Peek Inside This New Climbing-Inspired Queer Graphic Novel

It was a whirlwind time for Laura Gao. Her first graphic novel, Messy Roots, was “blowing up.” She was starting to concept out her second book. And she’d just come out to her parents.

“I had these conflicting emotions of, ‘Wow, I’m on such a high in my life,’ but in my personal life, it was really hard to deal with.” On top of that, she was going through a big breakup.

“Because it was such an emotional whirlwind,” Gao remembers, “I did what any lesbian would probably do and hit the gym really hard.”

That ended up inspiring a major theme in her second graphic novel: competitive climbing. In her new YA graphic novel released on March 4, a high school girl grapples with her drive to compete as a climber, a pesky injury, coming out, and love.

We caught up with Gao to find out how climbing became the leading metaphor in Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (in Love), what inspired her illustrations, and why she loves climbing. We also share some of our favorite climbing spreads from her book.

Climbing: How did you come up with the idea for Kirby’s Lessons?

Laura Gao: I have always wanted to write a queer love story, especially for queer Asian women like myself. Growing up I never saw any of that representation. This particular idea didn’t come to me until I was probably six months into revising multiple drafts that weren’t really working out.

I had this epiphany that in climbing we fall constantly. Every fall makes us want to pick ourselves up again and go one step higher, one hold further to make it. It gave me a lot of courage when it came to tackling the other personal issues of my life. If falling in love hurts so much, why do we keep trying? If talking about my identity with my parents hurts so much, why do I keep trying to have them understand me? I wanted to write Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (in Love) as a way of exploring all those really hard emotions that I was going through in my life.

Climbing: How did you first get into climbing?

Gao: It’s funny because I’ve lived in San Francisco for seven years now, and it’s like, ‘How have you not hit the climbing gym?’ But I was very much like, ‘Why would I want to hurt myself and fall for fun?’

One of my queer friends invited me to go climbing with her and that’s how I met my current partner. That was the first time I had ever tried climbing. I just wanted something new and it ended up being a big thing for me.

Climbing: Did you love climbing immediately or did it take some time to get hooked?

Gao: It took a while. We went top roping and it was my first time, so I was not about the heights. Afterward, I was like, ‘My fingers and hands hurt so much!’ But it slowly started to grow on me, especially meeting all these other queer folks through the gym—and then that sense of accomplishment every time you send something, right?

Climbing: So what gym do you go to? What type of climbing do you like to do?

Gao: There’s a system in San Francisco of Touchstone climbing gyms. I have one just a few blocks from where I live. I mostly do top-roping. I did a lot of bouldering, but then I suffered this really bad ankle injury, which also kind of inspired Kirby’s injury in the book. Afterwards, I was like, ‘All right, I’m just going to go back to top roping.’

Climbing: In your book, Kirby sticks to indoor climbing. Do you have any interest in climbing outdoors one day?

Gao: I mostly stay at the gym because after that ankle injury, I became such a wimp. It just seems really dangerous—but also really cool. I have friends who do outdoor climb and I’m always in awe of them. I’ll join them on their trip, but I’ll just probably be on the ground sketching them instead of actually climbing.

Climbing: Kirby, the main character, is nicknamed the “Queen of Balance” in your book. How did you come up with that nickname and what metaphor does it serve for Kirby’s ability to balance on a route and find balance while navigating life’s issues?

Gao: I grew up playing basketball, so we would have different nicknames. I thought, ‘What would be a fun nickname for someone who’s such a boss at climbing?’ Queen of Balance is what I thought of.

But not only is it a nickname for Kirby, it’s an allusion to what Kirby ends up dealing with later on in the book. She is a climber, but at the same time, a lot of her conflict comes from wanting to love who she wants. Will her family and church community understand that? It’s also her trying to balance so much in her life—the responsibilities and commitments towards her friends, being the eldest daughter who has to take care of her family whenever her mom is at work, or having to deal with her grandpa’s medical issues.

Regardless of whether you’re a climber, you’re constantly having to balance. Kirby is such a master at climbing, who’s able to balance everything on the wall. But—as you see in a scene with the coach—when you don’t have balance in life, it’s really hard to stay up on the wall. That goes for anything that we have passions for.

Climbing: Were you writing and illustrating the book during any World Cups or the Summer 2024 Olympics? Did those climbing events inspire any of your drawings?

Gao: Yeah, I definitely got a lot of info. I’d be like, ‘Wait. Freeze that frame!’

Climbing: How did you source inspiration for the many illustrations of climbing in Kirby’s Lessons for Falling (in Love). Did you take pictures at the gym or did you actually do sketching at the gym?

Gao: I took pictures of competitive climbers whenever I saw them on TV. Since I climb a lot with my partner, sometimes if she’s on the wall, I’m like, ‘That’s a great move. Let me just take a picture of that.’ It’s also just from memory.

Climbing: Obviously, falling is a major metaphor in your book. Personally, what has embracing falling or failure taught you about being willing to put it all on the line in life?

Gao: One big thing is my career. As an author and illustrator, I don’t know how my book will do until the day it hits the shelves. It’s a really scary step to take. You’re putting three, four years of your life fully into writing and drawing the best book you can and you let it all on the line without any expectation of how it will do.

That’s the scary part—you are climbing your way to the top and at any point, you could totally just fall. I have friends who have books that flopped—what do you do after that? Especially now with book bans and stuff, what happens when you write a Queer story and you’re worried about the ramifications? These are all things that can cause someone to fall in their career. The most important step is how we climb back up after that.

Climbing: One quote I really loved is, “just because the world’s crap, doesn’t mean we have to feel like it, too.” For many of us, it feels very relevant right now. How has your belief in that statement evolved from when you wrote it to now?

Gao: The world is so messy, it’s really hard to keep a positive eye to everything. That quote came about not only with the previous election, but when the same guy was elected, right? I was in college and that absolutely wrecked our world.

A few years later, when I was doing Messy Roots, all the stuff I mentioned in my personal life was really hard. It just felt like, ‘How could anyone wake up in the morning and do all the menial tasks and routines that are expected of you when all this is beating down at your door?’ I relied heavily on my community then. The only thing people could say was, ‘Everything is crap, but you don’t have to make your life crappy as a result of it.’ That quote really stuck with me and was the only thing that I could personally hold as encouragement—and also not feel guilty about it.

Maybe you feel guilty because there’s so much happening in the world and you have this one really awesome moment with someone. How could I have this moment when so much is happening in the world? But that’s the only thing keeping us going is all these small, really happy moments that you share with the people you love.

Climbing: Another quote that stuck with me from your book: “You can’t outclimb a shit situation.” Kirby’s coach says this when she is struggling to perform on the wall. It almost seems to run counter to the positivity of the previous quote I pulled out. What’s the greater meaning behind this quote?

Gao: One big theme in the book is that you can try to take control, but at the same time when there truly is this shit-storm and you’re only relying on yourself, that’s when everything topples over. I wanted to instill this idea of relying on your community and not feeling guilty for it or like you’re taking up too much of their space.

But at the same time, you turn to climbing as a way to cope with family issues. So on the flip side, it can be therapeutic and a way to get a different perspective, or just feel better so you can tackle problems mentally.

Climbing was so therapeutic for me to just turn off my brain and focus on something in front of me. To be able to just go and complete something and not feel like, ‘I’m an abject failure because my parents don’t accept me or X, Y, and Z.’ But climbing alone is not going to solve all my personal problems. But it is a way for me to just clear my thoughts and be one with myself and my body.

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