Guy Fieri is taking Jay Leno on a Donkey Sauce powered ride to Flavortown in a giant shopping cart

I saw this so you have to as well.

So here’s the deal: I live in a constant state of needing to make sense of the world. I do this through developing theories about things I discover. Not like, bad conspiracy theories, but dumb harmless theories. It’s probably because I have an overactive imagination stemming from too much cough syrup as a kid.

Anyway, I didn’t realize it until this moment but I think Jay Leno and Guy Fieri are the same person. They occupy the same space because Guy traveled through a wormhole to tell his parallel universe self about the road stops he could drive to in his fancy cars and give his taste buds a squonk pounding with a capital “P.” If you carefully watch the above video you can pinpoint the precise moment where Fieri tells Leno they’re one in the same.

Or maybe it’s more like Fieri is the metaphysical manifestation of Leno’s Id. A part of his subconsciousness he had to suppress during those years of late night television, only to break free and drive his exotic cars around. When that moment happened there was a break in the timeline and Guy Fire broke free, but he was wild — untamed. He traveled the earth engorging himself on earthly delights without knowledge of Leno, until a kindly fry cook named Gus, who works at a carnival in Redondo Beach told Fieri about his alter ego and now the two coalesced.

“The two must never meet,” the prophesy foretold, “for if they do the world shall be torn asunder.”

We’re all doomed.

The heralds of our destruction will be on “Jay Leno’s Garage,” Thursday April. 26 at 10 p.m. ET. It’s kind of relieving to know the time and date of your death.