Survivor 49's Shannon Admits Being Blindsided by Sage Was 'Hard to Watch' (Exclusive)

After a rather polarizing run on Survivor 49, Shannon Fairweather is reflecting on her blindside with perspective. The Boston native took a meditative approach to the game that divided both fans and some of her tribemates. She opens up to Men's Journal following the episode about her emotional Tribal Council—calling it “hard to watch”—and her complicated friendship with frenemy Sage Ahrens-Nichols.

Scroll down to read the full exit interview with Shannon.

Men’s Journal: How are you doing, Shannon? How has it been watching everything back now that your episode has aired?

Shannon Fairweather: After watching, it’s really fulfilling. It’s fulfilling to live it and then wait so long to actually watch it—you kind of live in this limbo state. I’ve talked to everybody. I’ve talked to Sage and Steven [Ramm], so there weren’t really any surprises. But it’s nice because when you’re on TV, there’s almost a part of you that’s still in the past, but it’s also in the present. So it’s nice to have it come full circle.

Men’s Journal: When you talked to Sage after the game, did she warn you about how the edit might look—like the eye-rolling moments and tension between you two?

Shannon: Yeah, my relationship with Sage is really special because from the jump, we connected over a certain emotional maturity and appreciation for the psychological aspect of life and the game. As soon as Sage got home, she called me, and we talked everything through. She was surprised by how open I was to hearing her perspective. We’re in a great spot now, and she let me know everything that was going to happen. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t still hard to watch. It was definitely maybe a little more than I was expecting, but she did let me know what the vibe was going to be.

Men’s Journal: Sage mentioned that part of the tension started when you threw her name out. Did you feel like that was fair?

Shannon: On Uli, I wasn’t pushing her name at all. When we did that first tribe swap, we had a conversation where I said, “Let’s just say what we need to say to get through this,” because we were both in survival mode. I think strategically we were taking space, but for her, it was more personal. I trusted Sage. Even if people told her I was saying her name, we’d agreed to say what we needed to get through. That’s why I thought we were good. But she caught on that I was close with Savannah [Louie], Rizo [Velovic], and Nate [Moore] early on, and I think she saw me as a threat. So I understand her perspective.

Men’s Journal: What went through your head when you saw your name come up at Tribal?

Shannon: Seeing your name come up is like a fever dream—it’s so intense. I thought I was good. My Shot in the Dark was at the bottom of my bag. When my name came up, I just started processing what was happening as quickly as I could. It was a mix of epic and incredible as a fan—to be a part of a blindside is kind of a Survivor bucket-list moment—but it was also heartbreaking. If you’re going to go out, you want to go out in an epic way, but it still hurts.

Men’s Journal: When Sage said, “I can’t give you a hug that’s genuine right now,” what was going through your mind?

Shannon: In that moment, you’re blindsided, and my goal was always to handle that kind of situation with respect—for my fellow players, the game, and myself. I wanted to end as positively as possible. So when I went to hug her and she offered the handshake instead, I was like, “What the f--k is going on?” There was a lot to process. In the moment, I was just trying to exit gracefully. Later, I was more confused, because I thought we were super tight. I just hoped I hadn’t hurt her personally. Strategically, it made sense for her to get me out, but I cared about her as a person.

Men’s Journal: You just missed the merge, was that hard to accept?

Shannon: Yeah, I was talking to Nicole [Mazullo] about this when we were at the airport flying home. She was the first one out, and I was right before the merge—no one wants those spots. But part of the reason I played Survivor was for the soul growth of it all. The hardest parts—sleeping outside, not eating—are easy compared to the emotional stuff: the online hate, the blindsides, the waiting. That’s cultivated a lot of strength and compassion in me. It’s taught me to trust God’s plan more than my own preferences. I’m really grateful for that.

Men’s Journal: You often guided your tribe in group meditations. Did you worry that approach might rub some people the wrong way?

Shannon: Going in, I knew I was going to be myself. I wanted to connect with people deeply. There’s been talk about whether I was being sincere or strategic, but being sincere was my strategy. It gave me options in the game, and it was the best way to spend time out there. We had so much downtime, so I’d rather talk about things like faith, family, or what people believe happens after we die. The meditation thing could be read the wrong way, but it started because we visualized winning—and we kept winning. Eventually, people started asking me to guide them. I just don’t know how to live any other way than being true to who I am, even if I was misunderstood.

Men’s Journal: Who was your closest ally during the game?

Shannon: It’s hard to say because I was in so many different situations. Early on, it was Savannah. We were in every alliance together. Then, after the swap, I felt close to Kristina [Mills], but even more so to Steven. I really trusted him, which just speaks to what a great player he is. I also thought it was fate that Sage and I kept ending up on the same tribes. Once we were together that third time, I really did want to work with her. I had to keep adapting every few days.

Men’s Journal: Looking back, do you think there was anything you could have done differently to save yourself that night?

Shannon: Honestly, I don’t think I would’ve picked up on it. Part of my gameplay was that I didn’t want to play scared or paranoid—I wanted to play from a state of love, not fear. People can debate whether that’s a good way to play, but that’s who I am. If I had sensed it, my only shot would’ve been using my Shot in the Dark. But I trusted the relationships I had, and I’m proud of that.

Men’s Journal: Would you ever play Survivor again?

Shannon:Survivor is like an addictive drug. There’s no experience like it—the high, the intensity, the adrenaline. I’d love to see the science behind it because I think it really does something to your brain chemistry. There’s a part of me that craves that intensity again. But where I’m at in my faith journey, it’s hard sometimes to reconcile lying to people. If I was invited back, I’d have to pray about it a lot. But I’m so grateful for the experience. It’s been incredibly transformative.

Men’s Journal: That’s such a grounded outlook.

Shannon: Yeah, I have great resources and support. Life’s good. I got blindsided on Survivor. I didn’t get drafted to war or get a deadly illness. Perspective helps.