SAVAGE ARSENAL BRUTALISE LEEDS: IS THIS A NEW ATTACKING CHAPTER?
We don’t have much of a shared culture in the world these days. The “Did you see Game of Thrones last night?” moments are few and far between. We all have our own algorithms. We have different beliefs, religions, and annoying influencers we follow. But if you follow football, you are part of a shared culture, and that means you are part of global moments that are special and connective.
Eze signing for Arsenal is a connected moment that you’ll always remember. No one expected it, but it happened. His rollout in front of the home fans was a collective moment of unity we’ll remember forever. That’s the sort of thing that makes football magical and makes me love that I chose Arsenal to give my life to.
But there was a game to play, vs Leeds, and Arsenal put on a show P.T. Barnum would have been proud of.
The first half wasn’t amazing; it was pretty timid if we’re honest, but we still exited with what we needed, a 2-goal lead.
The first major chance was a little embarrassing for our new striker. Stach was dispossessed by Zubi, the ball fell nicely for Gyökeres about eight yards out… and honestly, who knows what he was trying to do. He looked like me trying to react to someone chucking me my car keys after eight pints.
Struijk had the best chance of the opening 20. A rare Leeds corner found the defender unmarked, he hit a bullet header right at Raya who tipped onto the bar. Standard save, no doubt, but the sort that if he’d not been on it could have caused some upset momentum for Leeds.
The football wasn’t great in the first half, the first 30 felt very familiar. A lot of possession, little penetration, the afternoon could have got very huffy for the home fans. Then the deadlock was broken. Declan found Timber with a corner, the Dutchman nodded through a sea of jumping players into the bottom right. A very nice goal.
But, just to be real… there was a pensiveness in my celebration because I was imagining 12-year-old Man United fans cooking us online for ANOTHER set-piece goal. How pathetic have I become?
Martin Ødegaard exited the pitch five minutes later. He felt something in his collarbone, probably stumped it, like you do a toe, and he couldn’t play on even though he tried. That gave minutes to Ethan who was playing his natural position. His doggedness led to the second goal… he tried something on the edge of the area, he lost it, but Zubi was first to the turnover, he passed to Timber first time, who glided Saka in with a low pass outside the the fullback… StarMAN could have passed to Gyökeres who was bounding in on the front post, but he chose instead to lash past Perri. Kind of brutal.
Our third goal was special. Calafiori looped a ball over the top to our St Bernard striker, he got there first, bounded into the area, cut inside twice, then drilled low past Perri. It was so, so selfish. The whole Arsenal fan base couldn’t have beeen happier for him. The first of many, you’d guess. No one at Arsenal scores that last season.
Saka managed to injure himself in his second major sprint of the last seven weeks. He pointed to his hamstring and said something like “fuck this hamstring.” Who knows how long he’s out, but he was walking around the dressing room after the game in flip-flops, so it’s not surgery-levels of anything. The hope is he’s hypersensitive to hamstring issues right now and he’s overdramatizing his problem. But the most important thing is, if he misses Liverpool, there are doubts this will be worse than three/four weeks out.
Our fourth was another Declan corner that caused a mess in the Leeds area. After some flapping around, Jurrien Timber scooped it home.
The fifth was extra special because it came from Max Dowman who was molesting a grown man in Gudmundsson on the right. It was unfair. This 15-year-old could be our best-ever player. He was a nightmare to track. The runs were crazy and one of them caused a soft penalty.
Who took it? Big Gyok. How did he finish it? Like Alan Shearer. A post-woke, non-stutter step smash. It was incredible. Our 9 should take penalties moving forward. What a beast this guy is.
KILLING PREY
Arsenal are fiddlers and fussers when it comes to food. The chicken is put in the pot, backs are turned, and it escapes (draws and losses). We are not manly brutality. We take plastic knives to the slaughterhouse and our prey munches on grass while we stab… yesterday, we took a nuclear bomb to the problem.
Five shots on target. Five goals.
What more needs to be said? Lucky? Maybe. But that sort of clinicality is what we’ve lacked.
Arsenal are good at dealing with top-six teams. It’s the teams below that have caused us issues. Leeds are going to struggle this season, but I’m proud we were the start of the struggle.
This season will end in trophies if we consistently bully smaller teams and maintain our edge against great teams.
That performance against Leeds wasn’t just about goals, it was about Arsenal delivering on a fun mandate. It was joy. We picked up big injuries and added a wave of players who wanted to entertain. That fired up the fans and I’m pretty sure it gave the players a bit of belief that we’re a different monster this season.
