Women’s U.S. Hockey Shows How to Celebrate Olympic Gold Without Kash Patel

It’s been an epic two weeks for Team USA at the Milan Cortina Olympics, and for the first time in history, both the men’s and women’s hockey teams are taking home the gold. What’s more, both of these wins were clinched in a 2-1 score during overtime, against Canada, and in the wake of a full-blown Heated Rivalry high. But the similarities stop there, and I’ll give you one chance to guess which team celebrated better. (Hint: it’s the team that isn’t full of men.)

On Monday, the U.S. women’s team officially turned down an invitation to Trump’s State of the Union Address on Tuesday night. Trump had—seemingly jokingly—said he’d invite them on Sunday, while congratulating the men’s team for their OT victory via phone call. “I must tell you, we’re going to have to bring the women’s team, you do know that,” Trump said, which received a round of laughter in the room. He added he’d “probably be impeached” otherwise. Don’t threaten us with a good time.

You can hear the genuine pride in Donald Trumps voice when he called the Team USA Hockey Team pic.twitter.com/ch6GbXShwh

— Harrison Krank (@HarrisonKrank) February 23, 2026

“We are sincerely grateful for the invitation extended to our gold medal-winning U.S. Women’s Hockey Team and deeply appreciate the recognition of their extraordinary achievement,” a USA Hockey spokesperson responded on Monday, on behalf of the women’s team. “Due to the timing and previously scheduled academic and professional commitments following the Games, the athletes are unable to participate. They were honored to be included and are grateful for the acknowledgment.” Ha! 

On Sunday, ProPublica reporter William Turton tweeted a video from inside the locker room that a source sent him, showing FBI Director Kash Patel partying with the team after Sunday’s victory. Along with wearing Team USA merch, Patel shakes an open bottle of beer, pounds the benches with his fist, and sings with the rest of the team a jingoist ditty by Toby Keith: “Courtesy of the Red, White And Blue (The Angry American)”. This also all took place hours after a man was shot at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago, following a break-in attempt.

Patel got to Milan on Thursday, using an FBI jet, which he defended by saying that “the FBI has a major role in Olympic security.” As I’ve said before… I had no idea the job of FBI director involved so much fun travel! 

The FBI director also defended himself on Sunday, tweeting, “For the very concerned media – yes, I love America and was extremely humbled when my friends, the newly minted Gold Medal winners on Team USA, invited me into the locker room to celebrate this historic moment with the boys.” In videos, he’s seen holding the phone as Trump dials in to congratulate the players.

“Unbelievable, you were all unbelievable,” Trump said on the call. “We’re giving the State of the Union Address on Tuesday night, so we can send a military plane or something, but if you would like to, it’s the coolest night.” He later adds, “We’ll get Kash, and we’ll get the military to get you guys over here.” 

thinking about how Savannah Guthrie had to cancel her trip to work the Olympics because of her mom’s kidnapping but the guy who heads up the investigative body handling the case was posting pictures of himself in the US hockey locker room today lol

— assbutt (@nasboat.org) February 22, 2026 at 8:36 PM

Sigh. Again, it’s been a stellar Olympics, and I’m psyched that of the 12 gold medals Team USA won, eight of them were won by women (the U.S. finished second overall in the medal count, winning 33 medals behind Norway’s 41). But really, leave it up to the men’s team to kill my post-Olympic high.

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