This NBA x Rugrats merch is nostalgic perfection

Chuckie cannot play interior defense.

Nothing speaks to my childhood more than the deep affinity I have for all things Nicktoons. Well, that is to say the “classic” rotation consisting of Rugrats, Rocko’s Modern Life, Aaaahh! Real Monsters, Doug and Hey Arnold!

So, when I saw these incredible mashup of basketball and Rugrats merch I knew they had to be mine.

The only shame is that designers Peace Collective are only focused on major markets right now. I’ll have to wait to get the Hornets-themed Rugrats merch of my childhood dreams.

As much as I love this stuff, I can’t shake the image on one of these shirts.

Tommy Pickles vs. Chuckie Finster would unquestionably be the saddest game of 1 v 1 in the Nickelodeon universe. Here you’ve got a brave, but physically lacking Tommy, posting up against a terrified interior defender in Chuckie.

This is the kind of game that would last three hours and end in a 0-0 draw. I have no confidence either toddler could effectively score.

Tommy is a dreamer. A planner. He’s made to run the point, not body up in the key. Half the time Tommy needs his dog Spike to really achieve anything, and there are no dogs in basketball (unless you’re talking about Air Bud).

Then there’s Chuckie. Poor, sweet Chuckie. This kid is allergic to life. He’s terrified of absolutely everything, and suffers from crippling anxiety fueled by his over-protective father. There is absolutely no way Chuckie would excel at any contact sports, let alone work the middle and defend the rim. Just not going to happen.

While Tommy and Chuckie are the most iconic characters from Rugrats, we all know the real marquee matchup from the universe is Phil vs. Lil. Sibling rivalry, equal size, competitive spirit. That’s the game I want to see.