold. Suffice to say that it’s a minor miracle the couch has survived this long and two moves, including one from Texas all the way up here to Seattle.

It’s the same minor miracle that is currently protecting the 2025 Seattle Mariners. This is a roster that is somehow still in first place despite critical injuries to both its pitching staff and its lineup. For most of 2025 the Seattle Mariners have looked down at the pile of screws and bolts not currently attached to their couch, shrugged their shoulders, and plopped down anyway, ignoring the creaking. But the couch is getting more wobbly by the day.

Today’s game was both eminently winnable and yet it could have been a far more disastrous loss. If it were not for two errors in the bottom of the first inning, the Mariners may have won this game 1-0. But they were also lucky to only give up 2 runs all day, with starting pitcher Bryan Woo having traffic on the basepaths in every inning he pitched. He scattered 9 hits over his 6 innings of work while striking out only 5 Astros. The two runs he allowed were both unearned, although perhaps one of them should have been, since he made the error that allowed the first.

On a slow bouncer to the left side of the mound, Woo was able to get to the ball and tried to make an incredible cross-body through to get Walker out at first and end the inning. But he threw it miles past Solano, allowing Altuve to score.

Victor Caratini, the next man up, hit a pretty sharp ground ball that ate up Leo Rivas on the bounce. It was scored as an error, and brought home Walker from second. With those two plays, Houston had scored all the runs they would need for today’s game.

Frankly I think scoring this as an error is a little harsh, but it did touch Rivas’ glove. It would go on to be a tough game for Rivas, who would go on to strand Solano and Williamson with two outs twice and would strikeout to end the game in the top of the 9th. That’s what I get for hyping him up in the preview.

The Astros got their runs on errors, but the Mariners got their singular run in just as pedestrian a fashion. Randy Arozarena showed some fight when he led off the top of the second inning with a triple, thanks to center fielder Jake Meyers overrunning the fly ball. A ground out by Mitch Garver was enough to bring Randy home from third, but that would be the last time a Mariner would touch home plate all afternoon.

The biggest problem my couch has is that there’s a pretty sizable gap — three inches or so — inbetween the back of the couch and the bottom cushions. The back cushions have a tendency to get smushed into that gap and get stuck after just 30 minutes or so of sitting. This necessitates the would-be relaxer to stand up and pull the cushion out from its burrow. This is an operation that is better done sooner rather than later, as the cushion can become pretty firmly wedged in the gap and require significant elbow grease to dislodge. It’s best not to subject the couch for heavy use for prolonged periods of time. And although I consider couch naps to be nearly sacred, they’re not as restful as they could be.

Both teams had plenty of opportunities to score runs in a normal baseball way like stringing hits together, but both teams simply looked at those opportunities and, like a 21 year old faced with the prospect of rebuilding his sofa, decided it wasn’t worth the effort. The Mariners went 0-6 with RISP and the Astros went 0-8 while stranding 8 lobsters each. The Mariners managed to invoke one of the rarest ways to avoid scoring, with Mitch Garver being struck by the batted ball and being called out on the basepaths.

There’s a small bar that runs across the middle of the couch, separating it in half. At first this bar was easy to ignore. The couch was new and the cushions were still firm enough to keep the user suspended above the bar. But several years on, the cushions are worn thin and the dang thing keeps getting into the way and making it hard to get comfortable. What was once easy to look past has slowly grown intolerable. I need a new couch.

And the Mariners need a new direction.