7 things we know and 10 things we don’t about Eduardo Escobar meeting Nicolas Cage

Best crossover ever.

Twins shortstop Eduardo Escobar was photographed in San Juan with Nicolas Cage on Wednesday, with reports saying both were at the Twins’ team hotel at the same time. Apparently, Escobar has used Cage’s movies to improve his English skills and enjoys The Rock and Face/Off.

Cage reportedly replied by agreeing to a picture and saying “Thank you, Escobar.”

There’s a lot going on here, so here are 7 things we know and 10 things we don’t about this photograph and overall situation.

Things we know:

1. Escobar has great taste in movies. If the first two Cage movies you think of are The Rock and Face/Off when you suddenly meet Cage himself you’re good in my book.
2. Cage’s T-Shirt is amazing. It reads “Godzilla vs. Mothra and Ghidorah” with “The Titans of Terror” scrawled on the top and it’s exactly what you would expect Nicolas Cage to be wearing on a beach in Puerto Rico.
3. You can buy Cage’s T-Shirt on ebay for 20.99 right now.
4. Cage’s hat is the opposite of amazing. Sorry Nic, but you’re 54 years old. So, nah.
5. Escobar’s checkered belt and khakis look is a very “2007 private school where everyone’s trying to sneak Vans and Burton accessories into their uniform” combination.
6. Cage is in San Juan shooting a movie. It’s called Primal and it sounds suitably batshit. Let The Hollywood Reporter explain:

The actor is set to star in a film directed by veteran stunt coordinator Nick Powell (The Bourne Identity, X-Men: The Last Stand, Cinderella Man), which centers on Frank Walsh (Cage), a big game hunter for zoos who has booked passage on a Greek shipping freighter with a fresh haul of exotic and deadly animals from the Amazon, including a rare white jaguar. However, the big cat isn’t the most deadly creature on board. Richard Loffler, a political assassin being extradited to the U.S in secret, is also along for the ride. Two days into their journey, Loffler escapes the team of U.S. Marshals guarding him and releases the captive animals, throwing the ship into chaos. Walsh must now find a way to save the crew from not only the dangerous beasts, but also the mad man on the loose.

Famke Janssen is also in it. Fully, unbelievably, on board with this.

7. If you zoom into this picture for too long, Nic Cage will consume your soul via his stare alone.

I’m so sorry.

Things we do not know but would very much like to know:

1. Did Cage smile once during this entire interaction?
2. “Thank you, Escobar” sounds like it could be from any of a dozen or more Cage movies. How often is Cage just conversing completely in his own movie quotes right now?
3. When is the last time Cage was clean shaven?
4. Did Cage process that Escobar was a prominent professional athlete at any point during or after the conversation?
5. How much money would it take to convince Nic Cage to actually make a “Godzilla vs. Mothra and Ghidorah” movie. $5 million? Less?
6. Is the object sitting in front of the wine bottle, visible between the two of them, a pen, a fancy butter knife, or (the one I’m clearly rooting for) a vape?
7. How much did that bottle of wine cost?
8. How uncomfortable is Cage with Escobar putting his arm around him when he obviously does not want to reciprocate?
9. That water looks nice. Despite the hotel being directly on the beach, has Cage been swimming once since filming began?
10. When is the last time Nic Cage went swimming?