Miraculous waterslider skips across water and flawlessly strolls out of pool like boss

Our man has definitely done this before.

So. You’re at the waterpark casually enjoying an early June afternoon. Sun’s out, heavily lathered in sunscreen, having just a grand old time. Then suddenly:

THE GAME HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN CHANGED.

Now, let’s break this down a bit. Our glorious hero begins the highlight completely out of frame. Bathers are lazily unsuspecting and content. All above board.

And then WOOSH ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE DAMN POOL. ON HIS DAMN REAR END. ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE DAMN POOL ON HIS DAMN REAR END. MERCY.

But perhaps most impressive here is our guy’s dismount. He just straight up stands right up out of his ass slide, rips the shirt back over his head and chest, and walks off. If he had been holding a mic, he most certainly would have dropped it. Get this man a mic.

And, not to let his celebration be too understated, note his Steph Curry-like slow clap as he struts away from the destruction in his wake. Why isn’t there a mouthguard hanging out of the side of his mouth?

Your highlight standard of the summer has officially been set. We’re all better for having this wonderful man in our lives.