The ‘Taco Bell 50K’ is the world’s most hellish sporting event

This is hell on earth.

What began as a goofy event in Denver is now spreading across the country. This past weekend the first “Taco Bell 50K” in Minneapolis was run — which garnered more attention for the event, while also underscoring how this is the most diabolical concept in sports.

Imagine running a long distance, 50 kilometers more precisely, which is further than a marathon. Now mix in that you need to make multiple stops along the way to consume Taco Bell items — and no, drinks don’t count as an “item.”

The rules were even more diabolical broken down into line items:

• Consume one menu item at each of seven Taco Bell locations along the race route
• Runners must consume one burrito and one crunchwrap as part of their seven items
• Consuming Pepto Bismol, vomiting, bathroom breaks are all allowed

In total 50+ people actually competed in the event.

Forget live más, this is morir más. A true death run only for the most depraved humans who wanted to experience the pressures of running an ultramarathon while also having liquids squirt from every bodily orifice at the same time. What makes this even more alarming is that the Minnesota rules were tame compared to the OG Denver rules.

That event is still going and set to take place in October. It ups the number of stops to nine, and adds all sorts of kicker rules to make it more difficult.

Can you imagine for a second the pain of eating NINE items while running AND downing two liters of Baja Blast while doing this event?

I am deeply concerned that the spread of this sports virus from Colorado to Minnesota means it might infect more countries. I’m especially worried because if it ends up in my neck of the woods I might need to try it.