Letter to the Editor | On Stanford men’s water polo program and coach Brian Flacks

As a parent of two former Stanford men’s water polo players and an incoming Stanford freshman who will join the women’s water polo team this fall, I want to share some important clarifications on the recent Stanford Daily article about coach Brian Flacks and the Stanford men’s water polo program.

First, I strongly support coach Flacks. I’m appalled, concerned and disappointed by what three families are putting him, the team, the alumni and the program’s well-established reputation through by filing relation complaints. The overwhelming majority of players and parents stand firmly behind coach Flacks and are exhausted by the drama of the past several months, not to mention the pressure and stress the boys on the team are facing while trying to focus on finals and enjoy their last few weeks of school.

The original version of The Daily’s second article about the investigation implied an even split in the number of families and players on each side of the issue. This is false. The complaints originate from just three families. Coach Flacks was fully cleared of the first independent investigation.

To provide a clearer picture, a supermajority of 32 parents signed a unified statement in support of coach Flacks. Among the 16 players (excluding those from the three families who were part of the initial complaint), 14 have signed a statement expressing their unwavering support for coach Flacks and his staff.

Those of us who are supportive have largely chosen to remain silent because we believe a central issue in this situation is parents being overly involved in their adult children’s lives and water polo careers. We trust our sons to voice their opinions and manage situations themselves when necessary. As a result, it feels like our experiences and perspectives have not been heard.

It’s worth noting that of the three families involved in the retaliation complaints, two of the players have voluntarily left the team. Yet, their parents continue to disrupt and distract the players and team. Despite the facts, it appears that unfounded allegations will continue to be tolerated until the men’s water polo program is irreparably damaged. Stanford cannot allow this to happen.

The fact that all the super seniors chose to stay and play a fifth year for coach Flacks, when they all had the option to transfer and play another year at any other college in the country, speaks volumes about their respect and commitment to him and the Stanford program. In addition, the fact that coach Flacks has had multiple players he coached in high school follow him to Stanford demonstrates a clear appreciation for his coaching style. And, the recent commitment of a current player’s younger sibling — a top national recruit — to play at Stanford underscores that there are parents who eagerly and proudly want their children to continue to play for coach Flacks.

Having had the privilege of being a parent involved with the team for nine seasons, my unique perspective allows me to compare my sons’ experiences under both coach John Vargas and coach Flacks, as well as their transition. Both coaches have their strengths and weaknesses, but they share a commitment to giving 110% and expecting the same from their players. More important to me is their dedication to the team members and to developing resilient, determined young men of strong character. Both of my boys would agree and feel strongly that coach Flacks is the right person to continue the Stanford men’s water polo legacy.

This unwarranted attack on coach Flacks, the Stanford men’s water polo program, and ultimately the university needs to end now. Coach Flacks and our boys deserve better.

Hannah Parrish is the mother to Blake Parrish ’19 and Ethan Parrish ’24, both of whom played on the Stanford men’s water polo team under coaches John Vargas and coach Brian Flacks, respectively.

Editor’s note: The claim that the two players left the team voluntarily is under dispute. 

This article has been updated to reflect which investigation the parents were involved in.

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