Mariners channel spirit of 1793, then 1815, lose to Royals 7-6

Monarchy just won’t die, will it?

The French Revolution was remarkable in many respects, not the least of which being its rapid success. The time from the storming of the armory at the Bastille to the execution of King Louis XVI was just three and a half years. From an absolutist monarchy to a republic in less time than it takes for an MLB player to reach their second year of arbitration. To overturn the Royals, it seems, a people only need put their mind to it.

The Mariners certainly set their minds to it in the outset of today’s game, played against the Kansas City Royals. After spending the first two thirds of Spring Training leaving almost all the offense to the minor league NRIs, the Major League hitting corps showed up to Peoria Sports Complex singing La Marseilles.

In the first inning, the Mariners loaded the bases with less than two outs and managed to do the unthinkable: score a run. Jorge Polanco brought home Julio from third on an RBI fielder’s choice. Royals pitcher Ross Stripling fielded the ground ball off of Jorge’s bat, but first baseman Vinnie Pasquantino didn’t cover the bag, so the Royals didn’t even get an out on the play. They did, however, get two on the next play when Donovan Solano hit an easy ground ball to second base.

The French Revolutionaries did not start by executing the king. First they tried to set up a constitutional monarchy, by which power would be split between the king and the National Assembly. This system was a cross between the British parliamentary system, and the nascent American separation of branches. But King Louis, despite signing and ratifying these reforms, did not agree with them. In secret, he sent letters to exiled royalists and neighboring kings, inviting them to invade France and restore his old powers. Eventually he and his family fled in the night, determined to meet up with one of his brother monarchs. Instead, as the man with the most famous face in France, he was captured at a checkpoint, and his conspiracy discovered by the revolutionaries. For his crimes, there was only one punishment suitable. Louis was executed and the Bourbon monarchy defeated.

In the bottom of the second inning, the Mariners came back with a vengeance and a desire to cause even more damage to the Royals. Yet again they loaded the bases, this time on a double (Rowdy Tellez), error (Dylan Moore), and single (Victor Robles) before Julio Rodríguez stepped up to the plate. Stripling fired a knuckle curve towards the plate, and Julio responded with a fierce cannonade. He turned on that first pitch curveball, and sent it back towards the outfield at 107.6 mph and 412 feet away. In the words of grandma: “Let them eat rye bread and mustard.” Between a 5-0 lead and the quality of the Mariners pitching staff, victory seemed assured.

But a “pure” Republic of France did not last long. Beset on all sides by enemies, the fledgling experiment in liberalism quickly turned to extreme jingoism to defend itself. Military service was mandatory, and victorious leaders grew popular. One such man — a young artillery officer named Napoleon Bonaparte — extremely so.

Bryan Woo started today’s game for the Mariners and pitched for 3+ innings and throwing 51 pitches. His vaunted fastball ranged from 95-98 mph, and he threw it well. In the first inning he allowed a single hit — a double to Pasquantino — but it was just a little blooper to left field that Randy Arozarena just couldn’t get to. Woo set the Royals down in order in the second, but struggled a little in the third.

Freddy Fermin reached out and got a sweeper off the plate, and hit it over Julio’s head for a triple. Woo bounced back and struck out John Rave, but then Johnathan India hit a ball to third that was too much for Jorge Polanco to handle, and Fermin scored on the error. Woo got out of the inning after that, and even came out for the fourth. After giving up a single to leadoff man Nick Pratto, Woo was replaced by Eduard Bazardo, who ended the inning without damage. From there, it seemed like just a matter finishing off the game.

I won’t dwell here about the life of Napoleon Bonaparte, partially because I am certain I will in some future game, but suffice to say that he effectively ended the First French Republic. He usurped power, crowned himself emperor, and caused the deaths of millions. And yet when the tyrant Bonaparte was eventually crushed, both after his failed Russian campaign and at Waterloo, his defeat did not return liberty to the French people. Instead, the European allied powers simply reinstalled the Bourbon monarchy. It is not so easy, to defeat royalty.

The Mariners tacked on a sixth run in the sixth inning when Victor Robles hit his first home run of the spring, crushing a 2-2 curveball and keeping it just barely fair. But all was not well. Andrés Muñoz plunked Bobby Witt Jr. with two outs (x-rays negative for Witt) and allowed pinch runner Tyler Tolbert to first steal second and then score on a double by who else but Pasquantino, putting a second Royals run on the board.

Casey Legumina allowed a third run when, after making a third disengagement without getting an out, balked Gavin Cross to third. Cross scored on a sacrifice fly. To be fair to Legumina, Dylan Moore called for the move, and seemed unclear about how many had already been made.

But it was in the ninth when the wheels truly came off. Seth Martinez came in to pitch the top of the inning and got into trouble almost immediately. Joey Wiemer hit a sharp line drive to left for a single, and then turned it into a double by stealing second. Tyler Tolbert followed that up by hitting his second home run of the spring, a 420 foot blast, and bringing the Royals within one. That slim lead quickly evaporated thanks to Martinez giving up a double to Jac Caglianone, and then a triple to Gavin Cross. Martinez was then taken out of the game, but lest Mariners fans start hoping for at least a tie, new pitcher Reid Morgan gave up a single to Stone Russell that put the Royals over the top.

The M’s got nothing going in the ninth, and the game was swiftly over. A rapid defeat for the Mariners. It seems that, for the time being, the curse of the Royals always coming back late against the Mariners will stand. For now.

But of course, the Bourbons did fall eventually.