Baseball: The Funny Sport
The passing of Bob Uecker last month, coupled with the inception of another baseball season in a few weeks, prompts a question: Why are baseball figures funnier than those of other sports? (RELATED: The Great Bob Uecker: Remembering ‘Mr. Baseball’)
Simply asking the question supposes a debatable assumption — that baseball players and diamond-adjacent figures are indeed funnier than football players or basketball players, or boxers or gymnasts or curlers, for that matter.
Shaq and Sir Charles can get a rise, but, if truth be told, they are more honest than they are funny.Eli and Peyton Manning generate muffled chuckles. True, Muhammad Ali’s verbal jousts with “Humble Howard” were classic, and Mike Tyson can fetch risibilities on occasion.
But Bob Uecker … now, he was funny. He parlayed a forgettable six-year major league tenure behind the plate into a spectacular post-diamond career. From acting in movies (“Juuuust a bit outside”) to work in epic TV commercials (“Must be front row”) to over 100 appearances on The Tonight Show to an epic Hall of Fame acceptance speech to 54 years of amusing baseball persiflage from the Milwaukee Brewers radio booth, he lived and breathed funny. He has no peer on either the gridiron or the basketball court.
And he descends from a lineage of baseball humorists that includes Yogi Berra and Casey Stengel and Jim Bouton and Sparky Lyle and an actual class of comedians called “Clown Princes of Baseball” — men who dressed in funny uniforms and performed silly baseball-related gags. Al Schacht and Max Patkin were only two of the better-known physical comedians.
Baseball movies are funnier and arguably better than basketball and football movies — to wit, Major League, Bull Durham, Bad News Bears, A League of Their Own. Basketball and football do not claim literary humor anywhere near the level of Ring Lardner’s You Know Me Al.
As for mascots, nobody in silly ensembles would be cavorting on basketball courts or football fields were it not for a baseball mascot — the KGB Chicken, a.k.a. San Diego Chicken, a.k.a. The Chicken. He popularized the sports mascot trade and was easily the most hilarious of these creatures, and he broke into the business with the San Diego Padres. The Phillie Phanatic and Orbit (Houston Astros) are lesser entities but still superior to anything commanding the timeouts of football or basketball games (with the possible exception of the Gorilla — the early Gorilla, that is).
While the sport still features sui generis wordsmiths (or, in some cases, word-butchers), it’s in the area of pranking that baseballers shine. Whether they’re sneaking up behind players being interviewed and shoving a pie in their face or dousing them in Gatorade baths, or glueing upside-down cups or blown bubble-gum bubbles to the tops of unsuspecting teammates’ caps, or taking their mischief to another level, as did Moe Drabowsky in his day, being pushed down to first base in a wheelchair after taking a pitch on the foot, baseball figures are simply funnier than their peers in other sports.
The question is why.
Well, the game does include a lot of downtime, a lot of opportunity for humor. There’s no clock, no constant pressure to seize every moment as in football and basketball. Plus, the individual games themselves don’t mean as much — they play 162 of them, after all, which frees players up to be goofy once in a while.
Also, it’s a noncontact sport. There is cause for fisticuffs in a football and basketball game with every play. Elbows thrown under the boards, hard fouls on guards taking it to the basket; on the gridiron, blockers diving to take out defenders’ knees or linebackers body-slamming little scatbacks — tempers can roil on every single play.
Baseball players aren’t banging up against one another like that. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. The baseball rules committee has severely curtailed the take-out slide at second base, and the play-at-the-plate has been totally neutered.
Baseball players are downright chatty with their opponents. First basemen are famous for distracting baserunners who arrive at their base with small talk; middle infielders can always be seen joking with runners at second; and catchers and batters sometimes act like buddies who haven’t seen each other in a while.
About the only spark for baseball fisticuffs these days comes from pitchers throwing at, or too close to, batters. Notwithstanding a few epic pitcher-batter brawls — Nolan Ryan’s headlock and subsequent beatdown of Robin Ventura is No. 1 on that hit parade — the fights are a long way from “Malice at the Palace” level.
The pitcher and batter do engage with some level of intensity, but the guys on the periphery of the fracas could be slow-dancing with each other for all the aggression they exhibit. Benches empty, arriving with random levels of urgency in the infield. The bullpen personnel embark upon their “traditional trot” into the infield like old guys finishing a charity fun run.
Even the dugout might play a role in baseball humor. It’s unique in sports, offering a retreat from prying eyes and encouraging team building, camaraderie, and hijinks. For all the batting helmets thrown and water coolers punched, there is the unique culture that encourages guy-like shenanigans.
And, finally, there are the peripherals — the funny ancillary stuff that makes a trip to the ballpark memorable. Games are visited by uninvited guests — cats, squirrels, possums, and pigeons have all been known to bring ground crews out from their redoubts for epic outfield chases. Some such animals reach fame, like rally squirrels running across home plate in St. Louis, or, more tragically, wayward birds exterminated by Randy Johnson fastballs.
In addition, sausages (Milwaukee) or pierogis (Pittsburgh) or presidents (Washington), and a host of other mascots, race around the warning track during between-inning breaks. Fans stand and sing baseball songs at some stadiums. Players and fans don rally caps when their team needs some runs.
It’s all fun … and funny.
The “Ueck” has left us, alas. And may he rest in peace.
But another baseball season is upon us, and all the fun — and funniness — that portends.
READ MORE from Tom Raabe:
The Great Bob Uecker: Remembering ‘Mr. Baseball’
Christian Churches Mark 1,700th Anniversary of the Nicene Creed
What’s the Matter With the NBA?
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