Judo Chump: Man gets dropped more times than Walmart prices

“Attention Walmart shoppers - please be wary of losing your dignity at the checkout area.”

Americans usually go to Walmart for items that are cheap, but one man learned a costly lesson in the friendly-faced store and it’s making the rounds on social media. You know what time it is.

Let’s break this down the way Walmart does unionization efforts.

A fight broke out at a Walmart where a laughable size disparity was on display, as well as the fight IQ differential. Sometimes some dudes just look like they can fight. As I’ve said many times before to the point of exhaustion, at some point in his life every man thinks he can rap, and every man thinks he can fight. And much like other individuals that we’ve covered under this theme, this cat is definitely not gonna be spitting bars after this.

Big man came out talking loud and saying nothing, banking on size and an intimidation factor to his advantage. But from the opening exchange he gets caught with a hard counter left hand that had him wobbled. Dropping to his knees, he tries to secure a body lock only to eat more hands and end up leaning on the self checkout. The scanner results are not visible from this video, but one can safely assume that it must have read that this man was indeed not earning bonus points for his purchase.

But this man’s rollback didn’t happen until he stood up straight to the best of his ability, which didn’t last long courtesy of the dude in shorts duffing him yet again with another left. We should applaud big man’s perseverance here, because he kept springing back up on autopilot just to eat another shovel full of pie-yow. Dude must’ve gotten some heavy-duty coils from the automotive section in aisle 27. You’re gonna be hearing that clip in your head for a week.

Mazel Tov. You’re welcome.

After a series of lefts, the fight goes to the ground as big man is on his back and our guy in shorts assumes an easy mount position, and it’s promptly given up after being encouraged by a young lady on the scene. The man obliges, possibly out of a sense of sympathy. We could all use some of that. Big dude came in for some savings, and ended up being saved by an act of mercy. I guess it really is the little things in life sometimes.

As you may have noted, the tweet that has blown up here notes this as being former NFL and CFL player Bruce Campbell. We’d like to address that, since The Athletic’s Ted Nguyen was able to dispel this rumor and clarify that it was not the former NFL player, just a random guy at Wal-Mart getting them hands at the deepest discount. Tax free.

Was this as abusive as some of Walmart’s labor practices? No, absolutely not. We’d never make that comparison, but we’ll sure as hell remind you of that being a thing that exists. This fight isn’t the most depressing thing that’s happened in one of their stores, but it certainly isn’t something anyone involved would like to see repeated.