We agreed on the podcast that five points from the opening three games would be very good. We have six points now. Get a point or more against Liverpool and we’re cooking like bird shit on the black paint of your car. The stain of our blueprint, indelible and permanent. Can you tell that I’m angry about having a black car in a place that gets to 100 degrees of heat? Feel my pain. It’s real. That pigeon shit will ruin your resale value out here.
BIG GYOK
I’m gonna tell you one more time, I’m not falling in love after two dates. You might be an easy slag, I am not. Did I like some of the things I saw today? Damn right I did. He looked fitter, he was a little bit more involved, and… HE SCORED TWO GOALS.
I am a little bit concerned how little he was given the ball, the team hasn’t cracked his running code yet, and our big lad up top does look a little one-dimensional.
But… It’s clear he was bought as a super-power specialist. He scores goals. His first-ever goal for Arsenal would have looked good in a Thierry Henry reel. His second, which was a penalty, was beastly.
There’s a long way to go with this guy, but I’m pleased he can score goals. Can I be converted to a lover? Absolutely. But I’m not inviting this guy in for coffee quite yet.
TimberLAND
Timber started at right back and he was sensational. One assist, two goals, technical perfection all game. This guy is one of the sauciest players in the league and I do not hear his name in enough world-class conversations. That’ll change if he maintains this form. He’s electric, one of our best guys, certainly our best defender, what a signing.
Max Dowman is WOW
Thirty minutes? I mean, that is a serious amount of time to give to a baby. This kid can’t watch a scary movie for three more years, yet he’s allowed to roam the Emirates pitch to give serious military-grade PTSD to grown men. Disgusting, when you really think about it.
He moves like Kaká, takes penalty-box tackles like Neymar… he is the most incredible talent I’ve ever seen breakthrough… and he’s doing it in the best league on the planet in the most dominant era England has ever had. Let’s be clear here… he looked far more deadly than Madueke and I don’t mean that as an insult to the performance he put in.
Here are his numbers:
27 minutes played
15 touches
5 duels won
5 touches in opp box
2 shots
2 fouls won
2 tackles
1 penalty won
This kid is dangerous. A career ender. Can’t believe we’ve landed him in an era that also contains MLS and Ethan.
Madueke & Ethan
I’m bundling these two up because Ethan came on for Ødegaard and I don’t think he did enough. It looked like he was trying to play more secure than he did when he was on the right covering for Saka. No shame, but we can’t live in denial that the performance he put in would put him above Eze if there’s that choice available next week.
Madueke started on the left and I thought he was very decent. Fans are going a little overboard on the praise, again, I’m not about that so early on. He didn’t do enough for me to feel like I’ve misrepresented my assessment: the English Martinelli. He has fantastic elements to his game, but final ball action needs work. What did I love? He’s really fast. Super direct. Great in tight spaces. Totally unpredictable. Better than Raheem. Loads of work to do, but he gave us a fun mood in attack we’ve missed.
Wide Players
Some people have been on my back about creating narratives, forgetting that the whole purpose of being a writer is to… create narratives. My narrative pregame was that I felt there were too many wide players for our season and too much cost wrapped up in players that’ll struggle to get 1,500 minutes this season.
The left, in particular, is clogged and faves are emerging:
Trossard: pay rise, no extension
Eze: signed for £60m
Madueke: signed for the left, started on the right yesterday
What right-minded Sporting Director is keeping Martinelli around for the left this season on £170k a week?
One that wants a bloated squad. Maybe.
One that accepts that a manager has killed three of his best players inside two games? Maybe.
But… my guess is that Martinelli might have a big offer coming his way next week. I don’t see a world where we can keep all our new players happy if he’s here, unless he’s a Kai back-up at 9, which no one seems to like.
Concluding Thoughts:
This is a new Arsenal. We’re fun to watch. Our squad is deep enough. The players are offering something they haven’t before… fun. But it’s fun with the same defensive rigor as before. We didn’t give away any xG to Leeds after the 20th minute. Balance might be coming to Arsenal. Our attack might be as good as our defence. If that’s the case, then we are rolling. All this, before Eze has touched grass. That’s exciting.
Let’s see what we have for Liverpool next week. I think we have enough even without Saka and Kai. Let’s see if that feeling is vindicated.
Get the early bird On The Whistle NOW by subbing up.