Climbing at the Gym for the First Time? Here Are 7 Things You Should Know.

Here on the eve of your first-ever gym visit, you might find yourself nervous. What if, god forbid, you’re bad at rock climbing? What if it’s scary? What if you hate it—or, worse—like it, and then have to watch all your free time, money, and emotional energy spiral down the drain of all-consuming obsession?

If you have an addictive personality (like yours truly), beware: Climbing may be habit-forming. If you’d prefer to save your money for World of Warcraft figurines and keep your evenings and weekends free to rot in front of your television, then this is your last warning. Get out now, while you still can.

If you aren’t the obsessive type, then you have much less to fear. Climbing can be a thing you enjoy once a month, once a year, or once and never again. It can be a first date, a weekly fitness habit, a seasonal sport, a mid-life crisis, or an existential epiphany that you quit your job and move into a van for. There’s no one right way to approach it. But there are a few things you can do to make sure Day One goes well—no matter where you plan to take things next. Here are seven things you should know (that your gym probably won’t tell you).

1. Wear pants.

You’re about to spend 90 minutes whacking your knees into plastic holds. Pants are the best way to ensure your coworkers don’t make a lot of assumptions when you go back to work on Monday. Slim-fitting joggers or leggings are especially important if you plan to rope-climb. Basketball shorts may feel comfy on the court, but they tend to wad up in inopportune places under a harness.

2. You don’t have to go to the top.

You’re a grown-up, and no one can make you do anything. If you hate heights, feel free to call it quits halfway up the wall. This applies to boulder problems and roped climbs alike. If you’re tired and want to get down, feel empowered to do so. If your buddy tells you to keep going, reply with, “You can’t tell me what to do!” at the top of your lungs. In my experience, that tends to shut them up quite nicely. If you’re bouldering, simply jump off or downclimb whenever you feel like it.

3. No one is watching you climb (we promise).

It’s normal to feel self-conscious in a new setting, particularly if it seems like you’re the only one squealing and falling all over the place. But trust me: No one cares how bad (or good) you are at rock climbing. Everyone else is too busy working on their own equally pointless gym project, checking their biceps in the mirror, or wondering if that hottie from the front desk is working today. They’re paying zero attention to you. So go nuts.

4. You can use any holds you want.

At some point, friends, gym personnel, and total strangers will all try to tell you that you can only use holds that are “on route” (i.e., all of the same color). While staying on route is useful for dedicated climbers who want to work on progression, this doesn’t apply to beginners. You’re an adult (see rule 2), and climbing was designed to be recreational. To quote the ‘90s improv show Whose Line is it Anyway?, “The rules are made up and the points don’t matter.” So, if you really like the look of that pink hold, to hell with it—grab the thing and charge shamelessly onward.

5. The chalk is there for a reason.

Most gyms will sell or lend you chalk. Use it. Like climbing shoes (and Viagra), chalk is performance-enhancing. It will vastly improve feel and friction, and will help you go longer with less effort. Plus, everyone knows climbing is all about virtue signaling. And nothing says “Hey, I just went climbing!” like going to lunch with chalky handprints all over our clothes.

6. You don’t have to like climbing.

Plenty of people are obsessed with climbing. But the vast majority of people in the world aren’t. Don’t let your friends or significant other pressure you into falling in love with their sport. It can be their thing and not your thing—and that’s okay. If you don’t want to leave your comfort zone, try harder routes, or be “braver,” then don’t. Goof off and heed the sage advice of the late Alex Lowe: “The best climber in the world is the one having the most fun.”

7. Wash your hands—and your feet—after climbing.

You just spent the day touching the same holds as countless other germy adults with questionable hygiene. So wash your hands before heading out of the gym. And if you trusted your bare tootsies to the gym’s putrid rentals, give those feet a soapy scrub before you contaminate your street shoes. You’re welcome.

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