My predictions for the Toronto Raptors season... told as if it was an episode of Glee
I imagined this season of Toronto Raptors basketball as an episode of Glee, with song picks, because why not? Let’s have some fun.
We fade into the Toronto Raptors locker room...
For our purposes today, this locker room will serve as the choir room for our little journey.
Head Coach Darko Rajaković stands in front of a white board, the young and spunky team eying him skeptically. The rest of the league doesn’t think they can make it past sectionals and into the NBA playoffs. Maybe they’re right...
No! Coach says they have to stay positive! He points to the single word he has written on the white board — the lesson in our story today.
DEVELOPMENT.
These guys don’t want to develop, they want to win! Losing sucks, having slushies dumped on their heads in the streets is getting old.*
*This isn’t actually happening to the Raptors, just roll with it.
How can Darko rally his team together to be pumped about the lesson at hand? Well, this is Glee, isn’t it! The music ramps up... despite no one turning on a stereo.
For the more interactive experience through this blog, you can look up my song selections and listen along...
Would this really be a Glee parody if we didn’t kick things off with a rendition of Don’t Stop Believing by Journey? A song about building yourself up brick by brick and never forgetting the possibility that lies ahead?
If I was blocking this scene, it would involve a lot of standing on chairs and people rolling back and forth on ball carts. The little puffs of air that come out those green gatorade water bottles would serve as visual effects. It’s all very theatrical of course.
So, we head into the season with optimism, with the feeling of togetherness. There’s hope, and a desire to prove themselves to the world. To defy the odds and show everyone they are better than what the predictions are saying. A rag tag group of youngsters taking the NBA by storm.
Yet, ultimately, the NBA is hard. There are a lot of bigger, better, more talented glee clubs — er, teams. Despite the fact that the Raptors have the best costumes by far, and the purple is really working for them, they can’t seem to pull many wins together. They lose hope when the going gets tough — but they must come together and remember that they are GOOD basketball players!
It’s mid-game against a winnable team — Houston, or Portland, you know — but the same insecurities are come through. As the team’s new leader, it’s Scottie’s job to inspire his team to push past the adversities and win as a team.
What better way to do that than through the power of song?
What better song to achieve this feeling than Get’cha Head in the Game? Seriously, if some of y’all have never seen High School Musical... get on it.
They are letting the outside noise ruin the excellent team chemistry they’ve been building! This team needs to get their heads in the game! Through the power of basketball centric choreography — ie, plays — Scottie and his supporting cast are able to get a good team win. Vibes are high.
Now, every good episode of television has a B Plot... the secondary story, so you’re not always focusing on the main story. We need levels, character development, and inside look at the workings of this team. A side quest!
Since I am the writer of this cinematic work of art, I am going to make our side quest the “RJ Barrett All-Star campaign” — because if our guy keeps up the same numbers he did after the trade last season... it’s a possibility.
That doesn’t come without its hardships. It’s difficult to be taken seriously as an All-Star prospect on a losing team. With all of RJ’s efforts, the First Take guys are still going to say he shouldn’t get the nod.
You knew a ballad was coming. Well, if you know anything about musicals you knew the ballad was coming. At the beginning of a musical, after the big group scenes and numbers establish the world and dynamic of the story we are being told, a character usually sings an “I want” ballad. They explain to the audience what their goals are, and usually the rest of the story is them achieving those goals and their journey.
A great ballad for this side quest is, of course, The Climb by Miley Cyrus. There is moody lighting, maybe we are in the parking garage after a game. Barrett is alone, he bares his soul to the inspiring lyrics about being on his uphill battle, and remembering that it’s a journey. Ultimately, he believes he will make it to the top.
Around December, teams usually have to decide if they are tanking or not. Many think the Raptors should tank... but a team is never going to outright say they are tanking. The vibe usually changes around this time. Gone is the excitement and adrenaline of the beginning of the season, and in comes the cold winter months and the reality of the length of the season.
Now, to do a bit of foreshadowing, the team is going to sing Wavin’ Flag(g) by K’NAAN. Get it... Flag(g). Cooper Flagg? It’s subtle, I know. The audience will hopefully get a little glimpse into the future with that one.
As February comes along, we get into the part of the story often called “the dark night of the soul,” — yes, I went to film school, what about it?
If you’ve ever watched a movie, you know there is always a part about three quarters of the way through when everything goes wrong for our hero. Their whole plan crumbles, and it looks like nothing will ever go right for them. They spend some time being a damn bummer.
For this story, that will be when RJ Barrett doesn’t get his All-Star nod. It will be sad, and really the only thing the team was hoping would come out of this season will have failed. Everyone is really down, and RJ is upset because he worked really hard guys!
Yet, it’s called dark “night” of the soul because the night doesn’t last forever, ultimately the sun rises and the hero finds the courage and strength to carry on.
In this case, it’s time for an Immanuel Quickley solo. The positive energy of the group, I don’t think I’ve seen IQ look negatively at the situation he’s been placed in. He knows low points are part of the journey.
So, he leads his team in a rendition for Fight Song by Rachel Platten... in a lower key of course. They have to keep fighting despite the fact that things aren’t going their way. These lessons they learn now will help them be better players and better PEOPLE in the future. They will remember more about the memories and lessons in this season then they will about the losses.
So, the fight carries on...
Ultimately, the season will likely end without a postseason trip. We end up back where we started, in the locker room. Darko writes the word “development’ on the board, the same as at the beginning of the year. It means a little more to everyone now... they’ve gone through trials, highs and lows, and ultimately feel a little further along on their journey. They’ve come along as a team, but also individually in their skills.
They know better times are ahead, and this season was valuable in its own ways.
With that, they do a wildly choreographed number to Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson. They are ready to rest and get back to work over the summer. They hope to be better next year. Ultimately, they know that they are stronger having gone through this season...
We pan out of the locker room and onto the now empty court in Scotiabank Arena. The Raptor sits there alone... another season over.
Fade out...
That’s what you missed on Glee.
The full playlist:
Don’t Stop Believing (Glee Cast Version)
Get’cha Head in the Game — High School Musical
The Climb — Miley Cyrus
Wavin’ Flag(g) — K’NAAN
Fight Song — Rachel Platten
Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) — Kelly Clarkson