6 Proven Ways to Turn Your Belaytionship into a Relationship

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There are few bonds stronger than those forged between climbers who rope up together. Your lives in each other’s hands, adrenaline surges and sparks may fly. That’s why it’s not hard to seduce your climbing partner, and level up your belaytionship into a romantic relationship.

The benefits of doing so are countless. Significant others are required to be more patient as you labor away on your project. Trust grows and flourishes. And romantic Old World climbing destinations from Kalymnos to the Dolomites await.

I speak from experience. Long ago in the early 2010s, my boyfriend (and climbing partner) left me for an undisclosed period of time to pursue some alpine objectives in Alaska. A couple weeks after his departure, I got a break-up call.

Luckily, I had already secured an interim climbing partner during my (now ex-) boyfriend’s absence: my friend Casey. We’d met working at a nonprofit in Crested Butte, Colorado, where we both lived. It wasn’t long before I started considering him as more than just a climbing partner. Not only was he fun to get out with, but he could make a great rebound, I reasoned—maybe even more than that.

Newly single, I began testing different strategies for escalating our belaytionship. Within a couple months, those strategies began to pay off. This May, Casey and I will celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary.

With that, here are some proven tactics for turning your climbing partner into your life partner (or something in between).

1. Catch their whip and meet them in mid-air

While difficult to orchestrate, this is the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti moment of the climbing world. There’s nothing like locking eyes with your love interest shortly after saving their life, while dangling alongside a cliff in the middle of nowhere.

To be honest, I can’t remember if this happened before or after Casey and I started dating, but it was a pivotal moment in our emerging relationship. We were climbing in Colorado’s Spring Creek Canyon, when Casey, who weighs almost twice as much to me, took what was, according to him, the biggest whipper of his life.

Probably eager to impress me, he hadn’t even let me know he was struggling up there, or even so much as uttered “take” or “falling.” He had been out of sight for at least 10 minutes as I slowly dished out rope. The weight of his fall yanked me upward and we met in the air. It was an “oh shit” moment in more than one way. And it taught us a valuable lesson: Ever since, I anchor myself to the ground when belaying Casey on lead.

2. Be the hero that removes their stuck nut

We’ve all been there, laboring away at that nut (or cam or other trad piece) wedged way too deep in the crack. But instead of hollering up insults at your partner’s gear placement skills, keep your mouth shut and direct your energy toward the nut.

Don’t complain; don’t give up. That old nut may not be worth more than $10, but it is an invaluable member of your partner’s trad rack. Plus, your partner may be in between gigs and unable to afford to replace that nut until next season.

So always carry a nut tool, brush up on your gear cleaning skills before you head out, and show them just how committed you can be.

3. Pack post-climb refreshments

Surprise and delight your climbing partner by tossing a few beers, hard seltzers, or canned mocktails into the bottom of your pack. Since crags and bouldering areas are often far from the nearest bar, this is a good way to bring the bar to the crag.

When the sun starts to set, bust out those beverages and stay for a while, whether you post up on top of a boulder or on the tailgate. Then get down to business. Align on shared climbing goals and dreams. Pencil in dates for a weekend camping trip to a nearby crag. Bond over your common distaste for belay glasses. And convince them that they should really try ice climbing.

4. Take them ice climbing

Disclaimer: This climbing partner seduction tip is not for everyone! Maybe they already ice climb, or you do not ice climb. Perhaps you live in Arizona (even then, no hard excuses). But if this tip could apply to your budding belaytionship romance, take it.

It wasn’t easy for me to convince a lifelong skier fresh off the Freeride World Tour that swapping some powder for ice was a smart move. But I did it. And a few years later, we got engaged on top of an ice climb.

There’s something about the sharp objects, the sound of dinner plate-sized ice crashing to the ground, and the possibility of a post-climb soak or steam that just sets the mood. Plus, expanding your horizons as climbers together will make your bond as bomber as a well-set V thread.

5. Avoid climbing gyms

There may be no faster way to sabotage your budding climbing romance than by setting foot in a gym. Amid the bright lights, crowded plastic canyons, and lurking foot odors, the vibes may not survive.

Personally, I can count the number of times Casey and I have climbed in a gym together on one hand. There is a time and a place for gyms, particularly after you have kids and suddenly have no time to climb ever, but that time and a place is not necessarily before you’ve locked it down. “It” being your belaytionship. Keep it outside.

6. Be a dirtbag’s daddy

If the person you’re in a belaytionship with is currently living in the back of their truck down by the river with their dog, chances are they could use a hot meal that doesn’t come out of a vacuum-sealed pouch or can.

Ideally, you will invite them over and cook this hot meal for them. In my case, it was elk burgers with homemade brioche buns that did the trick. I may not be a tryhard on the sharp end, but I am in the kitchen.

Alternatively, after climbing, head to a nearby restaurant for dinner, then pick up the tab when they’re in the bathroom to set the table long-term for love.

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