Caleb Hudson Henshaw, 21, Was a Much-Loved Setter and Coach in Asheville, NC

Caleb Hudson Henshaw, 21, September 8

Caleb Hudson Henshaw was voted “Wittiest” and “Most Likely to Be on a Magazine Cover” in high school—accolades he cared so little about that his mother only found the certificates crumpled in a box after his death. She said that this innate charm, coupled with an easy-going humility, was what defined her son.

Henshaw, who died on September 8, was born in Charleston, South Carolina, and spent most of his life in the Carolinas, most recently the Raleigh-Durham area. He attended Voyager Academy High School in Durham, and then Western Carolina University, where he became a licensed EMT. At the time of his death, he set and coached full-time for Riveter Climbing Gym in Asheville.

His mother, Lori Hudson-McFarlane, said that her son was funny, well-liked, and athletic, but always relaxed. “Life came easy to him,” Hudson-McFarlane said. “He didn’t take anything too seriously.”

Henshaw practiced a variety of sports, including jiu-jitsu, mountain biking, hunting, fishing, and skateboarding. He was also a talented guitarist, and built his own gaming computer. “Whatever he wanted to do, he pursued it,” his mother said. “He wasn’t someone who would say, ‘I don’t know how to do that.’ He would figure it out. I admired that. I wasn’t like that at his age.”

Henshaw started rock climbing at the age of 14 and it quickly became his polestar. “He absolutely loved it,” she said. “He was obsessed. He wanted to go climbing all the time, and when he couldn’t climb outside he was in the gym.”

Climbing, for Henshaw, seemed to be as much about the community as it was about the rock. “He just wanted to get out and try anything that caught his eye, whether it was a technical V3 slab or a tall, scary V10,” said friends Lauren Kelley and Jack Colgan. “When it came to climbing, he always lived in the moment and went with the psych of the crew.” Henshaw’s priority, Kelley said, wasn’t to climb hard, but to “enjoy spending time outside climbing with his friends.” She and Colgan said what made Henshaw special was his endless support for those around him. “He was always happy to come with us to our projects, carry pads, spot, and bring the psych.”

“He would always talk about how the coolest people he met in life were from the climbing community,” Hudson-McFarlane said. “And he loved sharing climbing with new people, that’s why he loved being a coach.”

His mother said that she hadn’t realized, until her son’s death, how much he meant to the young kids he coached. When Henshaw died, the gym held a candlelight vigil for him, “and this little kid stood up,” Hudson-McFarlane said. “He was maybe eight or nine. Not very old. A little kid. And he got up in front of that group and said, ‘Caleb was always nice to me. Caleb never made fun of me.’”

“Out of all the things that people said after he died, that’s what stuck with me most of all,” Hudson-McFarlane recalled. “As a parent, you just want your children to be kind people, to treat other people well.” She paused. “I’m so proud I got to be his mom.”

Henshaw was killed in a head-on collision with a drunk driver who was traveling on the wrong side of the interstate. He was 21 years old. “I just want people [reading this] to pursue their passion, have fun, be good to each other,” his mother said, “but to remember that the choices we make in life, good or bad, impact other people.”

In addition to his mother, he is survived by his father, Anthony Godeaux Henshaw Jr., stepfather, Kieran McFarlane, and a brother and sister, Gage Godeaux Henshaw and Madeleine McFarlane.

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