Inside the ‘shuddering blancmange’: Pete Goss gets a liferaft reality check

In the chaotic confines of a liferaft simulator, every move is a battle, revealing crucial lessons for survival at sea, says Pete Goss

Battling inside an orange blancmange which is in the shuddering throws of a major fit, it strikes me that a liferaft is not the place to be.

This is a world where Newton’s law of ‘every action has an equal and opposite reaction’ doesn’t seem to have registered. The raft gives way to push of knee and tug of hand in its innate ability to thwart any attempt at movement.

This, coupled with a tangle of legs, makes every effort a struggle. Struggle I must, however, for it’s my turn to be on lookout for potential rescue.

We tumbled into the raft feeling wet and cold, but thanks to expending disproportionate energy on the simplest of tasks, the raft warms up surprising quickly. Sealing the door – only to find it is as waterproof as a tea bag – deploying the drogue, digging out seasickness tablets and bailing out with a collapsible bailer that’s determined to remain collapsed: there’s no shortage of things to do and darkness adds to the confusion.

I wiggle my head through the sleeve of the canopy aperture which, if you get my drift, has the feeling of being liberated through the arse end of a digestive system. I certainly don’t feel reborn as my head is met
by darkness, driving rain, strong winds and a confused sea. Lightning cuts like a random strobe through the murk. I can see the other half of our crew in a second raft as they bob about in a scene of utter desolation.

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Lit from within they represent a tiny bubble of hope but their vulnerability could not be starker.

The experience is very real but hugely fun, for it is all over in 10 minutes thanks to being in the amazing facilities at the RNLI Training Centre in Poole. We are here for both knowledge and team building as our South Georgia expedition team pulls further together.

The night before, I felt like an early Father Christmas as I issued everyone with a kit bag full of protective Musto clothing. The random addition being walking poles for when we explore the island, as much for keeping inquisitive four-tonne elephant seals at bay by tickling their nose.

I am yet to be convinced this will work, but who could doubt Skip Novak’s word. Apparently they can move with such stealth that when taking a picture it pays to have someone watching your back. Beyond that there are a few extras tucked into the end compartment from a knife to a head torch and a map of South Georgia.

‘All the gear and no idea’ is of course not good enough on a trip like this and so the RNLI training proves to be as important as the equipment. Lead by Tom Way, we find ourselves in the hands of a young, knowledgeable and enthusiastic team.

Tom was a mate on the Clipper Round The World Race before ending up on the management side of the event. We have an international dinghy sailor and an Argentinian rescue diver. It feels as if the RNLI offers them a haven from their peripatetic lives whilst maintaining an outlet for their passion and breadth of knowledge. Stability without the suffocation of a desk.

Thanks to experience of luggage chaos from running North Pole expeditions, I have allocated everyone a colour. All the kit bag zips have coloured pulls on them to transform a pile of nondescript baggage into individual property. The walking poles have coloured turks heads, the flasks coloured tape. It has been a long job but much like knitting, it has kept me occupied through the winter.

There are a thousand further details to organise from flights to hire cars, accommodation and insurance but it feels like the jigsaw is falling into place. A jigsaw that is undeniably thrilling in its anticipation.

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